Jump to content
Ex-Hasbeen

Board & Lodging - How much

Recommended Posts

My daughter has just decided teaching isn't her go, so has dropped out of uni. She is currently looking (supposedly) for a full time job to turn into a career, but is working near full time at a local fish n chip shop. She is getting between $400 and $650 per week. She was told all along that we would support her while she was at uni, but once she left she would have to pay board.

 

So, the question: How much is reasonable for board? When I started work 30 years ago I was paying $50 per week, and was getting about the same dollars as she is now. My thought is $50/week.

Edited by Ex-Hasbeen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What area? How old is she?

 

And what do you mean? She will pay her rent...the $50 is to fulfill your promise.

Edited by kamalarrowsmith

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She will pay you, I guess that's what you mean.

 

Hmmm, if it's me and she's under my roof. I make it free if she's a teenager. I understand she's working, but that's relieving you because she's still in school.

 

If she's an adult, I charge more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

$50 per week.

 

When you look at what she gets for it, it's a bargain, but then she's family, and you do what you can to look after them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have 2 adult daughters but I was never in that position.

 

Looking at the situation, I give it free for 6 months, then I charge. $50/week off what she's currently earning.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

$50 per week.

 

When you look at what she gets for it, it's a bargain, but then she's family, and you do what you can to look after them.

 

It is a lesson for life though. $30-$50 is enough.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

23 YO son has dropped out of TAFE, following dropping out of Uni. He is embarking on the job search process, compounded in difficulty by aforementioned dropping out plus Aspergers. At least Centrelink has got him hooked up with a disability employment agency as of today.

 

As soon as he gets income we will most certainly be charging him rent, just because it's good for him, and we'll stop running his car. I suspect that we will bank it away as a second string compulsory savings for when he really does leave the nest.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

23 YO son has dropped out of TAFE, following dropping out of Uni. He is embarking on the job search process, compounded in difficulty by aforementioned dropping out plus Aspergers. At least Centrelink has got him hooked up with a disability employment agency as of today.

 

As soon as he gets income we will most certainly be charging him rent, just because it's good for him, and we'll stop running his car. I suspect that we will bank it away as a second string compulsory savings for when he really does leave the nest.

I was planning on banking this separately as well. Due to her leaving study we get less tax benefit, but if we don't need to draw on it it will become something we can give back later to help with a house deposit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd charge $100 but put $50 in an account that will be given back to her when she really needs it.

 

For example gets a job and needs to buy good clothes Wouldn't tell her about it.

 

It's so much cheaper than her moving out with someone but will still sting a bit that she might consider going back to uni.

 

I know too many people that drop out of uni and regret it later in life.

 

Having said that I did computer science and it was a waste of time. Nothing I learnt is still in play these days.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd do what tortoise said - collect the $50 to develop good habits and bank it away for a nest-egg later.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Peter, make it $100 and bank $50 of it (secretly). $50 is nothing and she will have no appreciation of what things actually cost. Does she pay her own phone bill at least?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

150 a week. Spend it on beer and kfc.

 

She gets room, internet, food and bills. Its a bargain. When she cries tell her to find somewhere cheaper, then when she comes back begging to stay up it to 200.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Peter, make it $100 and bank $50 of it (secretly). $50 is nothing and she will have no appreciation of what things actually cost. Does she pay her own phone bill at least?

Yep, I paid her basic phone bill up till now, but she paid any extra if she went over on data etc. She paid the lot from this month's bill though. She just bought a car this week as well. We were going to cover running costs, but they're also all hers now. Till now, she's just wasted all her money, and the only way she had enough to buy the car was that I was syphoning money out of her pay account into a savings one that she couldn't get at.

 

 

It's so much cheaper than her moving out with someone but will still sting a bit that she might consider going back to uni.

 

I know too many people that drop out of uni and regret it later in life.

 

Having said that I did computer science and it was a waste of time. Nothing I learnt is still in play these days.

 

 

I don't want to push her back to uni to do teaching if she really doesn't want to do it. Hell, I dropped out of teaching after 2 years when I left school. Maybe it's hereditary. Best thing I ever did for my career (and sanity) was my Engineering degree later on while I was working. Maybe that's what she needs to do, but she first needs to get that real job that she can grow into, or at least start off in. Other than a lack of common sense, she's too smart to spend her life in a fish & chip shop.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ex Hasbeen. Talking again as a father of 2 girls, and applying my experience back to you.

 

A kid who is working and having the luxury of living at home might not pick up on accountability, as long as the parents will cover the extras, like the excess on the CP. I did that when my daughter was first at college and she was quite a bit further away. I got her a laptop (for school) and a CP, personal, and I figure the kid will keep in touch with me. And I will pay the bill on the CP and at that time gave her $300/month pocket money. The plan was $39.99, the first month she gave me a $270 (US Dollars) excess. Of course she didn't really understand CP's and of course I read her the riot act. So thereafter she did better and this continued for the first year of school. She did have a scholarship, but I paid the Dorm inc food and the pocket money. Second year I was tipped off she was getting free food so I decided to cut the $300 pocket money. She told me "Daddy I'm already working part time, I don't actually need it". Although we had a few issues, she suddenly worked things out. Later on she was working and went through a Masters program, no help from me.

 

Now like with your girl. She's getting free room and board and free everything, and she has a sort of minimum wage salary, to work with and work things out on her own. Now if you take her money, and bank it. Yet still offer help with other things like the CP etc...you are still exerting a form of control eg you take her board payment and bank it and she doesn't know, but you still assist her in so many ways.

 

My contribution is free room and board. Now the other stuff she works out for herself. She takes the accountability and you don't bail her out except in dire emergency/crisis.

Edited by kamalarrowsmith

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Having said that I did computer science and it was a waste of time. Nothing I learnt is still in play these days.

 

Peter, but we studied logic and methodology that can be applied to current work practices. Well that is what I tell the younger generation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Id make it a token $50 and get her to do ALL the jobs around the house. Give the wife some time off and each time your Daughter fails to do the tasks then add $10 to the weekly board. The price will determine how much she does around the house. Kinda like how a financial market works. If $50 is too much then she will do all the jobs without fail.

 

Lawn mowing, dishes, washing, cleaning, car washing, dusting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That would be controlling and forcing her to do things. It sounds good, but I disagree.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you got any work for her at home, until she finds a real job?

 

I was planning to give my gap year daughter a choice to paint the house, pay board or move out... The choice may or may not come with a free story beginning with "Back in my day...".

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Id make it a token $50 and get her to do ALL the jobs around the house. Give the wife some time off and each time your Daughter fails to do the tasks then add $10 to the weekly board. The price will determine how much she does around the house. Kinda like how a financial market works. If $50 is too much then she will do all the jobs without fail.

 

Lawn mowing, dishes, washing, cleaning, car washing, dusting.

How will that give the wife time off? :)

 

I might have some time to train though.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of my posts was missing. I wanted to talk about my kids and my experience.

 

My daughter went to college by a scholarship, but I picked up the extras. I paid for Dorm, food, books and gave her pocket money. This was in the USA and I paid airfares from time to time.

 

I got her a new laptop for school, and a CP (personal, with a plan), $39.99 a month I think. $300 (US Dollars)/month pocket money. I was a manager, but started pulling some overtime as an ER nurse on the weekend, to cover the extra. The first month she gave me a $270 excess on the CP, and I read her the riot act. Of course she really didn't understand CP's and had been in a private school her whole life, so she did need some time to adjust. We had a few other issues along the way, money related. Then in her second year I was tipped off that she was getting free food. So I called her up and said, honey, sorry I'm stopping your pocket money, she said "Ok Daddy, no problem, I'm already working part time, I can manage". She seemed to have got it. She messed up one class and by arrangement ex scholarship I paid for some extra tuition and a retake of the course,$3000. By and by and down the line she gradually got the message. She eventually went for a Masters and paid that herself.

 

As I was saying above, or will say now. By getting a small token rental and banking it you are still controlling her. And by covering her excess on CP etc you don't allow her to get with the program.

 

I would give free room and board. Then off her earnings she covers everything herself, and I don't put in even a penny unless it's dire emergency, not just because she can't manage. Minimum wage all expenses paid is good money, she should manage on that.

Edited by kamalarrowsmith

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While she was at Uni, I was doing pretty much as above. Everything was free at home, I gave her a mobile phone (though she paid anything above the standard plan costs), I paid her transport costs, and we bought her clothes. She was earning about $200/wk, so that was her spending money.

Since she decided to throw it in, that's all gone. She'll be paying phone, transport (car costs), and board to be determined that will cover everything she used to get at home bar the clothes. With $500+/wk, I think it's time she learnt that money doesn't grow on trees, and you can't just pick some more to get you through to payday.

First lesson: I haven't yet taken any board, and she has $16 left to get through to Thursday. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Does she come home at night?

 

And I know we are in 2015, not back in the dark ages.

 

I like the topic because it takes me back a bit. My wife cracked the whip and they feared her, but from age 18 they were both away. Rightfully or wrongfully they had a Christian upbringing, and then predictably they detached themselves from the church (2 girls, currently 25 and 28), but I noticed they followed certain principles up to now. They don't tell me what they do, but by carefully watching the Internet I see some of it. Both with degrees, both successful. Now retrospectively, I think it was a hard but fair discipline young age up to 18 which helped. A top private school put them in some high academic company...again that could have backfired, because they were in with richer kids. We were lucky with it.

 

I think the bail out is the thing a kid will use as long as she knows one of the parents might be willing to help. Importantly both parents have to be on the same page all the time.

 

Problem No.1...of a long list. She is not going to tell you how she ran her money down to $16..but she spent it in some way, right?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is one of the few times Peter actually has something intelligent to say.

 

I'm going to put this in my signature to haunt you for life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is this your only child? If not think about sibling "rivalry"

 

My sisters thought the other got a much better deal, one stayed home and didn't do uni and was going to take over the family farm in time, the other one did with a "loan" from my parents while studying medicine at uni. I got the same deal with uni but dropped out as well after 2 years.

 

Both my sisters at times bring up how the other one got special treatment and occasionally say I got preferential treatment as well. Be sure what ever you do will be consistent with the other children and won't be viewed as a benefit that the others aren't going to get.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The other is only starting HS now, so 7 years difference. There's a lot can change between now & then, but I hear where you're coming from. My brother keeps saying I got favoured treatment because I was the only one out of 4 that went through to senior. The rest all got out during or after grade 10.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

way too many teenagers I know pay zip !!

 

25% is fair ...pretty hard to argue that...

 

sit down and do the sums on the alternative !! :smile1: she will beg you to take her $100 !!

 

all depends on your own experiences of course...my 1st pay was $84 and my mum got half ...she didn't have to ask...she somehow fed and clothed me by herself for years...

 

I always like the idea of secretly banking a portion of their board...forced savings plan !!

 

got 2 almost 15 yr old boys and I have already tuned them in !!

Edited by DingoDave
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...