Jump to content
Go Easy

Regrets - Do you have any?

Recommended Posts

I have no regrets but a couple of what ifs 

The first one was stopping triathlons when I was just starting to knock off and be competitive against the big boys at the time a few more race smarts and I think I could’ve kicked on one of my last races I went head to head with Lessing and Amos who were current 1 2 in the world got pipped was sitting in the top five of the French gp etc

but my heart wasn’t in it at the time so it turned out brilliantly my girlfriend at the time who I met in the gold coast whilst training with Col ( bloody nervous as telling him I’m moving back to Sydney to chase the girl of my dreams)is now my wife we have 3 great kids I’ve left the city and stoped chasing the dollars for a simpler life and spend way more time with the kids before they brush me.

so definitely no regret because of how it turned out.

the other one I often think of is not doing a couple of full seasons in indo surfing in the mid 90,s it definitely wouldn’t of been as quite as the 80,s but gezzus it would have been good ..... but if I did that I wouldn’t have lived in France and travel the wirld racing etc so all good I definitely don’t dwell in it

i really enjoyed watching the boys over the years kick on and dedicate themselves to racing and gaining world titles and Olympic medals and teams etc they deserve it for all the hard years before hand .that not many people know about , eg sleeping in the back of a van across the seats with Beven Docherty and Crowie to save hotel cost eating a banana and baguette as a staple meal to race and win coin to get to the next race funny times😂 

No REGRETS 

 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Regrets? Yes 

 

Moving from Mackay to Melbourne. It was the decision/discussion that started to end my marriage. 

 

Lessons learnt. 

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, FFF1077 said:

Regrets? Yes 

 

Moving from Mackay to Melbourne. It was the decision/discussion that started to end my marriage. 

 

Lessons learnt. 

Don't talk to your wife?  :lol:

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My regret was that I hadn't done anything for work other than boring old IT and and I had no cool stories to tell in the caravan park when I retire.  I changed careers to what I thought was the ultimate dream job, working in a very high profile Government job. 

It didn't work out due to a number of issues including a workplace injury.

Now I'm back in IT and not loving life as I was in my new old career :-(

 

  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 14/04/2018 at 7:28 PM, Go Easy said:

 I also regret some of the choices that I've made in the past, but I try not to dwell on them, just learn from it. 

I regret almost every decision I've made in my life. I try to take the lessons, but I mostly just feel regret.

  • Sad 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Katz said:

I regret almost every decision I've made in my life. I try to take the lessons, but I mostly just feel regret.

It's ok to feel sad or disappointed sometimes in life, but nobody should have to feel that way Katz.  I feel like reaching out and giving you a virtual (old man but non-creepy) hug.  Unless you've cut out a profile pic of your daughter, you're still reasonably young, and still have a lot more living to do and decisions to make.  As others have said on here, it is important to learn from these past regrets to help you make better decisions in the future.

We've got a sign on our wall here that say's...

'Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful'.

Hopefully by the end of your life you'll also be able to sing...

'Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention'.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

not buying that 2 bedroom unit at McMahon's Point (with 180 degree views of the harbour) for $225,000 because we would have had to rewire the ceiling lights.  Decided to go overseas for six weeks instead.....  It was a good trip tho.

  • Haha 3
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, Cat Lady said:

not buying that 2 bedroom unit at McMahon's Point (with 180 degree views of the harbour) for $225,000 because we would have had to rewire the ceiling lights.  Decided to go overseas for six weeks instead.....  It was a good trip tho.

Ouch!!! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Spending as much time training as I did and not giving my wife my undivided attention. What I could give to replay all those times I was too tired to talk... Biggest regret which eats at me often!

  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

- Not paying enough attention at school. (too busy being the class clown)

- Re-financing the home loan to put a pool in

- Wasting the first 8 years of my career at my current job.

- drinking too much and gambling too much

All of the above things I regret but I have made changes to fix them all.

I'm back studying, paying extra off our mortgage, been sober 3 years & don't play the pokies anymore. My career has gone nuts in the last 6 years and I'm now loving my role and the company I work for.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a few regrets. It's mainly about things I could have done and didn't do (but thought at the time I will regret later if I didn't do:D). Most of the regrets are only small - nothing big, so I do not worry about it.

It's funny, one of my bigger regrets I had was around the time I spent with my kids. I worked long hours and played a lot of sport. I thought I did not spend enough time with them. However, I spoke to both my kids and the missus last year about this exact situation. They all said that I gave them all the love, help, direction and support that they needed/wanted - they couldn't have asked for more. I guess sometimes your regrets can be unwarranted.  

On ‎15‎/‎04‎/‎2018 at 8:58 AM, Go Easy said:

I'm just not so sure what to fill the rest of it up with...  time with family, travel & charity work are all obvious options, but I still feel like something's missing.

GE, I have been feeling the same the last few years. I have come to the realisation that I do not live in the moment but treat everything as a process. As an example, when I have friends around, I am ensuring there is enough food/laughter etc then thinking what I am doing the next day (train, mow lawn, get the groceries, what am I cooking for dinner - fitting everything in), then what is happening next week (work, training etc - planning to fit everything in). I am not relaxing and just enjoying the moment but treating ever part of my life as a project (plan, risk assess, keep the objectives ticking over etc). I am trying hard at the moment to enjoy what I do rather than just doing and moving on.

It does take an effort but I am trying to enjoy things more rather than just doing.

FM

 

Edited by Flanman
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/14/2018 at 7:18 PM, Ex-Hasbeen said:

I wish I'd traveled more when I was younger, and with my young family. One's left now and I can't get around like I used to, so that chance is gone.

I agree with this one.  When I finished UNI, I had the chance to travel with the then GF and best mate and his GF to europe.  They went for 4 months and my mate and his wife still talk about it today (24 years later.)  I didn't go because I wanted to use the money to buy a car. 

It took me another 17 years to go and I was only there for 3 weeks.

I also regret not making better investments earlier. Not being a tight arse but being smarter. I bought a unit in Hornsby for $215K about 20 year ago.  I noticed about 6 months ago it sold for 1.3millions.  I didn't need to sell it at the time for 260K, but did because the tentants were farktards and it all got annoying.  And I sold a heap of shares when I did kona in 2011 so we could have a great holiday (which we did, except for the race itself)

But that's about it.  I spend heaps of time with my daughter and wife and love every minute.  I train heaps less as I lost my father early and realised how important family is.  Sport can be done still.  I don;t need to be the best despite what others think. Finishing is okay in events. Not having a family because I need to be training every evening or early morning would suck.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Peter said:

  I don;t need to be the best despite what others think. Finishing is okay in events. Not having a family because I need to be training every evening or early morning would suck.

Agree. I would rather cross the line to a hug from my daughter & wife, than crossing the line to a Kona spot & empty hotel room.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Every time I think of things I’d change or regret I think of where I am and the whole sliding doors thing where anything I may change in the past would change where I ended up, and apart from the whole dodgy hip thing I’m pretty happy where I am. 

The tornado was a regrettable incident but we came out if it in good shape with a house better than we had, are mortgage free,  I’m punching well above my weight with the Mrs, Am thinking about maybe making an offer on a waterfront place here but that may lead to me regretting having a mortgage again....... but the view!!! 

the only thing I currently regret is not being better able to help my son who is doing it real tough with adhd and severe anxiety but we are trying hard. 

 

  • Like 4
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I regret nothing I have ever done .... otherwise I wouldn't have done it at the time. 

But the question is valid. And, as I approach the next age-group in life, I have faced the same thinking. 

At the moment, I live 2 days a week in Ireland and commute to London for work. Mondays are an 0400 start and I finish about 2300. Fridays, I don't get home until midnight. During the course of a year, I will spend 15 and a half days traveling to and from airports. All to live in another country to afford a house I don't live in and away from my wife and the dog. I have to maintain a separate apartment in London and two cars to get around for work. And When I get home at weekends, I am often too knackered to train and just want to crawl up and go to sleep. Also, I know very few people in the country and those I do meet have often found their friendship groups and don't want / need any more friends. And we live in a house that has the insulating properties of Swiss cheese, hasn't been maintained to date, requires 3 days a week of upkeep (I have 2!) and with which I have no great affinity.

Do I regret doing this? Only time will tell. 

  • Sad 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Dalai said:

Spending as much time training as I did and not giving my wife my undivided attention. What I could give to replay all those times I was too tired to talk... Biggest regret which eats at me often!

Judging by the way you talk of your wife you obviously loved her very much.  I can't imagine that you were ever ignorant of her and her needs and I'm sure she must have known how much you loved and cared for her.  I lost my mum suddenly when I was 21, and then my sister to suicide several years later.  I don't think I actually ever told either of them that I loved them even though I loved them both very much.  I now regret not taking the time to tell them how I felt, but as Flanman states above maybe some of our regrets are unwarranted, maybe I didn't need to tell them how I felt because hopefully they already knew.  We can wish we had more time with our loved ones, but I think we also need to be thankful for the time we had.  It was good and that's why we miss it so much.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Rimmer said:

I regret nothing I have ever done .... otherwise I wouldn't have done it at the time. 

But the question is valid. And, as I approach the next age-group in life, I have faced the same thinking. 

At the moment, I live 2 days a week in Ireland and commute to London for work. Mondays are an 0400 start and I finish about 2300. Fridays, I don't get home until midnight. During the course of a year, I will spend 15 and a half days traveling to and from airports. All to live in another country to afford a house I don't live in and away from my wife and the dog. I have to maintain a separate apartment in London and two cars to get around for work. And When I get home at weekends, I am often too knackered to train and just want to crawl up and go to sleep. Also, I know very few people in the country and those I do meet have often found their friendship groups and don't want / need any more friends. And we live in a house that has the insulating properties of Swiss cheese, hasn't been maintained to date, requires 3 days a week of upkeep (I have 2!) and with which I have no great affinity.

Do I regret doing this? Only time will tell. 

A wise man once told me 'you have most of your jigsaw there, it's a just a couple of pieces missing to be the perfect picture, but you'll get them'.

Who was that then? :whistling:

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, Flanman said:

II have come to the realisation that I do not live in the moment but treat everything as a process. As an example, when I have friends around, I am ensuring there is enough food/laughter etc then thinking what I am doing the next day (train, mow lawn, get the groceries, what am I cooking for dinner - fitting everything in), then what is happening next week (work, training etc - planning to fit everything in). I am not relaxing and just enjoying the moment but treating ever part of my life as a project (plan, risk assess, keep the objectives ticking over etc). I am trying hard at the moment to enjoy what I do rather than just doing and moving on.

It does take an effort but I am trying to enjoy things more rather than just doing.

FM

 

I could have written that Mick.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, FatPom said:

A wise man once told me 'you have most of your jigsaw there, it's a just a couple of pieces missing to be the perfect picture, but you'll get them'.

Who was that then? :whistling:

A wise man once told me ... "you can make strawberry jam out of pig sh1t .... but it tastes pretty awful!!!"

My Dad had such a turn of phrase when it suited him!

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Go EasyAgreed that I was fortunate to share 18 years together. Will eventually get back to remembering the pre-cancer days - unfortunately the strongest memories are still that last year and her taking her last breath in my arms.

I often told her I loved her already, but fortunate too in that it wasn't sudden and that it initially responded to the Chemo (was always know being Grade 3 Stage 4 it was only a temporary solution)  as that allowed me to spend every moment of those last 53 weeks from diagnosis with her.

I ended up taking over 16 weeks off as carers leave including two stints living in the hospital room. 2 Weeks while she undertook whole head radiotherapy when it replapsed the first time after Chemo and the last 9 weeks when we tried our last option with self funded dosages of Keytruda... Got to tell her frequently how much I loved her and she was able to reciprocate till those last weeks.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can empathize with that, albeit different circumstances. I took care of my father when he went from diagnosis of Stage-4 melanoma with multiple brain metastases, through whole-brain radio and starting immune-therapy, to last-breath, in just under 10-weeks. Relentlessly overwhelming and devastating are my memories of that, with no time to cope as it shattered every hope and very little comfort in the way of dignity.

  • Like 3
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dalai, whilst I did that with my mum for 4 months (and chemo for 6 years), I cannot imagine it with your soul mate. Sometimes you feel like you wish you hadn't put your heart into someone because it can get broken. However, you will agree that not having those 18 years would have been worse.

Love and heartbreak are two of the strongest human feelings. It tough.

You should be proud and smile with joy as to the times you had a choice to be soul mates. You cannot change the situation you were in at the end but she knew you were there for her and you knew that she loved you.

Mick

  

Edited by Flanman
  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×