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trilobite

Spouses’ attitudes to triathlon

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My wife leaves for work at 7.15am and gets home at 5.50pm. 

Of an evening spends time with our child from 5.50 to 730 bedtime and then we have dinner etc... 

it would be impossible for her to Train for an Ironman even getting up at 5am. 

And still have a family life and get sleep. 

She can’t run or ride to work given her job. 

My conclusion is that people that work long hours and have a family and do ironman are extremely selfish at the expense of their family.  

You only get to spend time with your kids once and my god they grow up fast. 

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19 hours ago, roxii said:

My wife was awesome all through my tri racing and training.

Mine also... very supportive.  She reckons I'm a much nicer person to live with when I'm training & racing.  Plus, it's a great excuse to go places.

But I think my recent 'seizure' may have just scared the crap out of her, so I'm expecting that my training will be a no go for a little while.  She always complains that I never do adequate training before taking on big events - maybe it's time I listened to her!

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My hubby liked the sleep in's when I would get up early and train -- then he started riding with me for part of my training -- then all of my rides. Then he started swimming with me and then running...now he does just about everything with me. 

Now 12 years later from when I started,   and he is lining up in Cairns for his 4th Ironman.

 

He starts work at 7am and works 10 hour days -- so we get up at 4am most mornings and finish by 6.30am at the latest

 

 

Edited by Youngy2
missed last paragraph
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6 hours ago, trilobite said:

Unless I’m mistaken about IP’s circumstances, before he can get to bed around 9pm I don’t think he has to contend with a 5pm (or later) work finish, significant commute time and getting involved with homework.

In fact, I would love to hear if anyone with that “fact pattern” in their life finds a 4:xxam training start time consistently works for them?

We need @Cranky to chime in here!  Or Daz!

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We're a couple with no kids, I don't think he cares about the 70.3 training, or at least he has not told me! Should not matter anyway, just need to make sure apartment is clean, the cat and us are fed and he gets special cuddles. :w00t2: 

Current +1 has fit right in to all of the triathlon madness, swim, bike, run, cheer, drink. Loves the people, the super human efforts and the sport. (my ex did not seem all that keen on anything!).

I have ditched group sessions as I was either too slow or too fast so wasting time and fuel to get there, do a lot of sessions indoors (using set workouts) so get more out of the time on the bike, and work it all into the calendar somehow.

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5 minutes ago, goughy said:

In fact, I would love to hear if anyone with that “fact pattern” in their life finds a 4:xxam training start time consistently works for them?

My wife and I both get up between 4 and 4.30 every morning - even though she hasn't done a triathlon in around 4-5 yrs she still trains ever day at something - pilates - running - gym - equestrian stuff - it's a lifestyle 

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1 hour ago, AP said:

My wife and I both get up between 4 and 4.30 every morning - even though she hasn't done a triathlon in around 4-5 yrs she still trains ever day at something - pilates - running - gym - equestrian stuff - it's a lifestyle 

But isn't it proven that beyond 80 years old you only need about 4 hours sleep anyway? Any longer and you probably risk not waking up...

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1 hour ago, AP said:

My wife and I both get up between 4 and 4.30 every morning - even though she hasn't done a triathlon in around 4-5 yrs she still trains ever day at something - pilates - running - gym - equestrian stuff - it's a lifestyle 

What time do you go to bed?

1 minute ago, pieman said:

But isn't it proven that beyond 80 years old you only need about 4 hours sleep anyway? Any longer and you probably risk not waking up...

LOL 😂

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14 hours ago, ironpo said:

Very simple fix , to keeping life/train balance , therefore keeping spouse happy 😃 

A get out of bed earlier and be organised 

B do all your rides (or most) on the trainer 

C ditch any group “training” sessions , this frees up sooooo much time , and allows you do get done what u need to get done at a time that suits EG early morning and there is no time lost waiting before and after for that dude that’s allways late . Also no time wasted getting to and from session . It’s all about time management 

D see Point A

Agree with this and will add, live close to work if possible. A short commute makes a huge difference in what you can fit in time wise with training and family stuff. 

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1 hour ago, AP said:

My wife and I both get up between 4 and 4.30 every morning - even though she hasn't done a triathlon in around 4-5 yrs she still trains ever day at something - pilates - running - gym - equestrian stuff - it's a lifestyle 

I thought your kids were long past the stage where you needed to assist them with home-work and read them bed-time stories?

 

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4 minutes ago, Greyman said:

Agree with this and will add, live close to work if possible. A short commute makes a huge difference in what you can fit in time wise with training and family stuff. 

Unless you turn the long commute into a training exercise.

I was always around 25km from work. Most mornings were between 50 & 120km trip to work, or a swim close to home then transition to ride. It's amazing how much difference it made getting used to riding straight out of the pool a couple times a week.

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9 minutes ago, Ex-Hasbeen said:

Unless you turn the long commute into a training exercise.

I was always around 25km from work. Most mornings were between 50 & 120km trip to work, or a swim close to home then transition to ride. It's amazing how much difference it made getting used to riding straight out of the pool a couple times a week.

Now there's an idea. Swim close to home then ride to work. I've been riding 22.5k each way three times a week for the last couple of months and gee I am noticing the difference. Without doing much in terms of running, my running is improving out of sight. I'm struggling to find swim time though. I think swim first then ride to work once or twice a week might work nicely. I am increasing the rides to 4x this week and see how that goes. 

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Does anyone do this who doesn't have the support of their partner?  In particular if you're doing half and IM distance, which I guess involves some bigger trading sessions?

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29 minutes ago, trilobite said:

I thought your kids were long past the stage where you needed to assist them with home-work and read them bed-time stories?

 

Why let facts get in the way of a good story.

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5 minutes ago, Bored@work said:

Why let facts get in the way of a good story.

Over 70 got business to take care off 

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20 minutes ago, goughy said:

Does anyone do this who doesn't have the support of their partner?  In particular if you're doing half and IM distance, which I guess involves some bigger trading sessions?

I did a half with no support. It's not easy, but you make the time work for you. As I've said, make the commute to work a real training session, and do something nearly every lunch break. If they like to sleep in of the weekend, then you can get a long session in before the family gets out of bed. I've done 100km and been home to make my wife a cup of tea as she gets out of bed.

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On 25/05/2019 at 8:17 AM, Shrek said:

I solved the problem and got myself the right spouse 😁

Ex was very un supportive and i would cop grief for going to a bike shop let alone buying something...

One of the last times I visited a bike shop with partner, she firmly informed me "You really need to buy a new bike!"

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14 minutes ago, Katz said:

LOL. He did cite that as the only one I could get without him. 

I've got one from 2008. Might be time to go back and get a few more!

I'm sure with a wig and bit of make-up, you could sneak him into the race.

He'd be like a 21st Century Kathryn Switzer! :unsure:

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On 25/05/2019 at 1:16 PM, Peter said:

Done 10. Good number to stop on. 

 

22 minutes ago, Paul Every said:

Bit late saying that now. :cry:

Haha.  Yes. You can’t even stop at 10 Ironmans in the one location. 

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I got soaked on yesterdays ride. Rode into the garage shoe & helmet off & straight into the shower full clothed. My wife then brought in a clothes basket for my wet dirty gear.  A few minutes later & she brought me in a cup of coffee. Then when I got out there was bacon & eggs on toast waiting for me. 

Yep she supportive. 

Would she be supportive if I started started going to bed at 8:30 & getting up at 4am.......... No king way.

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30 minutes ago, Paul Every said:

I'm sure with a wig and bit of make-up, you could sneak him into the race.

He'd be like a 21st Century Kathryn Switzer! :unsure:

HAHAHAHA, I'm not sure he'd generate the same headlines or for the same kinds of reasons.

And at 6'5, he doesn't really sneak anywhere.

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2 minutes ago, Bored@work said:

I got soaked on yesterdays ride. Rode into the garage shoe & helmet off & straight into the shower full clothed. My wife then brought in a clothes basket for my wet dirty gear.  A few minutes later & she brought me in a cup of coffee. Then when I got out there was bacon & eggs on toast waiting for me. 

Yep she supportive. 

Would she be supportive if I started started going to bed at 8:30 & getting up at 4am.......... No king way.

Did you need the coffee? After your babychino?

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3 minutes ago, Bored@work said:

I got soaked on yesterdays ride. Rode into the garage shoe & helmet off & straight into the shower full clothed. My wife then brought in a clothes basket for my wet dirty gear.  A few minutes later & she brought me in a cup of coffee. Then when I got out there was bacon & eggs on toast waiting for me. 

Yep she supportive. 

Would she be supportive if I started started going to bed at 8:30 & getting up at 4am.......... No king way.

My wife is the same and I do go to bed at 8.30-8.45. (we both do), watch something on Netflix, have a chat then lights out 10 usually. Don't get up at 4.00 though

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16 minutes ago, Katz said:

Did you need the coffee? After your babychino?

For those not on my socials. Stopped at the coffee shop and my asshole mates got me a babycino instead of my standard long black. 

D39F1B8D-8A84-4F81-ACD9-50E601969F64.png

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15 minutes ago, Bored@work said:

For those not on my socials. Stopped at the coffee shop and my asshole mates got me a babycino instead of my standard long black. 

D39F1B8D-8A84-4F81-ACD9-50E601969F64.png

Is that a marshmallow?  I'd be taking that. 👍

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1 hour ago, Ex-Hasbeen said:

Unless you turn the long commute into a training exercise.

I was always around 25km from work. Most mornings were between 50 & 120km trip to work, or a swim close to home then transition to ride. It's amazing how much difference it made getting used to riding straight out of the pool a couple times a week.

Ex, before I got a job closed to home, I used to have a 32km commute to work. I would ride to and from work 4 days a week and drive one day. On the day I drove ( usually a Wednesday) I would swim before work and do a long run after work. On the ride days I would run between 5 and 10km. My riding improved heaps in the three years I did this.

Then the family thing intervened as my daughters swimming achieved state level and I did the dad thing for six years taking her to training and competitions. It was a fantastic thing and I learnt to use the time well in getting some swim training in whole she trained. Fortunately, in this time I also got a job close to home which made all the travel with her to training and to school afterwards very manageable. I even managed to get some decent training done. 

So you can make the most out of any situation if you think laterally and use your time well.

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3 minutes ago, Greyman said:

So you can make the most out of any situation if you think laterally and use your time well.

Yeah, I hate to use one of AP's lines, but you just have to want it enough.

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49 minutes ago, Bored@work said:

I got soaked on yesterdays ride. Rode into the garage shoe & helmet off & straight into the shower full clothed. My wife then brought in a clothes basket for my wet dirty gear.  A few minutes later & she brought me in a cup of coffee. Then when I got out there was bacon & eggs on toast waiting for me. 

Yep she supportive. 

Would she be supportive if I started started going to bed at 8:30 & getting up at 4am.......... No king way.

I need to get me a wife 🤔

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Just now, Surfer said:

I need to get me a wife 🤔

I've been saying the same thing forever! 

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11 hours ago, Bored@work said:

I got soaked on yesterdays ride. Rode into the garage shoe & helmet off & straight into the shower full clothed. My wife then brought in a clothes basket for my wet dirty gear.  A few minutes later & she brought me in a cup of coffee. Then when I got out there was bacon & eggs on toast waiting for me. 

 

11 hours ago, Surfer said:

I need to get me a wife 🤔

I believe that Bored@ is a mormon.  He has 5 wives.

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16 minutes ago, Peter said:

 

I believe that Bored@ is a mormon.  He has 5 wives.

Yeah I agree.

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the early starts with this cooler weather is seriously upsetting my cats.

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I'm fortunate at the moment as no kids and I have a very flexible job which means I can train whenever I want. The wife doesn't understand my enjoyment of triathlon at all but she knows it makes me happy and keeps my mental health in a good place so she's up for it. She is, however, very pleased for us to be able to do things on the weekends again rather than my spending time on the bike.

 

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45 minutes ago, roxii said:

Oh wait,,,,,,, you said Mormon. 

Sorry. 

After my whale joke the score is now 1 all.

Well played sir.

 

 

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12 hours ago, FatPom said:

Is that a marshmallow?  I'd be taking that. 👍

My mate stole it about 5 secs after that photo was taken 

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31 minutes ago, Bored@work said:

My mate stole it about 5 secs after that photo was taken 

I think you need new"mates"

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So you don't want a baby-chino after our swim at Enoggera when you get up here?

 

I'll tee them up for a skinny latte.

Edited by Ex-Hasbeen

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Interesting topic.

My spouse and I seem to have come to an unstated agreement - if we're going to "holiday" with me doing "triathlon" - I'm paying for it all. I think this is probably fair enough. 

Spouse doesn't seem to mind me doing it - though sometimes there is a few heated conversations about me not spending enough time with her...but I guess I just need to be a bit more proactive in planning "us" time :)

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Its pretty simple for me-if I get it all done before anyone wakes up then no one is any the wiser-its as if it never happened. I love spending breakfast time with my family so it works out well-up early, get the session done and then have breakfast with the family and start the day. Perfect.

During the week we typically are in bed by 8pm, asleep by 8:30/9 so early starts arent to much of a problem.

 

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9 minutes ago, more said:

Its pretty simple for me-if I get it all done before anyone wakes up then no one is any the wiser-its as if it never happened. I love spending breakfast time with my family so it works out well-up early, get the session done and then have breakfast with the family and start the day. Perfect.

During the week we typically are in bed by 8pm, asleep by 8:30/9 so early starts arent to much of a problem.

 

My theory was very similar during the last Ironman build, with the deal that one weekend day is 100% family time, no training. Sunday were long ride in the morning. I thought I had done very well to be honest - but now its been a few weeks since Port I have to admit to myself how much more fun Im having with my kids, not down to more time with them, but down the the fact Im not exhausted when Im with them.  I may have been attending family time, but I wasn't fully present.

Im dropping back to 70.3s for a few years, as my kids will be 3 & 5 this year, and they are entering a stage where we are doing far more activities etc on the weekends and I dont want to miss any of that. The new training philosophy is I do 90% of my stuff during the week - long rides on the velodrome  before work, long runs at night,  and Saturday mornings are a park run hit out for pace work, and the rest of the weekend is training free. Im 2 weeks into this now and loving the family time.

The trade off is a lot of 3.30-4.30 alarms, but I was doing that for IM training anyway.

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2 hours ago, Cat Lady said:

the early starts with this cooler weather is seriously upsetting my cats.

You take the cats training with you?

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