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The Mental Health thread

Mental Health  

305 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you suffer from a mental illness?

    • Yes
      98
    • No
      170
    • Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it
      39
  2. 2. Do you know someone who suffers a mental illness

    • Yes
      249
    • No
      31
    • Don't know but suspect they do
      27


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4 hours ago, nealo said:

In saying that if there is anyone on your mind that you worry about or think about, send them a message or make a call, it may be all they need.

^^ Precisely this.  I always see people say "if you ever want to talk, please call me" and I'm guilty of it also, but the thing is with people that are suffering from any type of mental illness, is they won't call a lot of the time, they will just suffer alone and not want to disturb anyone.

I've had a few battles lately and still am and I'm one of those that won't / didnt call despite me preaching the direct opposite to everyone else.

So yes, please call your friends if you are worried about them, or not even worried about them, just call and have a chat, listen to them and you may pick up on something.

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On 06/03/2019 at 1:21 PM, KieranR said:

^^ Precisely this.  I always see people say "if you ever want to talk, please call me" and I'm guilty of it also, but the thing is with people that are suffering from any type of mental illness, is they won't call a lot of the time, they will just suffer alone and not want to disturb anyone.

I've had a few battles lately and still am and I'm one of those that won't / didnt call despite me preaching the direct opposite to everyone else.

So yes, please call your friends if you are worried about them, or not even worried about them, just call and have a chat, listen to them and you may pick up on something.

@KieranR

 

Go easy on yourself there mate. Sometimes those calls are the hardest ones to make. You rang me this arvo, which was brilliant, and we had some serious chats. Both the chatting and the phone call took immense courage to do. Well done lad 🤘😎✌️

 

Like we talked about mate, one day at a time and do what you need to do to feel better. It'll take time to sort out, but you've got that in spades 👍

 

Cheers mate. Take it easy ✌️😎

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2 minutes ago, FFF1077 said:

You rang me this arvo, which was brilliant

You both rock.

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And while I'm here... 

 

Today was ****ing full on. 

 

My girlfriend and I have been talking about moving in together in November. With a view to bank one of our wages every month and save together for a place of our own. I really really like her.... Really really like her... You get the drift.

Now I'm cool with the idea of living with her, Mooj gets on well with her and she is getting used to it too. All good. 

 

Now the issue - I'm dirt poor. She is not. She is putting away money for a bond for the new place. Now I can't save anything, my debt levels and wage levels are mismatched. And I feel that I will be at the "new place" as a guest having not contributed to the bond down payment. So I said that I wanted to push the move in date out 6 months to at least give me half a chance of raising some cash towards the move. She took this as me not being certain about the move/us and has retreated from communication. 

 

I am worried that she will move on having not got what we originally talked about. It kinda feels like that. 

 

Was I wrong with the money thing? Have I ****ed it? 

 

 

*yes I have discussed the above with her. Want to vent here in an attempt to clear my mind. 

 

Thanks all. Love yuz ✌️

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As the wise one said - look inside your heart and the heart of hers. You both will know the answer. Be prepared to make a leap of faith. 

Life is too short to worry about anything other than giving your heart and soul to each other .

FM

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24 minutes ago, FFF1077 said:

 

Was I wrong with the money thing?

 

She's going to be aware of the fact she makes more than you.

Its not likely you'll ever be 50/50 in all aspects of the relationship at all times, so don't sweat it.

Have another chat and explain you're worried about not pulling your weight.

Maybe she'll make you work it off somehow, if you're lucky ;)

Just be open and see how it goes, you might have to swallow a bit of pride and accept being a lesser monetary contributor.

 

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Reverse the roles in your head mate.if you were loaded and she was a uni student or volunteering at the dog pound would you care if she could or couldn’t contribute to the bond. 

The main thing is that you guys are in love. If you make money an issue now it will set a bad tone for the relationship. Contribute where and when you can. Very few relationships are fiscally equal. 

Shouldnt matter. 

Dont let a stubborn male ego ruin something good. 

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FFF, money is just money.  Sure you don't have to pool it together as such, but if moving in together is important to you both and is possible.... if you get my drift.  Now, think of it this way.  What if you were much more financially stable than she was?  Would that have mattered to you?  

Rob and I were 19 and 20 when we moved in together.  Haven't had separate bank accounts since then!

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8 minutes ago, Tyno said:

She's going to be aware of the fact she makes more than you.

Its not likely you'll ever be 50/50 in all aspects of the relationship at all times, so don't sweat it.

Have another chat and explain you're worried about not pulling your weight.

Maybe she'll make you work it off somehow, if you're lucky ;)

Just be open and see how it goes, you might have to swallow a bit of pride and accept being a lesser monetary contributor.

 

Thanks mate 

 

Yeah she knows what I earn and I know what she earns. Open book there. If she makes me work it off.... LOL I'll get back to you 🤔😂😂✌️

 

 

Beautiful words @Flanman😎✌️

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This place is awesome. I hope it never loses it's awesomeness.

The call for support can be the hardest thing to ever do. And when you make it and you don't get a response to what you needed most (as happened to me today), it makes it so much harder to make it again. 

Kudos to you Kieran for making it and kudos to you FFF for being there for Kieran and then posting here for you. 

I can tell anyone and everyone, I know how hard it can be to reach out for help and I know how shit it feels when there is no one there when you need it most. I can guarantee, I will always, at any time be there for anyone who needs it. ANY.TIME.

 

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FFF, big deal about the money. If you both "really really like" each other, then it doesn't matter. If you really do feel bad about it, pull your weight around the house a bit more. You work early, so make sure you're there when she gets home to make her evenings a bit easier for her.

Grow the "really really like".

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Thanks for the chat Sam, appreciate it.

For now I'm just enjoying going 4wding in my Ute, walking the coast with my fishing rod & spear gun and trying to catch some fish 

My wife's very concerned about me, and isn't really keen on me heading out by myself,  but I've made a commitment to her & the doctors that if i feel like im having an episode that i call them immediately.

For those that don't know, two weeks ago on my birthday i called the police on myself, i was sitting at home alone and was about to cut myself with my hunting knife, So i'm now in the care of the Pilbara Mental health crisis team which consists of psychiatrist, psychologist, nurse and social worker who are working with me.

Thanks to Sam, Stikman, Willie, RBR, BCJ and Rimmer for the chats over the past couple weeks - much appreciated

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Wow mate, thats full on. 

I really dont know what to say, as Im sure anything I do say will feel tokenistic. 

Im just really glad you were able to reach out, Im sure that means you feel you have plenty to stick around for. 

Good luck mate, take care and Im glad this place and its awesome people have been there for you. 

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Money & parents were the only two things my wife & I would argue about.

so we agreed both our parents were annoying but they are the only ones we have. So we just go with t now.

we also pooled our money & we both get an allowance. We can blow that money on anything we want but that’s it until the next fortnight.

My wife is happy doing reduced hours at work. She does more around the house then me (which isn’t hard). We have both agreed for me to be successful at work I need a strong support network at home.

i guess my point is although u may not make as much money  as her you can do contribute it more to the relationship than just money. 

 

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4 minutes ago, Bored@work said:

Money & parents were the only two things my wife & I would argue about.

so we agreed both our parents were annoying but they are the only ones we have. So we just go with t now.

we also pooled our money & we both get an allowance. We can blow that money on anything we want but that’s it until the next fortnight.

My wife is happy doing reduced hours at work. She does more around the house then me (which isn’t hard). We have both agreed for me to be successful at work I need a strong support network at home.

i guess my point is although u may not make as much money  as her you can do contribute it more to the relationship than just money. 

 

Non-tri Gold!!

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1 hour ago, KieranR said:

Thanks for the chat Sam, appreciate it.

For now I'm just enjoying going 4wding in my Ute, walking the coast with my fishing rod & spear gun and trying to catch some fish 

My wife's very concerned about me, and isn't really keen on me heading out by myself,  but I've made a commitment to her & the doctors that if i feel like im having an episode that i call them immediately.

For those that don't know, two weeks ago on my birthday i called the police on myself, i was sitting at home alone and was about to cut myself with my hunting knife, So i'm now in the care of the Pilbara Mental health crisis team which consists of psychiatrist, psychologist, nurse and social worker who are working with me.

Thanks to Sam, Stikman, Willie, RBR, BCJ and Rimmer for the chats over the past couple weeks - much appreciated

Well done on making those commitments mate. Awesome work 😎🤘✌️

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7 hours ago, Bored@work said:

She does more around the house then me (which isn’t hard). We have both agreed for me to be successful at work I need a strong support network at home.

i guess my point is although u may not make as much money  as her you can do contribute it more to the relationship than just money. 

 

That's pretty much how it is for us, plus Mrs FP says she does more so I can rest from training. It just doesn't work if one of you its not aligned with the other. When Mrs FP returns to work, that axis shifts and rightly so. She's a CPA and is keen to start getting back into the workplace.

No one system works for ever, the ability to talk, compromise and just some sails is absolutely key IMO.

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Well, I've had an interesting start to the year.  Had a pretty down time a month after the strokes where my shrink was pretty worried about me, to my last appointment where she couldn't believe the difference - she said it's the first time she's seen me smiling.  My trial of strattera for my add has seen it slowly increasing, and after a few weeks on the new dosage I think I've been finding it working.  And it's really weird!  I've been on ritalin before, over a decade ago, and I think it was effective but I didn't like the feeling on it.  I think there was a kind of rush to me.  This stuff is a non-stimulant, but supposedly not quite as effective.

The last two weeks at work have I think been some, if not by far my most productive weeks at work.  Time didn't feel like it was dragging by and I still felt the usual pull of distractions but kinda didn't care about them.  It might sound silly to many saying this, but is this what it's like for normal people?  I mean, sometimes a distraction would be just that, but it didn't last as long.  And jobs that I usually find dull and boring were much less so.  I worked Sunday week ago and got the same amount of work done that day as was taking me two, and it didn't feel like an effort.  The big thing was not feeling like a was rushed, on the go, like I did on ritalin.

I thought this stuff a week ago, but wanted another week to see if it was still happening.  And it seems to be so.  I hope I'm not blowing it by being so excited by this.  But it so frustrating to be like this, and spend sooooooo much time at work for what often feels like a waste!

I've been getting into my yoga, doing several sessions a week plus a mindfulness session.  And some Les Mills body balance sessions which have actually been fun.  Otherwise just doing easy sessions so far.  It hasn't sparked me to get into meditation and mindfulness properly yet.  Maybe once I'm a bit better and more comfortable with it that will happen.  It's still a bit of hard work.  I can tell I'm slightly more flexible though.

Tuesday I get to swallow an ultrasound camera or something to get a better look at the hole thingy in my heart.  That sounds like fun.......

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My current personal theme....

 

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12 hours ago, goughy said:

Well, I've had an interesting start to the year.  Had a pretty down time a month after the strokes where my shrink was pretty worried about me, to my last appointment where she couldn't believe the difference - she said it's the first time she's seen me smiling.  My trial of strattera for my add has seen it slowly increasing, and after a few weeks on the new dosage I think I've been finding it working.  And it's really weird!  I've been on ritalin before, over a decade ago, and I think it was effective but I didn't like the feeling on it.  I think there was a kind of rush to me.  This stuff is a non-stimulant, but supposedly not quite as effective.

The last two weeks at work have I think been some, if not by far my most productive weeks at work.  Time didn't feel like it was dragging by and I still felt the usual pull of distractions but kinda didn't care about them.  It might sound silly to many saying this, but is this what it's like for normal people?  I mean, sometimes a distraction would be just that, but it didn't last as long.  And jobs that I usually find dull and boring were much less so.  I worked Sunday week ago and got the same amount of work done that day as was taking me two, and it didn't feel like an effort.  The big thing was not feeling like a was rushed, on the go, like I did on ritalin.

I thought this stuff a week ago, but wanted another week to see if it was still happening.  And it seems to be so.  I hope I'm not blowing it by being so excited by this.  But it so frustrating to be like this, and spend sooooooo much time at work for what often feels like a waste!

I've been getting into my yoga, doing several sessions a week plus a mindfulness session.  And some Les Mills body balance sessions which have actually been fun.  Otherwise just doing easy sessions so far.  It hasn't sparked me to get into meditation and mindfulness properly yet.  Maybe once I'm a bit better and more comfortable with it that will happen.  It's still a bit of hard work.  I can tell I'm slightly more flexible though.

Tuesday I get to swallow an ultrasound camera or something to get a better look at the hole thingy in my heart.  That sounds like fun.......

Excellent news mate 👌

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Today is the 5yr anniversary of my Dad’s death.  In a way it’s good because it’s Easter and we are all gathered at Mum’s and having great time.

I was sad when my Dad died but I’ve never really mourned his loss, not properly. I think of him at random times, like when I’m using some tools in the shed or watching a film but there was never an outpouring of emotion from me.

i spent over half my life in Oz and other places, somewhat disconnected from that tight family unit. I feel bad about that in some ways and not in others. :(

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4 minutes ago, FatPom said:

Today is the 5yr anniversary of my Dad’s death.  In a way it’s good because it’s Easter and we are all gathered at Mum’s and having great time.

I was sad when my Dad died but I’ve never really mourned his loss, not properly. I think of him at random times, like when I’m using some tools in the shed or watching a film but there was never an outpouring of emotion from me.

i spent over half my life in Oz and other places, somewhat disconnected from that tight family unit. I feel bad about that in some ways and not in others. :(

Its good to hear youre enjoying time with you family. Sometimes our views & feelings change about 'family' when we have kids &/or we lose a parent. So sorry to hear about your Dad. For me,  5yrs isnt that long & there are probably a mix of feelings just under the surface. Take the time to mourn your Dad if you feel you havent  because sometimes those feeling turn up when you  least expect & not always a convenient time either!  

Enjoy what you have now, you cant change what did or didnt happened but you can do stuff from now to enjoy 'family' ...sounds like youre doing it right now. 

Have a great family Easter FP  x

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On 19/04/2019 at 8:25 PM, FatPom said:

Today is the 5yr anniversary of my Dad’s death.  In a way it’s good because it’s Easter and we are all gathered at Mum’s and having great time.

I was sad when my Dad died but I’ve never really mourned his loss, not properly. I think of him at random times, like when I’m using some tools in the shed or watching a film but there was never an outpouring of emotion from me.

I know exactly how you feel FP. Five years today since mum departed and miss her every day.

Often it's the little things too. The kids do something and you'd just love to be able to tell her about it. I went for a swim this morning in her honour and this afternoon I'll smash some Mint Slice. It was tradition to have Mint Slice at mum's place - now April 28 is the only day of the year I eat them.

Edited by trinube
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15 hours ago, trinube said:

You come across as a genuinely good egg Surfer. The world needs more good eggs.

Aww thanks Trinube, theres lots of great people around here 🙂

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On 28/04/2019 at 11:28 AM, trinube said:

I know exactly how you feel FP. Five years today since mum departed and miss her every day.

Well sh!t. Not 24 hours after the anniversary of mum dying I get a call from my cousin that my uncle (mum's brother) has been moved into intensive care. He's been in hospital for about 6 weeks with a combination of fall injuries and long term Leukaemia.

The family were called in today for 'a meeting' with the Doctors. It's a horrible, horrible scenario - it's when they tell you your loved one is going to die and to prepare yourself. After the meeting they were stopping his blood pressure medication (needed to keep his BP up) and were starting morphine to ease him into a coma and help nature take its course.

He was a kind, good hearted man - my favourite uncle - in fact my middle name came from him. The next call will not be good.

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Sorry to hear it Trinube. Though pleased for you all it didn't take too long and he can be at peace. 

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On 30/04/2019 at 7:52 AM, trinube said:

:( RIP Uncle Rob, a 'good egg' gone.

Sorry to hear Kim.

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On 01/05/2019 at 2:36 PM, Katz said:

@KieranR What's new?

This got me thinking on my ride home today. 

I know I’m not the only one who checked Kieran’s profile to see when he last checked Trannies.  I also checked his Insta and shot him a DM. I sent another DM to a known associate as well. 

I know my motivation is good, but what if half a dozen or more similarly motivated people did the same thing? Is there a risk of being interpreted by the recipient in a negative light? 

Personally, any kind of illness/tiredness/general foul mood I want to be left alone. I wonder if it might be the same for some people when coping with mental illness and then even well intentioned checking in can be interpreted negatively and have a negative effect on them?

Im speaking generally here, not about any specific person, but does anyone have any knowledge or experience that relates?

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I get what you are saying, Tyno. When I'm at a low point I just want people to leave me the **** alone, and even the most well-meaning contact or offers of assistance are misinterpreted. I've just sent a heap of messages apologising for being a grumpy cow. 

Hopefully Kieran has at least one person close enough to talk to if he needs to. Maybe if someone here knows him well enough personally to check in unobtrusively.....

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17 minutes ago, -H- said:

I get what you are saying, Tyno. When I'm at a low point I just want people to leave me the **** alone, and even the most well-meaning contact or offers of assistance are misinterpreted. I've just sent a heap of messages apologising for being a grumpy cow. 

Hopefully Kieran has at least one person close enough to talk to if he needs to. Maybe if someone here knows him well enough personally to check in unobtrusively.....

I don’t think he will mind me saying I chatted with him this morning. I’ll leave any further update to him if he chooses. 

One other thing we talked about was how although everyone tells us to reach out if we need to, it can often be all but impossible to do so when you’re really low. 

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I think I speak for many if not all when I say it’s really not about being nosy, just abut hoping he is “safe”. 

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4 minutes ago, roxii said:

I think I speak for many if not all when I say it’s really not about being nosy, just abut hoping he is “safe”. 

I agree mate. Heck, I’d even be happy if he posted a budgy smuggler pic 😀

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34 minutes ago, roxii said:

I think I speak for many if not all when I say it’s really not about being nosy, just abut hoping he is “safe”. 

Of course, but sometimes it feels different from the other end

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8 hours ago, Bored@work said:

Anyone know how FFF1077 is going? 

Still having fun with his girl. And getting out riding & running regularly.

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10 hours ago, -H- said:

Of course, but sometimes it feels different from the other end

I think a message without a question is a good option such as : "thinking of you" or "take care dude" or " just to let you know Im thinking of you"  etc

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Hi, thanks for the thoughts. I’ll be honest, I’m not coping.  I’ve been in hospital a few times for my own safety and was pulled from the water unconscious a couple of weeks ago.  I’m in the care of the pilbara mental health team at the hospital with a team of people around me who want to see me thrive.  

I have chosen to stop work full time and am just doing some short term shutdowns (1 to 2 weeks) back on the tools  when I feel like it just to keep some income coming in.  We are financially ok so this is fine for the rest of the year.  I’m currently doing one and just on night shift taking it shift by shift.  I’ve been honest with my company about my daily suicidal thoughts and they have been great but won’t let me off ground level for obvious reasons.

i want to get better but I understand it’s going to be a long process as we have not yet identified all the triggers,  the biggest concerns are that my behaviour has become very impulsive and following this I am having devastating lows.  

I also have a crisis team of friends who I am supposed to call on when I’m having a crisis but it’s so hard to do (Katz mentioned it above). Fff1077 is in my group and he’s been great.  Thanks for the messages from a couple of people here, it’s apprecaited, sorry if I’m slow to respond.

its been tough on my wife and kids but they are sticking by me.

cheers

Kieran

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Sorry to hear how much you're struggling, Kieran.  I hope you get on top of things soon.  Good on you for posting, clearly you have a lot of people who care and are concerned about you (maybe not always clear, but you know what I mean).

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Sorry to hear about your struggles mate. Glad you are still around to fight on. 

Dont know what to say except good luck and sending you a man hug from here. 

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Tough to read Kieran but much tougher to live.

Like Roxii I don't have any useful advice and it sounds like you're getting a load of that anyway but good luck mate, keep taking it one day at a time.

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