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The Mental Health thread

Mental Health  

307 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you suffer from a mental illness?

    • Yes
      98
    • No
      172
    • Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it
      39
  2. 2. Do you know someone who suffers a mental illness

    • Yes
      250
    • No
      32
    • Don't know but suspect they do
      27


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Glad to hear you are doing what you can.  We don't want to bug or intrude, just remember we are all wishing the best for you.

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Hey @KieranR, I know we've not directly spoken but wanted to say that I've enjoyed your contribution here on Trannies. Keep fighting mate. I am praying for you and your family.

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On ‎3‎/‎05‎/‎2019 at 8:53 AM, Surfer said:

I think a message without a question is a good option such as : "thinking of you" or "take care dude" or " just to let you know Im thinking of you"  etc

Great advice.  I'm not real good at sending PM's or picking up the phone at the best of times, and not knowing what to say or do is part of the problem.  Thanks Surfer!

I've said it before, geez there's some great people on here. :thumbsup:

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As others have said Kieran, check in with Trannies when you can.  Your contributions have been fantastic and we want more of them!

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Well, we've reached peak frustration level with our soon and no longer know what to do with him.  We've struggled for years with him with school and school work, and getting him to do things to help us out.  He's in counseling, had had modified school timetables before, but he's finally reached a point where if he doesn't wanna do something he just flat out refuses.  His last session they'd been discussing using rewards for getting things done, but in the drive home he said he's not doing anything.  Then yesterday he refused to go to his grandparents for mother's Day lunch because it's boring and he didn't want to.  Didn't care less about leaving his mother in tears.  And today he's again refusing to go to school.  I've informed the absentee line that he's refusing to go, and to call me.  But no amount of negotiating send to work anymore.  He won't do a single thing at home, and I'm back again doing every single thing around the house, with rarely help even from my daughter who is wrapped up in school, work and sports.  I'm at the point where he's just gonna have to accept the consequences we've been protecting him from for years with regards to school.  Thing is, he's not a dumb kid.  His marks don't show his intelligence, as his NAPLAN results have really down what he can do.  Every password in the house has been changed.  But short of belting some sense into him I just don't know what to do, and don't have the mindset to handle this anymore. Sorry for the vent.  But my wife won't get up till midday.

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Goughy, don't apologise for the vent. Ever.

I wish I had something constructive to say. I have no idea how I would handle that situation. I'm sorry you're facing it effectively alone.

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1 hour ago, goughy said:

But short of belting some sense into him I just don't know what to do, and don't have the mindset to handle this anymore. 

Is there something medically (and mental illness is medical!!) wrong with him, or is he just being a typical pre-teen/teenager? If the latter, swift kick up the bum should do it, that's what my parents did to me 😂

That's all I have to contribute, I am glad I did not have kids, my DNA does not need to be replicated 😂

Edited by MissJess

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My wife told me he's packing a bag to run away!  I guess we just need to let him try.

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Hey mate, sorry to hear it. 

Not sure if I posted this before but my son has shown a lot of similar signs, but since moving from treating the ADHD (he was the defiant type not the hyperactive type) and moved to treating the anxiety the improvement has been huge. He is a lot more relaxed about a lot of things that had him tied in knots before and seems a lot happier in himself.  

While the schoolwork and other stuff is still a struggle its not a fight to get him to do it. 

 

Good luck mate. 

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2 hours ago, goughy said:

My wife told me he's packing a bag to run away!  I guess we just need to let him try.

Good lord, sounds like my younger sister!

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It didn't last long.  Once he realised we weren't gonna come after him, he came back hungry.  My wife followed him via his phone.

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Perhaps you've got something there Goughy.  Maybe if he's not going to get the reaction/attention he wants he might tone it down a little, though I'm sure that's probably been tried already.  Might be time that he learned about the concept of natural justice.

Can I also suggest that you ensure that your daughter is getting as much or more attention than your son.  Not for anything to do with him.  It's not great for a kid to feel they are missing out no matter how much they try to be the good one and can lead to big issues further down the track.

 

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Goughy, I was going to suggest you make sure you have a way of tracking him. It gives you peace of mind.

Our daughter ran off when she was 14. She was going through a rebelious "EMO" stage, and got in with the wrong crowd. I was able to keep track of her on the phone. 9 years later and she is currently out in the kitchen helping Mum with dinner after going for a walk with her and the dog. She manages the largest Decjuba store in Qld (and is their youngest store manager) and has been the target of other fashion franchises trying to poach her after bringing loss making stores back to profit for a couple different companies. 

Have patience, keep loving them, never give up, and you may yet get a pleasant surprise.

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On 30/04/2019 at 7:52 AM, trinube said:

:( RIP Uncle Rob, a 'good egg' gone.

Sorry to hear. Take care. 

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10 hours ago, goughy said:

Well, we've reached peak frustration level with our soon and no longer know what to do with him.  We've struggled for years with him with school and school work, and getting him to do things to help us out.  He's in counseling, had had modified school timetables before, but he's finally reached a point where if he doesn't wanna do something he just flat out refuses.  His last session they'd been discussing using rewards for getting things done, but in the drive home he said he's not doing anything.  Then yesterday he refused to go to his grandparents for mother's Day lunch because it's boring and he didn't want to.  Didn't care less about leaving his mother in tears.  And today he's again refusing to go to school.  I've informed the absentee line that he's refusing to go, and to call me.  But no amount of negotiating send to work anymore.  He won't do a single thing at home, and I'm back again doing every single thing around the house, with rarely help even from my daughter who is wrapped up in school, work and sports.  I'm at the point where he's just gonna have to accept the consequences we've been protecting him from for years with regards to school.  Thing is, he's not a dumb kid.  His marks don't show his intelligence, as his NAPLAN results have really down what he can do.  Every password in the house has been changed.  But short of belting some sense into him I just don't know what to do, and don't have the mindset to handle this anymore. Sorry for the vent.  But my wife won't get up till midday.

Sorry to hear. Are you seeing someone that you can talk to? They might be able to help you either deal with him or deal with your own feelings. 

Take care. 

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Yeah, I've been able to get into a cancellation with my shrink tomorrow, to get some more guidance.  Currently he's "run away" for the second time today once my wife worked out how he was still getting wifi and closed that off.  He's stopped messaging her and is now messaging me that he's been talking with his friend about the situation and he's going to ask his mum if Kyan can come to their place.  He keeps messaging me to let him know.  I'm not answering him.  

**** this shit.

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He's gone for a third time now.  Told us we're ****heads who are ****ing ruining his life then sat on a stool ignoring is for 30 minutes.  Then packed for from the cupboard and left again.  I hope were doing the right thing, but he's flat out trying to emotionally blackmail us and it has to stop somewhere.  My wife's still upset about mother's Day, but I think we're both feeling we just have to let him play this out.

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He's 14.

Stiky, our daughter is pretty good.  She is just a polar opposite.  We just messaged her at work to see if she rather stay at a friend's tonight, which she's going to do.  

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1 hour ago, goughy said:

He's 14.

I feel for you. My young bloke is around the same age and although he has his moments we've never had real problems.

He is ADHD but is well controlled on medication and in fact seems to be going well even after it's worn off - to the extend the paediatrician thinks he may be able to stop. I can't remember whether your young bloke is being treated for anything??

I have no idea what I'd do if Trinube Jnr said he wanted to leave home.

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2 hours ago, goughy said:

Stiky, our daughter is pretty good.  She is just a polar opposite.  We just messaged her at work to see if she rather stay at a friend's tonight, which she's going to do.  

Yeah, I understand that and I'm not suggesting she'll start acting up at any stage.  More that she'll develop a habit of putting pressure on herself to be perfect which can be incredibly unhealthy too.  I kind of went through that as a teenager. 

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I think she'll be ok.  I'm more worried about her being pissed off with him "getting away" with crap because we feel we have to treat him with kid gloves.  But she's very solid within herself.  She knows she could be an op1 student but isn't trying to be, just doing what she has to to get into what she wants.  She's so sure of herself she actually turned down a captains roll this year because she decided she just didn't wanna do it.  I mean, who turns down a leadership roll in year 12?

I ended up going and finding him hiding in a nearby playground, and bringing him home.  My wife was getting pretty worried.  He says he has no idea what he's feeling and if just really confused.  Time for the hard work to start!  And he has NAPLAN today!  Will see if he goes?

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21 hours ago, roxii said:

Hey mate, sorry to hear it. 

Not sure if I posted this before but my son has shown a lot of similar signs, but since moving from treating the ADHD (he was the defiant type not the hyperactive type) and moved to treating the anxiety the improvement has been huge. He is a lot more relaxed about a lot of things that had him tied in knots before and seems a lot happier in himself.  

While the schoolwork and other stuff is still a struggle its not a fight to get him to do it. 

 

Good luck mate. 

Interesting to read that roxii!  I can say that while I'm finding the ADHD meds quite helpful, the anxiety medication was a revelation, and anxiety was never something mentioned to me before.  But the last few years at work is reached a point where quoting jobs would have me in a panic, and often they would take me days to finalise.  And the phone ringing would terrify me.  Where as now I'm really working out job costings straight up, no issues, and able to answer the phone without letting it go to the machine then having to work up the courage to call back.  Not great when you're running a business!

When I was in year 12 in particular, I used to developer a grey streak in my hair around exam blocks!

I certainly think we need to test Kyan's anxiety more aggressively, and find out if anything else is going on?  He's been pretty stressed and quiet all morning but has settled down now he's not going to school.

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Have you spoken to the school to make sure he's not being bullied? Maybe he's having a rough time at school and is taking it out on you guys.

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I chatted with one of his heads of year about that yesterday a little; he said to Robyn he's still having trouble with kids, but we really don't know at what level and with who?  He hasn't said anything lately.  I just think there's a lot more going on and we have to find a way to get it sorted.  

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Tough breaks Goughy.

Just to add some reassurance though, I was a complete c-bomb aged 13, 14 & 15 to my parents and others and before that had "run away" regularly.

Our family is now one of the happiest closest units that I know of and we're all doing alright. So it does get better.

And like Katz said. Never apologise for venting. It's what this place and this thread is sometimes for.

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Actually had a good day today.  Got into my shrink today to deconstruct the last few days really helped.  And she brought up the idea of seeking a more formal diagnosis for him, of there is something there!  She said or local uni's psych clinic does testing and diagnosis at a fraction of the cost of seeing a psychologist.  Run by those doing their honours year clinic placements but obviously supervised.  IQ testing, personality and disorders.  She said she's had some patients go through a complete barrage of treating by them, very thorough.  And as she said, with some conditions like ADHD and bipolar, the most effective and first line of attack is medication.  But you need to know first.  So I'll be making calls in the morning.

Thanks everyone for putting up with my ravings.  Really need that venting.

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Little update today, he's at school.  #winning

Had a productive emergency appointment with my shrink yesterday to deconstruct all this.  Gave me some great stuff, but most so she gave me the number to our uni's psych clinic!  It's run by the honours students doing their clinic placements for their honours and fully supervised.  But they can do a full set of psychological assessments, IQ testing etc etc and it's for a flat fee of $250.  They have some initial appointments with just us, then all of us and try to work out what they need to look for and then do the testing.  My shrink said one of her patients had been called back 3v times for more testing so she thinks they are throwing everything at her.  She said to have just one test and report done professionally can cost upwards of $1k.  But here they will do as much and as many as they need for the flat fee!  That's just friggin awesome, and I've been able to get him into their August intake, which in the world of professional therapy isn't much of a wait.  So this is something worth remembering for anyone in the future, contact uni's etc!  See what's available.

So if anyone in Brissie needs so extra help, or assessment, or thinks it could help their kids or something, the USQ Springfield campus also has this clinic.

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1 hour ago, Cranky said:

Kiren, Goughy, everyone else, 

How's things?

yeah was just checking this thread to ask the same thing. 

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Complete and utter tragedy today at Mount Keira. A 3 year old an innocent victim.

If you need help, force yourself to get it.

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Great to hear you have a "happy place" and can access it when you need to.

Take care.

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59 minutes ago, KieranR said:

Hi, im ok, just spending a lot of time in the ocean with my speargun.  It’s my happy place at the moment and am catching a lot of fish.  I’ve just done a month of nightshift on a shutdown here at the gas plant.  And should be unemployed again today as the shutdown is complete,  I’ve been asked to do the next one in two months but I’m not sure if I’m up to it.  I’m very drained and I had a few crisis moments over the last month.  

I talk to Katz and fff1077 a lot.  I have a long way to go.

i keep looking at my bikes and want to ride but I just don’t, I’m happy in the ocean shooting fish at the moment.

thanks to those who have messaged me here.  Much appreciated

kieran 

Good you have your happy place...i can totally understand the spearfishing/diving and how relaxing it is....gosh i haven't done either in soo long

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8 hours ago, KieranR said:

Hi, im ok, just spending a lot of time in the ocean with my speargun.  It’s my happy place at the moment and am catching a lot of fish.  I’ve just done a month of nightshift on a shutdown here at the gas plant.  And should be unemployed again today as the shutdown is complete,  I’ve been asked to do the next one in two months but I’m not sure if I’m up to it.  I’m very drained and I had a few crisis moments over the last month.  

I talk to Katz and fff1077 a lot.  I have a long way to go.

i keep looking at my bikes and want to ride but I just don’t, I’m happy in the ocean shooting fish at the moment.

thanks to those who have messaged me here.  Much appreciated

kieran 

No sharks up there?? Is the water clear?

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There will be no fish left for the sharks to feed on if Kezzas Insta is any indication. :)

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17 hours ago, zed said:

No sharks up there?? Is the water clear?

Big sharks up here! Lost a monster trout to a tiger yesterday, majority of the time we have between 5-10m vis and more. spring tides affect it a bit in certain areas.  I’m heading about 37km off shore tomorrow for some some spearing, predicting the water will be crystal clear out there, it was last time  on a similar tide cycle

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3 hours ago, KieranR said:

Big sharks up here! Lost a monster trout to a tiger yesterday, majority of the time we have between 5-10m vis and more. spring tides affect it a bit in certain areas.  I’m heading about 37km off shore tomorrow for some some spearing, predicting the water will be crystal clear out there, it was last time  on a similar tide cycle

Sounds like a great adventure, if you take pics, put some.on here if you can

Oh ... and take care out there 😉😉

Edited by Surfer

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On 24/05/2019 at 10:41 AM, Surfer said:

Sounds like a great adventure, if you take pics, put some.on here if you can

Oh ... and take care out there 😉😉

We had a great day, visibility was rubbish which made spearing difficult, first drop we were in about ten meters and couldn’t see the bottom until we hit 8m depth, got to the bottom and we shot a very good trout and a chinaman, both would have been approx 4kg each, my spear bounced off the chinaman so it was gone, and my mate had the trout but when he pulled the spear out of the cave it was without the trout so a frustrating start. We then went out to our trolling spot for Spanish mackerel, within 5min I was on to a very decent Spanish with a couple of smoking runs and I was in the hurt locker, we got him to the side of the boat and then he got mauled by a herd of bronze whalers.  We even had one bite the outboard and a few bash themselves on the bottom of the hull.    

Next pass and my friend got onto a big fish which we thought was another decent Spaniard, turns out it was a GT which we have estimated at 30kg+ , on the next pass we came across a problem, the motor and all gauges lost all power, now that’s a problem considering the boat has a leak in the fibreglass that’s not extactly a small leak either but we manage it with the bilge.  Now after about 15 minutes we located the problem, a loose earth on the dual batteries, easy fix and we then decided to go to our next dive spot hoping for cleaner water.  No surprises it was dirty also but at least we could see the bottom from 8m up to three, this is my trout hotspot but it was difficult today .  My friend got out of the water after about 30 minutes due to a blood nose issue he was having but I persisted diving the crevices and caves looking for my trout, another 30 minutes and I finally found one.

Coral trout are inquisitive and will come and swim at you and away but will keep coming back so you can take your time.  I didn’t muck around and placed a shot in the top of its head.  That was my trout for the day as we can only take one per day.

we then upped anchor and went on the hunt for crays and bluebone, my friends diving for the day was over due to his bleeding nose issue, so I jumped in at about 3m depth and went on the hunt but the current was so strong, so I went to the bottom and went from bomie to bomie ,missed two decent crays and so I kept looking out for the big bluebone, as I drifted along I think I must have gotten to about 12 or so meters deep when I found the big bluebone, I turned side on and nailed him with spear, not a kill shot but as normal it went beserk, as I came up to surface pulling him in I felt a big bump, looked down and a decent bull shark had latched on to him and my spear, I tried getting the fish off him but I lost that battle pretty quickly.  Kept looking around but didn’t see another big bluebone so came back to the boat.  

By now I was getting tired so decided to call it quits with the free diving and we went out to about 25m depth and found some structure to have a bottom bash, got out there and realised we had no bait 😂😂😂😂 so in I jumped down to about mid water and plugged a couple of Spanish flag for bait.  Back in the boat and down went the bait, only had one rod for bottom bashing so we took turns, well we lost two unstoppables including a big rankin cod at the boat which is a real shame as it’s one of the best table fish you will get.  Time for home, dead flat and about 42 knots we were travelling at, made for a quick trip home.  Now I just have to fillet some fish. 

5A3CED4A-31B8-41CA-ABC8-F04F7D32E6D9.jpeg

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AD0A1CF5-B505-4853-A4BC-2D033FD1F7AB.jpeg

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I  exhausted just reading about your day. You must be knackered!

And so many sharks😲😲😲😲😲

Great read, thanks for sharing

 

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On 13/05/2019 at 12:01 PM, roxii said:

Hey mate, sorry to hear it. 

Not sure if I posted this before but my son has shown a lot of similar signs, but since moving from treating the ADHD (he was the defiant type not the hyperactive type) and moved to treating the anxiety the improvement has been huge. He is a lot more relaxed about a lot of things that had him tied in knots before and seems a lot happier in himself.  

While the schoolwork and other stuff is still a struggle its not a fight to get him to do it. 

 

Good luck mate. 

I've been thinking a lot about this post of yours Roxii, particularly last night 

We've been struggling to get him to work on a geography assignment, he just doesn't understand why he has to do geography.  Last night things got worse, as his laptop was acting up at school and didn't seem to save some work he did on it.  He just melted down at the table and we had to let him go rest.  He came out later, and we don't know how but were able to recover the list work.  He was able to get it finished.  But the sheer stress he seemed to be suffering from it was incredible!   Then I remembered how I'd been the last few years, sometimes taking days to get quotes done for customer's, never bring able to work out out on the spot and terrified I was studying it up.  Since being on the anxiety meds it's just been completely different!  And we're really thinking that his anxiety has absolutely got its talons into him.

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Anxiety can do some pretty strange things, the thoughts of stuffing up make you not want to try at all. For me the anxiety was not about the task at hand, but about my health, or other stuff I could not control, so I just lost complete focus on everything else and got fixated, work slipped, studying slipped.

The lex has calmed that shit down immensely, I now have focus.

It is rearing its head again, but my project is ending soon and so is my contract as much as they want to keep me there is no budget for a skull cracker, sorry, project coordinator in the upcoming projects. CIO seems to have killed it off, much to the detriment of the poor project manager. But I am fixating on the job search, and not 100% focused on the work left, even though I know this is a quiet time for recruitment and I know I have unemployment funds to get me through!

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Where in the world is our favourite budgie smuggler today?

 

*posted with permission

 

KieranBudgieSmug.jpg

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My eyes!!!!!!

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1 hour ago, Katz said:

Where in the world is our favourite budgie smuggler today?

 

*posted with permission

 

KieranBudgieSmug.jpg

That is fn brilliant!!  Too funny 😂😃😄😅

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Honestly it’s Perfect whether for exploring in the  budgy’s at the moment.  Mid 20’s to kick off winter.  Should only get warmer from now on.

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Feeling pretty shit right now. Had to tell a guy who I've been working with for 21 years that he won't have a job at the end of the month. And he's been a contractor for the past 6 years, so there won't be a golden handshake at the end of it. I get home, and my daughter had to have the same conversation with one of her staff.

 

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4 minutes ago, Ex-Hasbeen said:

Feeling pretty shit right now. Had to tell a guy who I've been working with for 21 years that he won't have a job at the end of the month. And he's been a contractor for the past 6 years, so there won't be a golden handshake at the end of it. I get home, and my daughter had to have the same conversation with one of her staff.

 

Sorry to hear ExH, for both you & your daughter - that wouldve been a hard thing to do.

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