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goughy

I don't understand.......

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Yep, no aggression allowed in my thread about violence!

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2 hours ago, pieman said:

Yeah narrowly avoided having to block someone...

LOL, all good. Should have added some more commentary to explain

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I feel everyones comments with regards to causation and provention on here, in the media, social forums etc all have their own merits.

The book Tribe - by Sebastian Junger is a fascinating read into the inners workings of modern day society and how far removed we are from our evolutionary past.  Opens your eyes to how some basic primal traits left unused can really effect peoples mental states.

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One of my young female staff posted a picture on Facebook including the following quote

"If you're promoting changes to women's behaviour to "prevent" rape, you're really saying "make sure he rapes the other girl"

Discuss

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I dont think the kind of people who commit these sorts of crimes are too affected by social media campaigns or news headlines. 

Saying that we should all be telling each other that "its not OK to rape" is all well and good but Im not sure I associate with anyone who is that way inclined, nor that we move in remotely the same circles so I dont know who I tell, as much as I am willing to. 

So unfortunately all this current, well intentioned protest is probably not hitting or affecting the target market and to that end all you are left with is looking after your personal security. 

I know its not good and I know its not right but neither is trying to undo the damage if the unthinkable is to happen.  I wish the world was a different place, but its not. 

We both have daughters, we live in what should be a "nice" part of the world, but I still know what I will tell Bree about personal safety and there are things I will encourage her not to do and places not to be. 

With years of media bombardment people still drink and drive. And as much as I shouldn't have to, I still look before crossing at a pedestrian crossing.  

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47 minutes ago, Parkside said:

One of my young female staff posted a picture on Facebook including the following quote

"If you're promoting changes to women's behaviour to "prevent" rape, you're really saying "make sure he rapes the other girl"

Discuss

If you lock your house when you go to the shops you're really saying "rob the next door neighbour".

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This is what was said by a detective. 

"My message is that people need to be aware of their own personal security and just be mindful of their surroundings.”

Another policeman echoed that sentiment:

 

“This is an area of high community activity,” said local superintendent David Clayton. “So just make sure you have situational awareness, that you’re aware of your surroundings. If you’ve got a mobile phone carry it and if you’ve got any concerns, call police.”

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26 minutes ago, roxii said:

I dont think the kind of people who commit these sorts of crimes are too affected by social media campaigns or news headlines. 

Saying that we should all be telling each other that "its not OK to rape" is all well and good but Im not sure I associate with anyone who is that way inclined, nor that we move in remotely the same circles so I dont know who I tell, as much as I am willing to. 

So unfortunately all this current, well intentioned protest is probably not hitting or affecting the target market and to that end all you are left with is looking after your personal security. 

I know its not good and I know its not right but neither is trying to undo the damage if the unthinkable is to happen.  I wish the world was a different place, but its not. 

We both have daughters, we live in what should be a "nice" part of the world, but I still know what I will tell Bree about personal safety and there are things I will encourage her not to do and places not to be. 

With years of media bombardment people still drink and drive. And as much as I shouldn't have to, I still look before crossing at a pedestrian crossing.  

Exact replica of a conversation i had with my wife and mother.  Couldnt agree more.

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6 hours ago, roxii said:

I dont think the kind of people who commit these sorts of crimes are too affected by social media campaigns or news headlines. 

No but maybe the young man who sees these sorts of discussions stops making rapey jokes or blaming grog for their antisocial behaviour, and passes this behaviour onto their sons.

 

7 hours ago, roxii said:

Saying that we should all be telling each other that "its not OK to rape" is all well and good but Im not sure I associate with anyone who is that way inclined, nor that we move in remotely the same circles so I dont know who I tell, as much as I am willing to. 

I guess we treat our wives, daughters, retail and hospitality staff etc with respect so young men model that behaviour, and call out when we see people crossing the line we draw in the sand. I know I removed myself from situations with schoolmates and footy mates I wasn't comfortable with, if I showed more guts I would have told them why and that their behaviour was not right. Turning a blind eye is not much better than egging them on.

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14 minutes ago, Parkside said:

I guess we treat our wives, daughters, retail and hospitality staff etc with respect so young men model that behaviour, and call out when we see people crossing the line we draw in the sand.

I saw an email earlier this week from a woman I know resigning from a fairly senior middle management position in an organisation. She made comments about resigning rather than getting a golden handshake, as she didn't want to be gagged. She mentioned that she is that person's 5th female direct report to leave in the last few months, but his management won't listen. It gobsmacked me that there are still people getting away with that these days. I'll probably be shot down for saying it, but I honestly thought we were past it.

And if we're not. Why not!

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31 minutes ago, Ex-Hasbeen said:

I saw an email earlier this week from a woman I know resigning from a fairly senior middle management position in an organisation. She made comments about resigning rather than getting a golden handshake, as she didn't want to be gagged. She mentioned that she is that person's 5th female direct report to leave in the last few months, but his management won't listen. It gobsmacked me that there are still people getting away with that these days. I'll probably be shot down for saying it, but I honestly thought we were past it.

And if we're not. Why not!

I was in a similar position about 20 years ago when I was sexually harassed by my boss (yes, really ... ME!!!!) at a law firm. When it came time to quitting that job, they tried an NDA on me and I told them to go and stick it.

Fast forward 20 years and I have just advised a (male) mate who is in a similar position .... seems we haven't moved on from the caveman! 

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1 hour ago, Ex-Hasbeen said:

I saw an email earlier this week from a woman I know resigning from a fairly senior middle management position in an organisation. She made comments about resigning rather than getting a golden handshake, as she didn't want to be gagged. She mentioned that she is that person's 5th female direct report to leave in the last few months, but his management won't listen. It gobsmacked me that there are still people getting away with that these days. I'll probably be shot down for saying it, but I honestly thought we were past it.

And if we're not. Why not!

It comes down to poor sexual harassment policy possibly and a weak HR.  most organisations should be aware of the potential litigation that will result from such practices. 

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2 hours ago, Prince said:

It comes down to poor sexual harassment policy possibly and a weak HR.  most organisations should be aware of the potential litigation that will result from such practices. 

And the "eyes off the prize" approach by many internal legal functions .... Have been advising my mate recently and am damn sure that the lawyers haven't seen anything of this claim. All being buried until the flash point ....

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There seems to be a focus on women being able to feel safe.  The reality is that incidents of violence against women by people they don't know are relatively rare, dare I say it rarer than violence against men in similar circumstances (but it's probably okay for us to publicly observe that young male victims often contribute to their own situation.)

Women SHOULD feel safe out and about.  People SHOULD feel safe swimming in the ocean.  The fact that they don't has far less to do with what is actually happening and more with the perception created by making more of these situations than really we should.  Driving fifteen minutes to the nearest cafe is a far greater threat to your well-being than violence against women.  This year there have been 409 people killed driving and another 71 as pedestrian deaths that involved in car accidents.  Around 20 deaths a week.

The death of Eurydice Dixon was horrible.  It should never have happened and it should never happen to anyone else, however it wasn't a sign of any bigger problem.

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