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FatPom

Workplace smackdowns

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My new job has quite a few active folks in my dept. Lots of runners and a few cyclists.  Somehow I'm in a position where I have two races with two different colleagues entered.

Race 1:  Winchester 10km Feb 25th, my hometown race but I've not done it before. Up against a guy that can run low 20s for a Park Run. I haven't run a 10km in anger for a while, my last Park Run I went 20.47 but that nearly killed me. I'm nearly 53 and giving 10yrs away on 'the other guy'.

Race 2.  March 24th. The Mumbles Duathlon at Gower Peninsula, Wales (read effin hilly!). 5/31/5. Up against a guy who I think has a similar run ability to the other guy, maybe a bit faster. He's an experienced cyclist but not (as far as I know) a very experienced racer.  He lives in the area and has local knowledge but no TT bike (roadie with clip ons).  I haven't done a duathlon in a while but I do remember they freakin hurt a lot. Giving away 9yrs on this guy.

Any tips? :lol:

Edited by FatPom

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Just do what a lot of triathletes do, start dropping a few comments about little niggles :whistling::rolleyes: This way if you lose, they think you were injured.

Good luck

 

NSF

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Do you have a communal fridge in the office. 

Wiping their lunches down with a sliver of raw chicken in the week prior may give you an edge. 

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Psych them out beforehand. Make sure they know you are going to beat them.

I tried it here once for a HIM. I had a fairly good idea of his abilities. I told him I'd beat him out of the water by 3 minutes, he'd get off the bike 2 minutes ahead of me, then I'd catch him in the run. Those times were pretty much on the numbers, and I got him by nearly 3 minutes in the end. 

He had 15 years on me & it was my first race in 19 years.

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Just now, roxii said:

Do you have a communal fridge in the office. 

Wiping their lunches down with a sliver of raw chicken in the week prior may give you an edge. 

Thinking outside of the (lunch)box. Nice.B)

 

Crazy thing is, I'm servicing the guy's bike this week (do you think he'll notice a handful of grit in the BB?) :whistling:

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2 minutes ago, A2K said:

Are there any toilets on the course? 

ah, the Robson manoeuvre B)

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My tips:

Get up at 3am

Leave the phone in the kitchen

Worming tablets

2 x meat pies

2 x glasses of red wine

cut dairy

buy some of those Ceramic speed jockey wheels & wax chain

walk around the office wearing Ironman finishers gear

Post more on instagram with inspirational quotes about Kona & being blessed.

 

Looking at the above times, age gap. I think you should steer clear of all smack talk until after the race.

 

 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, Bored@work said:

 

Looking at the above times, age gap. I think you should steer clear of all smack talk until after the race.

 

My basic plan is to arrive at the office the following Monday in a blaze of victorious glory,,,or resign by text. :D

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Just now, Ex-Hasbeen said:

You forgot the beetroot juice.

or, I could slam my nuts in a drawer!  (got kids anyway, so it's not like I need 'em :lol:)

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Beetroot juice is old. 

 

Pickle juice shots 😎🤘

 

 

And I agree with B@W, as much finishers gear as you can wear. And if you get whipped, just use "I'm just using this as part of my training" 👌

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Draft the bike. Re the run sit on them and out sprint them. Let them set the pace. 

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Did we all miss the part where a Fat Pom is running 5km in 20:47?

I'm impressed FP.

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Mention that the are merely sprint races and you are a long course athlete. You are merely doing as interesting training day and you will probably ride to the start and run home. 

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3 hours ago, nealo said:

Did we all miss the part where a Fat Pom is running 5km in 20:47?

I'm impressed FP.

I didn't but was hoping it was a typo. That's farking flying 

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Moves ok for a cripple!

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6 hours ago, nealo said:

Did we all miss the part where a Fat Pom is running 5km in 20:47?

I'm impressed FP.

I'm not sure I can do it again, I could barely walk to the car afterwards. It was the Park Run at Burnham in Somerset, which is flat path but can get very windy ( sea front) Came 21/269 overall and 3/24 AG.

If only I could do that x 2 :lol:

Edited by FatPom
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5 hours ago, Flanman said:

Bet on him - make some money and buy a new bike.

FM

 

The guy in the first race is already talking about sweepstakes on the second race. :blink:

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12 hours ago, FatPom said:

My new job has quite a few active folks in my dept. Lots of runners and a few cyclists.  Somehow I'm in a position where I have two races with two different colleagues entered.

Race 1:  Winchester 10km Feb 25th, my hometown race but I've not done it before. Up against a guy that can run low 20s for a Park Run. I haven't run a 10km in anger for a while, my last Park Run I went 20.47 but that nearly killed me. I'm nearly 53 and giving 10yrs away on 'the other guy'.

Race 2.  March 24th. The Mumbles Duathlon at Gower Peninsula, Wales (read effin hilly!). 5/31/5. Up against a guy who I think has a similar run ability to the other guy, maybe a bit faster. He's an experienced cyclist but not (as far as I know) a very experienced racer.  He lives in the area and has local knowledge but no TT bike (roadie with clip ons).  I haven't done a duathlon in a while but I do remember they freakin hurt a lot. Giving away 9yrs on this guy.

Any tips? :lol:

Keep that age disadvantage in the bag and use it post race if you need to....But I reckon you'll be fine. Go hard FatPom.

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1 hour ago, IronmanFoz said:

Keep that age disadvantage in the bag and use it post race if you need to....But I reckon you'll be fine. Go hard FatPom.

Thanks mate, fingers crossed!

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Take em out the night before and smash them on the beers, throw in a few shots of schnapps and just keep saying to them, one more.  Then tell they have to down a few beers mid race too.  Next level stuff, rather than just doing the race.

Just check if they can drink buckets first or are a triathlete two pot screamer.

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56 minutes ago, Oompa Loompa said:

Take em out the night before and smash them on the beers, throw in a few shots of schnapps and just keep saying to them, one more.  Then tell they have to down a few beers mid race too.  Next level stuff, rather than just doing the race.

Just check if they can drink buckets first or are a triathlete two pot screamer.

This might work if I wasn't a one pot screamer myself :lol:

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Don't talk to people at work about what you do outside of work .... keep your worlds separate! The more you dig into what they do, the more you're like to find out they're into dogging, swapping or are Keith Urban fans!

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