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Question: How do you balance getting back into triathlon training and racing (somewhat seriously) with having two kids under 5 and maintaining some sort of positive adult relationship with my wife? 

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Do sprints for fun until they are over 7. 

You cant seriously train and have a healthy relationship with small kids unless you are a total selfish prick. 

Pretty much train 5am each day and once on a weekend. 

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Unless you're a pro, family first, triathlon second.

If you're a pro, family first, triathlon second.

Ask yourself a serious question - what's more important to you? Your family or somewhat seriously doing triathlon? Triathlon's a hobby, treat it like one.

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1 hour ago, TriDad...Tri said:

Question: How do you balance getting back into triathlon training and racing (somewhat seriously) with having two kids under 5 and maintaining some sort of positive adult relationship with my wife? 

Talk  with your wife, listen to your wife & agree what what training will work then change it if it isnt working. 

Edited by Surfer
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15 minutes ago, trinube said:

Unless you're a pro, family first, triathlon second.

If you're a pro, family first, triathlon second.

 

Wrong.

Work first (it pays the bills and provides the lifestyle for no’s 2 & 3), family 2nd and triathlon 3rd.

Disclaimer:we all know family is first if something happens and they need you etc etc,

Back on topic. You don’t need to train every day. But when you train you get up damn early. Or run when the kids are in bed. As said you don’t need to do it every day.

 

For those who say work does not come first....... they say money isn’t everything, but I’d like to see you live with out it! 

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3 minutes ago, IronmanFoz said:

Work first (it pays the bills and provides the lifestyle for no’s 2 & 3), family 2nd and triathlon 3rd.

For those who say work does not come first....... they say money isn’t everything, but I’d like to see you live with out it! 

Nope. Some of the happiest people I've ever met have had the least money. Virtually all of them value family over everything else. Maybe it's because they don't live in rich, white, capitalistic cultures who value things over people.

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5 minutes ago, trinube said:

Nope. Some of the happiest people I've ever met have had the least money. Virtually all of them value family over everything else. Maybe it's because they don't live in rich, white, capitalistic cultures who value things over people.

But most of us do. 

I haven't seen any of the homeless folk in the city, or those coming in for free hand-outs in the Valley looking really happy. In Aus, it's hard to have no money & still be consistently happy.

 

As far as the original question, yep, don't do IM unless you don't mind plodding around under-trained. With some innovative methods you can get 10 hours of training in a week without anybody realising you are doing it.

Edited by Ex-Hasbeen
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You haven't mentioned what distance you're aiming for or your work situation and what times you have free to train.  That'll help assist further. 

Otherwise there's a top coach in Brisbane (online also) who'll have you Kona qualifying,  being CEO of a top company while being superdad and husband of the year.. look him up!

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6 hours ago, TriDad...Tri said:

Question: How do you balance getting back into triathlon training and racing (somewhat seriously) with having two kids under 5 and maintaining some sort of positive adult relationship with my wife? 

Ironman training would be a struggle? I have two young kids and battle with fatigue during IM training, my job is super cruisy too. I can manage. Just. But my social life is virtually non-existant. I do read on here and ST of people that get up at 4am during the week, train for 3 hours, go to work, work a 10 hour day, come home, cook dinner for everyone, mow the lawn, paint the fence, then get to bed at 10pm, ready to do it all over again the next day..... I'm skeptical when I read that. Or to put it another way, I'm sure there are people that do that, but at what price? 

 

 

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I did my best Ironman pre kids.

after number one was born I did a few more but times crept up as training dropped off. 
Did my last one just after number two was born then did short course and was still able to improve at short course stuff with 2 kids. 
did one more just to run around with my legend number and to be honest I shouldn’t have given the time I had available with two littlies. 
choose your priorities, your preferred distance and your expectations and you should be fine if you can juggle all those.

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15 hours can be done with younger kids, but you have to be on it all the time and be prepared to change schedule as those kids can need you at anytime.

sat and sun ride 4 hours sat 3 hours sun

run 5 times a week, morning before anyone gets up, long run wednesday

samrt trainer is your friend, two zwift sessions at night, or move the run to a lunch if you can and get some more morning

Then the evil of triathlon and kids is that its hard to swim a lot, 2 squads and then see if you can get a swim in the weekend

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Bear in mind that kids as young as yours may not be doing much in the way of extra curricular activities. As they get older and start with footy, basketball, basket weaving or whatever you’ll probably want to be around for these.

I used to run to the kids basketball games and ,run boundary for football. At least got some km in legs.

The longer the event the more inventive you’ll need to be.

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I'm not a parent, but have been reading the Ironfit book and I think maybe the tips in there might help for time management.

How much training can you do 'at home' - e.g bike trainer, even a treadmill

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Kids grow up fast.  

Triathlon will always be there. 

 

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4 hours ago, zed said:

Ironman training would be a struggle? I have two young kids and battle with fatigue during IM training, my job is super cruisy too. I can manage. Just. But my social life is virtually non-existant. I do read on here and ST of people that get up at 4am during the week, train for 3 hours, go to work, work a 10 hour day, come home, cook dinner for everyone, mow the lawn, paint the fence, then get to bed at 10pm, ready to do it all over again the next day..... I'm skeptical when I read that. Or to put it another way, I'm sure there are people that do that, but at what price? 

 

 

Zed, the rule of thumb on here is to only believe half the volume or hours people say they do, the rest if a bluff or simply BS. 

With little kids, you can do ironman but you have to limit your expectations, be realistic and "bend with the wind" when it comes to balancing things. 

Like Pete, Id recommend just doing sprint races until the kids are a bit older. It's amazing just how much training you can get done when your kids are at various sports training. Just use your imagination. When the kids are at squad for swimming, watch them for a bit then get in the pool and do some laps yourself. At footy training, help out, join in and run around, it all helps your fitness. 

As your kids get older, the less they want you hanging around. Accept it and use it. Oh and don't forget to worm yourself! 

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2 hours ago, BarryBevan said:

15 hours can be done with younger kids, but you have to be on it all the time and be prepared to change schedule as those kids can need you at anytime.

sat and sun ride 4 hours sat 3 hours sun

run 5 times a week, morning before anyone gets up, long run wednesday

samrt trainer is your friend, two zwift sessions at night, or move the run to a lunch if you can and get some more morning

Then the evil of triathlon and kids is that its hard to swim a lot, 2 squads and then see if you can get a swim in the weekend

And very dependant on what your spouse is available or prepared to do with the kids to allow for that. 

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Can’t do it buddy. I always worked shift work from the day I left school and don’t need much sleep, so was blessed re training in the AM when work didn’t dictate being some where else.

You’d be a selfish prick or hate your family to train at 4.30/ 5am rather then spend time with your family. 

Appreciate serious triathletes might see it different.  

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2 hours ago, Oompa Loompa said:

You’d be a selfish prick or hate your family to train at 4.30/ 5am rather then spend time with your family. 

Really! Whose wife and kids are up at 04:30 in the morning doing stuff!

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13 hours ago, trinube said:

Some of the happiest people I've ever met have had the least money.

The richest person is not necessarily the one who has the most, it can also be the person who needs the least.  I'm definitely not rich, but I'm happy!

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13 hours ago, trinube said:

Nope. Some of the happiest people I've ever met have had the least money. Virtually all of them value family over everything else. Maybe it's because they don't live in rich, white, capitalistic cultures who value things over people.

Rubbish. I bet these people aren’t entering Triathlons that have ridiculous entry fees and have the best and latest bikes etc. Let alone travel to races.

Also re-read Ex’s post.

Ps: your original post and my post are the same.....family then Triathlon. I just added work in front of both as work facilitates the next two........being family and triathlon.

 

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5 minutes ago, Go Easy said:

The richest person is not necessarily the one who has the most, it can also be the person who needs the least.  I'm definitely not rich, but I'm happy!

And this is very true too. I too am not rich........! That is why I work :)

Define rich...... rich is many things to different people.

Edited by IronmanFoz
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15 hours ago, TriDad...Tri said:

Question: How do you balance getting back into triathlon training and racing (somewhat seriously) with having two kids under 5 and maintaining some sort of positive adult relationship with my wife? 

Very, very carefully...   :unsure:.

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8 hours ago, IronmanFoz said:

Rubbish. I bet these people aren’t entering Triathlons that have ridiculous entry fees and have the best and latest bikes etc. Let alone travel to races.

Oh yeah it's rubbish. How amazing to believe people can be happy without the newest bike and entering triathlons. If you're judging happiness by your next race and your current bike you have a pretty shallow life.

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13 hours ago, Turts said:

And very dependant on what your spouse is available or prepared to do with the kids to allow for that. 

It does require supporting each other. Lucky that my wife does. Setting the week up with rides on the Sat and Sun with the long run in the mid week, makes it doable. The other runs and bikes can be fit around work and other mornings.

As said above swimming is the hardest to be consistent with

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7 minutes ago, Bored@work said:

I hate it when Peter talks sense.

You guys just find reasons to not do the work. 

We have a guy with two kids works as a surgeon gets to Kona has the right mind set it’s all mental

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21 hours ago, pieman said:

 

Otherwise there's a top coach in Brisbane (online also) who'll have you Kona qualifying,  being CEO of a top company while being superdad and husband of the year.. look him up!

Sounds awesome. I’ll be sure to look him up if I ever start racing again.

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Do you all work monday to Friday jobs 9-5

i see a lot of “get up early 0430” do a session before work, 0430 and I’m getting ready for work, too late to train by then 

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On 05/10/2019 at 7:30 AM, TriDad...Tri said:

Question: How do you balance getting back into triathlon training and racing (somewhat seriously) with having two kids under 5 and maintaining some sort of positive adult relationship with my wife? 

You called? I got this.

Im never going to KQ or win my age group. But I have managed to race Ironman, work full time, study and raise a beautiful daughter and have a positive relationship with my wife. I have also been in the sport for about 15 years now. I think the ppl who can manage the above & still KQ soon burn out or one of the above gets neglected.

1- know what u want from the sport. (Somewhat seriously) can be as simple as improving

2 - talk to your wife, find out what she wants. See if there is anything she wants to do. Work out a balance. 

3 get a coach who isn’t a dick. Tell them the time u have available & what u want to do. It will cost you,  but you will be making the best use of your time. It’s also another thing u dont have to worry about. 

4 let your wife see the training plan. Send her a copy. Post it on the fridge. 

5 tell your coach about family events, special occasions etc. They will then schedule sessions so your home in time for birthdays etc

6 don’t talk about triathlon all the time

7 plan a family event after your event

8 avoid listening to wankers who are all about going fast & having the latest gear. In my experience they will be single or no longer in the sport in a couple of years

9 it’s ok to miss a session & spend time with the family. Let them know u have missed a session. Not to make them feel guilty, but to let them know u priorities them over a hobby.

10 have fun 

11 eat the donut 

 

 

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15 minutes ago, KieranR said:

Do you all work monday to Friday jobs 9-5

i see a lot of “get up early 0430” do a session before work, 0430 and I’m getting ready for work, too late to train by then 

Yep exactly 9-5 is easy for me especially with a 3km commute to work. 

Chuck in a few 12hr days & im screwed. I have been working 60hr weeks on my current project & just trying to fit my riding in has been a pain.

I’m currently at work (escorting contractors) & I have set my bike up so I can get some training done. 

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1 hour ago, BarryBevan said:

You guys just find reasons to not do the work. 

We have a guy with two kids works as a surgeon gets to Kona has the right mind set it’s all mental

If you want to do something you will find away. If you don’t want to do it, you will find an excuse.

I found a way to find balance & still enjoy everything in life. 

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13 hours ago, IronmanFoz said:

Really! Whose wife and kids are up at 04:30 in the morning doing stuff!

Apols, appreciate some people do one minute sessions at 4.30a. Lol

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2 hours ago, BarryBevan said:

You guys just find reasons to not do the work. 

We have a guy with two kids works as a surgeon gets to Kona has the right mind set it’s all mental

10 Ironman. 38 half ironman. 

I dont need excuses.   

Get back to me when you catch up. 

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4 hours ago, trinube said:

Oh yeah it's rubbish. How amazing to believe people can be happy without the newest bike and entering triathlons. If you're judging happiness by your next race and your current bike you have a pretty shallow life.

Not sure I agree with this.   When your sitting at the coffee shop, and  see someone in Lycra and with a new Giant, the entire table can start laughing at them... that’s a lot of happy people getting joy through someone’s new bike.....

 

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2 minutes ago, Peter said:

10 Ironman. 38 half ironman. 

I dont need excuses.   

Get back to me when you catch up. 

You are a machine.  Should tell him you smashed Kona too, the pinnacle of our sport. 

 

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4 minutes ago, Peter said:

10 Ironman. 38 half ironman. 

I dont need excuses.   

Get back to me when you catch up. 

Also can you just add them together and say you did 29 Ironman’s or do you have split them. 

Maybe we should have someone with an M dot corporate brand tattoo on them answer that, ie someone with skin in the game. 

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18 minutes ago, Oompa Loompa said:

You are a machine.  Should tell him you smashed Kona too, the pinnacle of our sport. 

 

Kona smashed me.  Horrible race. 

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3 minutes ago, Peter said:

Kona smashed me.  Horrible race. 

Lol.. you still did it buddy, you still did it. They can’t take that away from you. 

You climbed the mountain, you conquered the pinnacle of our sport. You did what Dave Scott and Mark Allen did. You dwell in the same room of achievement as them, you are an Ironman, 

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32 minutes ago, Peter said:

10 Ironman. 38 half ironman. 

I dont need excuses.   

Get back to me when you catch up. 

Did you do mount neebo in the rain

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Can you swap some of your commute to a training session?, I used to do a 50 min run which was 30 min of train commute, so only added 20 min to the travel.

Make your day off in the weekend to increase family time.

these were a couple of things i have done to reduce impact on family

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Learn to get up really (really) early for one session, see if you can get the other in at lunch or as the comute home (do not come home from work then head out for training),l

get a running pram / bike trailer etc (this is for their benifit not yours),

suck up the performance drop,

forget about ironman for 15 years,

Happy Wife, Happy Life :)

remember taking the kids to see their grandparentrs is more important than training.

(don't do any uni courses on top of family/work/training).

Our four are now adults and don't hate me (too much).

 

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8 hours ago, BarryBevan said:

You guys just find reasons to not do the work. 

We have a guy with two kids works as a surgeon gets to Kona has the right mind set it’s all mental

It would be interesting to hear how much his wife/partner did at home so he could do this. Bed time stories, bath time, meal time, homework, school pick up, drop off etc etc. All these need to be done for those kids by someone. Genuine comment, Im not being a smart arse 

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10 minutes ago, Surfer said:

It would be interesting to hear how much his wife/partner did at home so he could do this. Bed time stories, bath time, meal time, homework, school pick up, drop off etc etc. All these need to be done for those kids by someone. Genuine comment, Im not being a smart arse 

Don’t mention the war..... lol

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I'm now playing this game too, with a 3 month old... any expectations and plans have gone out of the window! Had a spot for Nice 70.3 and travel plans booked etc, but the reality and practicality of long-haul trip (to say nothing of attempting to train for the race) meant that was swiftly abandoned - but for us, that was the easiest and most sensible decision we could have made...

So, reality for me now is trying to get a couple of Zwifts in a week, parkrun if I can and swims during lunch from work. As someone else mentioned, turning the trip to / from work in to a run is proving the best use of my time with least impact on anyone else! Taking it in to turns to do a zwift or a parkrun with the other half and making sure we both get some sports / active time is the current plan as well...

Fingers crossed 🙂

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12 hours ago, BarryBevan said:

You guys just find reasons to not do the work. 

We have a guy with two kids works as a surgeon gets to Kona has the right mind set it’s all mental

Not sure if you're being serious, but anyway rate of male suicide in Australia has sky rocketed in the last 10 years. Maybe he and others are coping with the load, maybe they're not. You got to take of the body and the mind. And it's not a case of people unable to train, work and KQ, it's the concern they have for their mental health as well as the health of their marriage, their relationship with their kids etc. 

Edited by zed
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12 hours ago, more said:

Haven't we already been through this? 

Yep but the poster is new to the forum. I’m more than happy to go over it again & try to help him out. 

Unless it’s my old mate just using a troll account.

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