Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
A2K

Strange denizens of the office

Recommended Posts

Just read this and I gotta say some of it sounds familiar. I sometimes eat a small tin of tuna on crackers for morning tea and I've had a couple of people complain about the smell. And until recently I had a colleague who sat nearby who didn't so much type as punch the keyboard when he was typing. I didn't report him obviously but I admit it got on my goat a bit.

http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/at-work/i-typed-too-loudly-employees-share-the-pettiest-work-dramas-theyve-ever-been-involved-with/news-story/2f7cbaca0f2cd1a9d1e99a50f0835a2c

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is a strange lady at my work, her desk is near a photocopier/ printer. She doesn't like the noise so wears industrial earmuffs. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, AA7 said:

There is a strange lady at my work, her desk is near a photocopier/ printer. She doesn't like the noise so wears industrial earmuffs. 

AA7, have you seen a “collaborative” open office nowadays. Had completely the reverse effect with most wearing over the ear headphones to drown out the background noise, resulting in more isolation, not less.

Frikken annoying having to throw things at workmates to get their attention. (Not really :rolleyes:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, iFoz said:

headphones to drown out the background noise, resulting in more isolation, not less.

 

I thought my farts were all silent but deadly, sitting at work with noise cancelling head phones on farting my ass off. Then I received an email

"just because you can't hear your farts doesn't mean we can't, BTW I think you better go to the toilet"

We still laugh about it. Now I have my own office and can fart all day long :) 

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1
  • Confused 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have a smart arse work colleague who also has a healthy dose of OCD.  Quite regularly doors mysteriously get open after they were closed, and light switches are suddenly turned on again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
32 minutes ago, Merv said:

Have a smart arse work colleague who also has a healthy dose of OCD.  Quite regularly doors mysteriously get open after they were closed, and light switches are suddenly turned on again.

Just sounds like a teenager.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Bored@work said:

I thought my farts were all silent but deadly, sitting at work with noise cancelling head phones on farting my ass off. Then I received an email

"just because you can't hear your farts doesn't mean we can't, BTW I think you better go to the toilet"

We still laugh about it. Now I have my own office and can fart all day long :) 

More than once I've farted at my desk then seconds later my office crush has come over to talk to me :whistling:

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, A2K said:

More than once I've farted at my desk then seconds later my office crush has come over to talk to me :whistling:

One of the guys at work let a fart go just as the cleaning lady was bending down to empty the bin right next to his ass.  She was really good about it. He was horrified and went bright red. 

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, A2K said:

Just read this and I gotta say some of it sounds familiar. I sometimes eat a small tin of tuna on crackers for morning tea and I've had a couple of people complain about the smell. And until recently I had a colleague who sat nearby who didn't so much type as punch the keyboard when he was typing. I didn't report him obviously but I admit it got on my goat a bit.

http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/at-work/i-typed-too-loudly-employees-share-the-pettiest-work-dramas-theyve-ever-been-involved-with/news-story/2f7cbaca0f2cd1a9d1e99a50f0835a2c

Fish doesn't belong at your desk and there's a special place in hell for the stinky fcukers that whack a five day old mackerel in the microwave.

Luckily, where I work now, there is a dedicated canteen with a bank of microwaves in one building.  I never go in there.:lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can you imagine working in an office in one of the Nordic countries where they love eating old fish. 

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I sit opposite the world's noisiest eater. If you listen carefully I'm sure you could hear him from interstate when he rips the shit out of an apple. I don't know how he does it, I couldn't make that much noise if i tried.  He also smacks his lips together when he eats and more often than not talks with food in his mouth. It's farken disgusting, my kids have better eating habits.

He's also a fat fcuker (I'm talking 20kg+ overweight) and eats way too much processed crap (mostly in annoyingly noisy plastic wrappers) and pretty much has a soft drink every day.

He is also a serial interrupter, I cannot think of a conversation that he hasn't interrupted. Even if the conversation has nothing to do with him, he buts in and has his say. 

He's also pretty much useless at his job. What takes me 1 hour to do takes him 3 on a good day, yet he has a guaranteed job for life (long story).

Rant over, I feel slightly better now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, iFoz said:

AA7, have you seen a “collaborative” open office nowadays. Had completely the reverse effect with most wearing over the ear headphones to drown out the background noise, resulting in more isolation, not less.

Frikken annoying having to throw things at workmates to get their attention. (Not really :rolleyes:)

Yep, all open plan where I work. Except for the important people of course. 

They had a project start last year called 'Accommodation Project'. Redesigned a couple of floors where there are only 'hot desks'. No one can have anything on their desk as it could be used at anyone at any time. You could be at a different desk every day. People were not happy. I guess they have adjusted to it now. Stupid if you ask me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, AA7 said:

Yep, all open plan where I work. Except for the important people of course. 

They had a project start last year called 'Accommodation Project'. Redesigned a couple of floors where there are only 'hot desks'. No one can have anything on their desk as it could be used at anyone at any time. You could be at a different desk every day. People were not happy. I guess they have adjusted to it now. Stupid if you ask me.

Us too. We moved to what they call "Future Way of Working" (FWoW) late last year. There were all sorts of complaints and objections, mainly from the older crankier guys, with comments like "so now you're trying to tell me how I have to work". If it had been me fielding the questions, he'd have got a very blunt answer.

It works ok, and goes well with our flexible working arrangements where most of my team work from home 2 days a week. Really, why do you need a desk for every person when there's normally only 60% of the staff in the office. My only gripe is when you get a very loud "blow-in" turn up for a few days. They can be really annoying to everybody else.

Edited by Ex-Hasbeen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 Things:

Managers that refuse to allow their staff to ever work from home - "How will I know whether they actually work or not?" - That says so much more about the inabilities for the manager than it ever will of the staff.

The second is meeting request replies or more specifically rejections.  I rarely organise meetings and only when required.  I had to organise a meeting with some ICT people in the company and set a time a week in advance for the members required, all of whom know what the meeting is about and it's importance.  One of the F*ckers hit decline - no explanation or 'sorry how about putting it on this time instead' - no just decline so that all of us are inconvienced trying to mind read why you can't string 3 words together or figure out how google mail works.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, Cottoneyes said:

 

Managers that refuse to allow their staff to ever work from home - "How will I know whether they actually work or not?" - That says so much more about the inabilities for the manager than it ever will of the staff.

 

Flexible working arrangements were a big 'selling point' when we were moved to our new building that is all open plan, smaller workstations etc (but they decided against hot desks).

However, the only ones that seem to be able to access these arrangements are senior management. The same management that have onsite or nearby carparks that make it a lot easier to get to work than the rest of us who have been moved miles away from any train or bus station... 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I sit 2desks from a lawyer who sends emails to his secretary asking her to ask me to do stuff for him. 

But 2 minutes earlier we were talking about the comm games marathon. He is a marathon runner. 

I find it weird he just doesn’t ask me. 

Then he probably thinks I’m weird as I reply to his secretary saying I’m onto his request and then never do it. 

Then we have a weird stand off where he doesn’t ask but knows I know, and I just ignore his request. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, A2K said:

Can you imagine working in an office in one of the Nordic countries where they love eating old fish. 

Don't have to imagine. I've spent a good of time working for a Swedish company in their Stockholm HQ, yes and guess what, they don't have fish in the office their either. B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We have a 100% hot desk at work and a 1 day a week WFH. It works well except with express permission, we are not allowed to WFH Mon or Fri. Makes it awkward for me to go to Somerset with the family as I work 50kms from home but that's minor.

Mrs FP used to work for McLaren. They have an ultra strict 'no food or drink at desk' policy. You are allowed one 500ml bottle of water and all the bottles were the same. She said it worked very well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
58 minutes ago, FatPom said:

 

Mrs FP used to work for McLaren. They have an ultra strict 'no food or drink at desk' policy. You are allowed one 500ml bottle of water and all the bottles were the same. She said it worked very well.

We don't go that far, but when the new building was in construction a selection of representatives from the different teams came together to formulate the 'culture' they wanted in the new building.  Top the the list was no eating at the desks.  The owner is very big on work life balance so the rule has been enforced from day one and it is very rare to see anyone eating anything at their desks.  The eating / canteen area is actually really nice, with inside and outside areas and quite large so no one has to battle for tables or seats.

You're allowed any water bottle you want on your desk though.  I had one of those 2 litre big jobs until the day the seam on it split with it 3/4 full while drinking from it - end result was a saturated shirt front.  I'm back to a 750ml bottle that gets filled twice a day now

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We have a strict no eating at desk policy as well, though they have made a couple of quiet areas in the lunch room where you can take your laptop & eat if you have to do a meeting during your lunch break.

As far as the WFH policy, I really can't fault Telstra. Senior Management takes a very dim light on any managers not allowing staff that can do their job at home work at least 1 day a week there. In my team, my staff work at home from 1 day (the guy lives in the CBD anyway) to 3 days (lives on the Gold Coast) a week, and during the Commonwealth Games, he worked the whole 2 weeks from home. The added benefit is that any of the team that have a bit of a cold can work at home (if they feel up to it) rather than come in to work and infect the rest of us. Sick leave has noticeably dropped, and measured output has improved. I would never work in an office only environment again.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jesus, what a can of worms here .... I saw the article and it started bringing up all of the strange people and their habits I have had to work with: - 

  • "Gary" and "Stafford" - two blokes in their 60s who worked together for 40 years and lived around the corner from each other. They were great mates, but wouldn't talk to each other outside work, even though they caught the same train to work!
  • "Jim" - a Manager who used to openly scratch himself before he'd go for a wee and tell his female staff-member .... "Liz, I'm off for a slash!". Pig of a bloke! Once took a swing at me in the Office;
  • "Frank" - his Office was like a Dutch Oven. Enough said;
  • "James" - would go for a sleep under his desk at lunchtime;
  • "Simon" - had a 15 minute, recurring, daily meeting in his diary for "Morning Tea.... Yum, Yum!". If you were in the middle of a meeting, he would turn around in his chair and eat his snacks and then expect that the meeting resume 15 minutes later. He also bought up all of the old Telecom Staff uniforms from the early 1980s from General Stores and was still wearing them in 2004!
  • "Pradeep" - used to bring all of the ingredients for a curry and make it in the communal kitchen ... like a MasterChef episode crossed with a Chernobyl-type leak;
  • "Hiren" - would sit at his desk and cough without making any attempt to cover his mouth or contain the bird flu that would emanate from him;
  • "Jackie" and "Bernice" - two female colleagues who would, openly discuss their horizontal exploits .... I overheard some really, really base stuff from them; and
  • "Trevor" - a bloke who would get his collection of magazines delivered to the Office as .... "If my wife knew what I was in to ... there'd be hell to pay ... hahahahahaha". Fool forgot to change his address after he was made redundant and the stuff kept arriving!

In my view, fish, curries and other toxic substances are a definite no. Personal discussions are also out of bounds ... find somewhere private. Just be normal. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Ex-Hasbeen said:

We have a strict no eating at desk policy as well, though they have made a couple of quiet areas in the lunch room where you can take your laptop & eat if you have to do a meeting during your lunch break.

As far as the WFH policy, I really can't fault Telstra. Senior Management takes a very dim light on any managers not allowing staff that can do their job at home work at least 1 day a week there. In my team, my staff work at home from 1 day (the guy lives in the CBD anyway) to 3 days (lives on the Gold Coast) a week, and during the Commonwealth Games, he worked the whole 2 weeks from home. The added benefit is that any of the team that have a bit of a cold can work at home (if they feel up to it) rather than come in to work and infect the rest of us. Sick leave has noticeably dropped, and measured output has improved. I would never work in an office only environment again.

As per my earlier post, I work in London and live in Dublin on weekends. I actually love coming into the Office as it gives me some contact with people and allows interaction. WFH in Dublin is great, but the dog will hound me (get it?) for throwing the ball for her and I can't resist and the wife always gives me a pile of jobs to do as she can't WFH. I end up spending 12 hour days for things that should take 7!

It's occasionally nice, but is often abused.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We have a coffee machine at work and some people still choose to drink the Nescafe Blend 43. What is wrong with these people. How bad is out HR to employee these weirdos.

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We had a call with our relationship manager with the bank in Taiwan late last year about issues we were having with their online banking.  We got 15 minutes into the call and the guy just says - "Look, it's my lunchtime, I'll call you back in an hour".  Very serious that he needed to take his lunch break right then and there with nothing resolved

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×