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Hit me up with your online dating tips and experiences. 

 

What apps do you recommend? 

Did you persist? 

 

All answers, funny or serious accepted 

 

 

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Totally agree with FP.

My advice is, if you do it, take a really lighthearted approach to it.

However, after IM, I would suggest speed dating. It's a hoot. Gets you out of the house. You get to chat with real people rather than some online persona. I really enjoyed it. 

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My partner and I met online. 3.5 years later and we're engaged and more than happy together. TBH part of my motivation for trying it in the first place was that as a gay person it's a bit hard to just hit on someone in a bar...wayyyyy too much potential for it to go seriously wrong 😂

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6 minutes ago, CarpeDiem said:

My partner and I met online. 3.5 years later and we're engaged and more than happy together. TBH part of my motivation for trying it in the first place was that as a gay person it's a bit hard to just hit on someone in a bar...wayyyyy too much potential for it to go seriously wrong 😂

Cheers mate 

Appreciate it 

 

 

Yeah Katz good idea 👍👍👍

 

Yes FP... Yes..... LOL but but..... 

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Done it a few times and a bit weird at times. Met some interesting people and dated a few for a while. Also some strangers out there, but as long as you see it as a filter and realise that it's only relevant when you first meet, that is the main thing!

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Have done it before. Isn't optimal, but convenient if you are a shift worker.

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I used Tinder many years ago, was hit and miss (no pun intended) but quit after meeting a lady for a morning coffee on a sunday morning after a long run around 10am.  All went fine, i had my dog with me, she fell in love with him (Blue Cattle Dog - named Buck). So after what felt like a 3hr chat and mainly dog pat for her, i paid for the coffee's and food, went to leave and she wouldn't let my dog go.  Said that we should go to the park, so loaded her and dog into my Ute and off to nearest dog park.  Long story short it was 7pm that evening when i finally dropped her back to her car at the now closed coffee shop........ moral here, don;t take pets and have someone lined up to call you if you need an out.......

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Back in the UK I used Plenty of Fish when I was 23 or so. Went on two dates, the first didn't work out very well. The second ended up with me going out with the girl for about 3.5 years... we split up in the end and I met Mrs Monkie through volunteering but the previous was a great relationship for a long time so I would recommend but just as one "channel", hobbies, volunteering and generally getting yourself out there can also work. If you are doing the online thing then my suggestion is to move it to the real world as soon as possible. 

There's a book called "Millions of Women are Waiting to Meet You" that I would highly recommend to anybody (of any gender) thinking about any kind of dating. It's a no holds barred examination of the male psyche in the context of dating. I loved it.

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Tried it once,  supposed to be my rebound to get over an ex-girlfriend I really though was the one, however 13 years of marriage and 3 kids later...

Everyone tells you to be honest, next biggest tip is to take the time before meeting, if they can't string together a bit of correspondence (ie more than yes or no answers), than don't meet them.  Typing is not everyone's cup of tea, but if they can't put a bit of effort in

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Honestly if i ever became single, I'd probably stay single, I'm just not a confident social person at all, so the idea of dating scares me big time.  Good on any of you that do it or have done it after a long term breakup / relationship has failed, I couldn't

Im that much of a social recluse that this weekend im dreading, my wife bought tickets to see the band birds of tokyo (never heard of them) who are coming to Karratha this weekend and I'm fretting about being there with other people..

 

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If you do it seriously, do it after IM. If you just want a physical release, then go for it now. (It had to be said, we all have needs)

My and friends experiences have been a mixed bag. I used Tinder and POF. 

I tried talking a lot to people before meeting, but got bitten by fake profiles, or people who were great on chat, but awful in person, so I then moved to having a chat, then meeting up for a coffee or drink. I had enough of the ghosting, the guys who must have been using female friends to chat on their behalf, and the crazy guys. I even had one who was married (and on disability), and I got a message on the app from his wife to tell me all of this!

I think it was pure luck I met my +1, I was just about to kill off the apps, but I was swiping through during my warmup at the bike studio (training for Port) at 5am and Scotty was online as he was sore from tripping at soccer the night before, so wide awake. He happened to be coming out to Penrith, a coffee turned into lunch, then a walk and talk in the park, then he invited me over to his place to cook for me. Rest is history. He knew I was training for Port as well.

My advice, be sure about what you want (fun or relationship), what you want in a partner and if you are going to reject be nice, and if you are rejected don't go postal. Offering to cook for girls works wonders. 

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33 minutes ago, MissJess said:

.... if you are rejected don't go postal....

Definitely this. There is one I refer to as "Crazy Tinder Guy". It was not cool. Go out with some dignity if it has to happen.

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Katz, I had crazy POF guy. The response was a TLDR (too long didn't read) but he said that in a years time I would be plugged in all my holes.... 😮

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1 minute ago, MissJess said:

Katz, I had crazy POF guy. The response was a TLDR (too long didn't read) but he said that in a years time I would be plugged in all my holes.... 😮

Charming.

Mine just ranted for a couple of days. Eventually I blocked his number. He is a local triathlete though, I see him at races occasionally. He doesn't seem to recognise me though, thankfully. 

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2 hours ago, MissJess said:

Offering to cook for girls works wonders. 

Steamed chicken breast and broccoli is not going to impress them FFF.  Just sayin'...

First rule of dating for anyone should be don't take it too seriously.  Don't set out to find your life (or even just next) partner, just go out and have fun.  If you have to work hard to create the relationship then walk away.  You work together on the relationship once you've established that there's something there and it's good.  That said don't be a dick, not that I think you would.  If something happens and it seems that one of you is moving at a different speed or wants more/less than the other then be upfront about it early.  Trust me, even if you risk losing what you have by being honest that you are in a different place it will still work out okay.  The right person will be patient and you'll eventually catch up (or they will) if there's no pressure.

Katz is on the money with speed dating.  If you take it as a bit of fun and genuinely enjoy meeting people you'll have a great time and might even meet miss right.  My first date with the woman I love lasted five minutes and I knew all I needed to know, that this was someone I could share my life with but not to expect her to share cake in return (or Haigh's Chocolates I have discovered, but I digress.)  Oh and if you do go speed dating dress up and don't engage in conversations about work or your "history".  You don' t have to try to impress to make a good impression.

As for the question of pre or post Ironman?  Just make sure whatever you decide that your focus for every date is having the best experience you can and being respectful.  If you're always grumpy and hard work the day after your long ride/run then organise accordingly.

 

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26 minutes ago, Katz said:

Charming.

Mine just ranted for a couple of days. Eventually I blocked his number. He is a local triathlete though, I see him at races occasionally. He doesn't seem to recognise me though, thankfully. 

Oh he does, sure he does!!  He does the whole ignore you thing, then when you turn away his eyes are fixed in a stare, and then when you turn back he's back to ignoring!  Does he read newspapers with two holes cut out of it, sometimes upsidedown??

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You young people.  

Back in my day (before mobiles, fb, insta, tinder) we had to actually get setup by friends.

 

 

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28 minutes ago, Stikman said:

...(or Haigh's Chocolates I have discovered...

I let you try one.

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tried a few sites and can't say i enjoyed the experience. I did go out with one girl for a year or so and only broke it off due to the distance. Had a few meetings with others and guess i was a bit shocked of how very large they were. Not that i am a perfect specimen. Its just that they didn't look like their brochures/profile. 

So the others are right, you do get some very cruel comments. one girl said i looked like i had a toupee and also that i didn't look fit. So quickly found another photo and changed my appearance description to 'average'  I since quit the site last week. 

It really messes with your head. So i think i will be single for the remainder of my years on this earth. 

 

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1 hour ago, ComfortablyNumb said:

Yup, me too.

Same. Being introverted I don't like crowds, but do very much miss the company of my wife every day!

Even with it being just over two years since she passed away, I'm definitely nowhere near ready to consider another relationship anyway. Just now filling my days keeping  busy till it's my time!

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8 hours ago, MissJess said:

 

My advice, be sure about what you want (fun or relationship), what you want in a partner and if you are going to reject be nice, and if you are rejected don't go postal. 

That advice applies to both genders.

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6 hours ago, Katz said:

Charming.

Mine just ranted for a couple of days. Eventually I blocked his number. He is a local triathlete though, I see him at races occasionally. He doesn't seem to recognise me though, thankfully. 

If you really want to keep stickman away, you better quit posting here. And change your profile pic. 

He might catch on eventually 

 

😉🤣

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8 hours ago, Katz said:

Definitely this. There is one I refer to as "Crazy Tinder Guy". It was not cool. Go out with some dignity if it has to happen.

I had to get someone deported - yes .... DEPORTED - when she started stalking me after I met her in a pub in London!

I mean, set your standards a little higher than me!!!!

So, the story behind this is that she sidles up to me at the bar where I was having a pint after work and reading my book. I was polite, we had a drink and I imparted a bit of information about my life (worked for myself in Hammersmith, worked for a certain company, lived locally) in general chit-chat. She was an Aussie and living in London beyond her Visa allowed her. 30 minutes later and pleasantries exchanged, we went our separate ways.

Next day, my Companies House alert starts getting a whole lot of inquiries made of it and I had my Company registered at my home (big mistake). After a long ride two days later, she turns up at my house and asks if I would sponsor her to stay in the UK ..... fruitcake!

Then she started ringing me at work, following me home, sending emails to my Manager that I got her pregnant, turning up at work ..... in the end, I rang the Home Office and informed them of the overstay and they found her and deported her.....

Scary.  

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Rule of the internet never meet people in real life that you met through the net. Never ever date them , they will try to murder you. Its a bit like uber they are all crazy.

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Long time out of the game.

Tinder type stuff seems to have put a lot of things on FFWD.

A divorced mate has good success with that, even as a 40 something.

If you're in a different town, it can be good for short term company.

 

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7 hours ago, Peter said:

You young people.  

Back in my day (before mobiles, fb, insta, tinder) we had to actually get setup by friends.

 

 

Just make sure they are REALLY your friends that are trying to set you up.

I remember one night in Cairns where some so-called friends tried to help me with that...

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3 hours ago, Rimmer said:

After a long ride two days later, she turns up at my house and asks if I would sponsor her to stay in the UK ..... fruitcake!

...

Scary.  

An Aussie that was desperate to stay in the UK?  Definitely batshit crazy:lol:

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13 hours ago, Katz said:

Definitely this. There is one I refer to as "Crazy Tinder Guy". It was not cool. Go out with some dignity if it has to happen.

I have sisters 

I treat all women I chat to like I'd like my sisters treated 😊👍👍✌️

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42 minutes ago, The Customer said:

Ever noticed how all men describe themselves as 6ft tall and athletic build? 😂

Hahaha 

Not I! LOL 

 

I have been told that I am too nice though...? 😳😳?? 

 

Thanks all. Really appreciate it 

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8 hours ago, The Customer said:

Ever noticed how all men describe themselves as 6ft tall and athletic build? 😂

Errrr, no TC I’m fed women’s profiles not blokes. Though there’s a lot of comments from the ladies around sick of seeing fish, torsos, drugged animals. 

”I love life” always makes me roll my eyes🙄 Compared to what? Of course you do. Who’s going to write “I’m so looking forward to death.”🤣

I recently discovered a podcast by Sami Lukis called Romantically Challenged. For those in the market, it’s entertaining and informative. 

https://www.samilukis.com/author/#0

 

 

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on a positive note I went to a wedding last month for a couple who met on tinder about 5 years ago

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8 hours ago, The Customer said:

Ever noticed how all men describe themselves as 6ft tall and athletic build? 😂

I'd never describe myself like that.

 

I'm 5ft 10, and athletic build.

Professional Darts players are considered athletes, aren't they?

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1 hour ago, Limited said:

on a positive note I went to a wedding last month for a couple who met on tinder about 5 years ago

I've been to 3 of them.  Not one marriage has lasted longer than 18 months.

One even had Tinder on the wedding cake.

(I can't find the photo.  Just spent 10 minutes trawling FB)

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1 hour ago, Limited said:

on a positive note I went to a wedding last month for a couple who met on tinder about 5 years ago

I always thought tinder was a site to find 'very short term like minded' friends?

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I've been to weddings for couples that have met on RSVP, never Tinder, although it seems i may be attending a wedding for friends of my partner that met on Grinder

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Our eldest uses Tinder.  It looks to me mostly like young blokes looking for a bonk.  Things last a few months for her, then he says he does not want anything too serious and it ends.  Still, the blokes she has dated seem like decent guys, though short-term prospects.

Edited by ComfortablyNumb

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On 03/10/2018 at 8:56 AM, KieranR said:

Honestly if i ever became single, I'd probably stay single,

I said the same thing........................ however 4 years after separation, I met my (now) wife.  It's our 4 year anniversary tomorrow.

Technically, even though we had heaps of mutual friends and kinda knew of each other, we actually met online.

My brilliant wife reminds me that regardless of the start and how we met this is a minimum 40 year commitment ;)

I don't really have an issue with that.

Can't add much more than what others have said, except to reiterate that try to take it offline and into "real life" as soon as possible. Seems to sort out any weirdo's nice and early...........

Good luck!

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12 hours ago, The Customer said:

Ever noticed how all men describe themselves as 6ft tall and athletic build? 😂

Yes, then I meet them and they stand next to me and I am like 5" 6-7 and they are same or shorter! 🤣 

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2 hours ago, MissJess said:

Yes, then I meet them and they stand next to me and I am like 5" 6-7 and they are same or shorter! 🤣 

why does it matter?

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5 minutes ago, Prince said:

why does it matter?

Does not matter to me (my partner is the same height as me), but I know some women are heightist, and will only date guys taller than them, and in some cases will only choose those over 6 foot tall. Why lie, you are just wasting your own time on a girl who is clearly too fussy.

Some women had some pretty stringent requirements on their profiles (as shown to me by some guys I had dated). Among the list... no guys shorter than me (height is in the profile), no tradies, no guys from western suburbs, no guys who were only separated, etc.

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1 hour ago, MissJess said:

 

Some women had some pretty stringent requirements on their profiles (as shown to me by some guys I had dated). Among the list... no guys shorter than me (height is in the profile), no tradies, no guys from western suburbs, no guys who were only separated, etc.

wow. i can only understand the height thing if a girl is exceptionally taller than a guy, but not when there is a few inches in it. Its hard enough finding someone nice than worry about things that are too superficial. 

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On ‎3‎/‎10‎/‎2018 at 9:10 AM, MissJess said:

Offering to cook for girls works wonders. 

MissJess is correct

My better 3/4 was treated to marinated lamb backstrap on sweet potato mash followed by swiss chocolate mousse

Hook, line and sinker  B)

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50 minutes ago, IronJimbo said:

MissJess is correct

My better 3/4 was treated to marinated lamb backstrap on sweet potato mash followed by swiss chocolate mousse

Hook, line and sinker  B)

You really are awesome 😎👍

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7 hours ago, ComfortablyNumb said:

Our eldest uses Tinder.  It looks to me mostly like young blokes looking for a bonk.  Things last a few months for her, then he says he does not want anything too serious and it ends.  Still, the blokes she has dated seem like decent guys, though short-term prospects.

Maybe she needs to do this.

 

https://twitter.com/abbygov/status/1046571087545462784?s=21

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