Jump to content
nealo

The Mental Health thread

Mental Health  

307 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you suffer from a mental illness?

    • Yes
      98
    • No
      172
    • Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it
      39
  2. 2. Do you know someone who suffers a mental illness

    • Yes
      250
    • No
      32
    • Don't know but suspect they do
      27


Recommended Posts

I saw this sign in a shop this morning & thought how true. It's out by a couple days but really makes sense.

 

"Xmas is a Full Moon this year. As if mixing alcohol & family isn't madness enough."

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My ED had its first attempted suicide of the festive season today. There will be many more to come. 

  • Sad 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, Katz said:

My ED had its first attempted suicide of the festive season today. There will be many more to come. 

we have had 4 in Karratha in the past 15 days (that i know about) - sadly they all passed away

  • Sad 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not sure how I am feeling now.  Yep, another happy Christmas, not. My partner and I have been together for just over 7 years. It has had it ups and downs, with him cheating on me for a period (with someone I knew….).  I made the decision to continue in the relationship. When we travel and or are with family (which is not very often – mine are interstate and his overseas) the times are good and their are lots of laughs.  At home, we don’t communicate very well with each other. He has been trying to gain employment for over 18 months (after previously being in Government for 9 years).  He drives rideshare, but the money and hour are crap. We have tried everything to get back into Government, he has been shortlist, meritorious on most but never successful. I have encouraged him to look at non-government (but a short stint at an employment agency was awful for him, constantly being abused, sworn at…) or even look at retraining through TAFE. His motivation and confidence are completely gone, and he is stuck that government is the only option (so only applies for 2-3 jobs a month).  He is travelling back to see family in March for 3 months, and I got upset on Christmas day as he is travelling before his birthday and won’t be here (but he didn’t tell me before telling the).  I know it is petty, but I have no family (or children) and I like spending this time together.  My mouth opened before I thought and there went Christmas day. I am finding it a big challenge to keep motivating him, encouraging him and completely covering the house myself (yes is mine and I cover all the bills, but an offer to help when things break would be nice). We keep saying mean things to each other; I admit and say I am sorry, but I can’t stop (and I can admit that – I am not a bad person, I get emotional and he doesn’t like that).  He says things as well and then says he didn’t say it or tells me to stop putting words in my mouth.  After 7 years, and a decision to not have children by him, now leaves me too old to have children (that makes me sad) and the likelihood of being on my own (that I am not worried about).  Yet another fight, and he has gone to the gym. He’ll come home and eat in front on the computer all afternoon, or sleep. We can’t even seem to be at the same table. My granddad is unwell (as I have spoken about on here) and both my mum and dad (not together - struggle to meet day to day living - so I feel that pressure as well, more for my dad at he moment). Just needing to vent a little. I finally have no more tears to cry and I think I have finally run out of puff to even argue anymore.  Would like to find some peace in myself so I can better to and for those around me.

Edited by skel
  • Sad 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 minutes ago, skel said:

Not sure how I am feeling now.  Yep, another happy Christmas, not. My partner and I have been together for just over 7 years. It has had it ups and downs, with him cheating on me for a period (with someone I knew….).  I made the decision to continue in the relationship. When we travel and or are with family (which is not very often – mine are interstate and his overseas) the times are good and their are lots of laughs.  At home, we don’t communicate very well with each other. He has been trying to gain employment for over 18 months (after previously being in Government for 9 years).  He drives rideshare, but the money and hour are crap. We have tried everything to get back into Government, he has been shortlist, meritorious on most but never successful. I have encouraged him to look at non-government (but a short stint at an employment agency was awful for him, constantly being abused, sworn at…) or even look at retraining through TAFE. His motivation and confidence are completely gone, and he is stuck that government is the only option (so only applies for 2-3 jobs a month).  He is travelling back to see family in March for 3 months, and I got upset on Christmas day as he is travelling before his birthday and won’t be here (but he didn’t tell me before telling the).  I know it is petty, but I have no family (or children) and I like spending this time together.  My mouth opened before I thought and there went Christmas day. I am finding it a big challenge to keep motivating him, encouraging him and completely covering the house myself (yes is mine and I cover all the bills, but an offer to help when things break would be nice). We keep saying mean things to each other; I admit and say I am sorry, but I can’t stop (and I can admit that – I am not a bad person, I get emotional and he doesn’t like that).  He says things as well and then says he didn’t say it or tells me to stop putting words in my mouth.  After 7 years, and a decision to not have children by him, now leaves me too old to have children (that makes me sad) and the likelihood of being on my own (that I am not worried about).  Yet another fight, and he has gone to the gym. He’ll come home and eat in front on the computer all afternoon, or sleep. We can’t even seem to be at the same table. My granddad is unwell (as I have spoken about on here) and both my mum and dad (not together - struggle to meet day to day living - so I feel that pressure as well, more for my dad at he moment). Just needing to vent a little. I finally have no more tears to cry and I think I have finally run out of puff to even argue anymore.  Would like to find some peace in myself so I can better to and for those around me.

Sorry to hear you're having such a shitty time. My life is not perfect either, and I am not saying it is, but sometimes it's easier to see things on the outside looking in.  Just my 2c worth here, so feel free to ignore but...

1. How does he pay for the gym membership? I work full time and can't justify that money. 

2. Why can't he just get a job stocking shelves at woolies until he finds something that he WANTS to do?

Sorry but it sound like he's got it too good with you. Do you deserve better?

Take care.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love is a fickle thing, it doesn't always make sense.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hugs Skel, wish I had something more constructive to offer. If you ever want a break in Sydney we have a detached room you're welcome to inhabit for a few days.

You're a tough little cookie, I'm sure you'll come up with the right direction to move forward.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear about the situation skel, but I’m with Cranky here about the job situation, I’ve always been one that has said work is work, might not be what you want right now but it’s income etc until you find what you want.  Is there any other way to encourage him to do this until his luck changes?  

My wife and I have had our fair share of ups and downs this past year, it sounded like exactly what you described above inregards to the at home relationship, we resorted to counselling recently, as hard as it was for me to go, I have to admit it is helping.

i hope you find a way to be happier.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel for you here Skel, especially being on a relatively small island, it’s not like you can just keep driving.

I don’t get on with many public sector types as the sense of entitlement is staggering and something I can’t comprehend.. Couple that with it being the graveyard of ambition for most, I can see why he’s lacking motivation to work in the real world.

Above all that for mine is the cheating, WTF?  C’mon Skel, you deserve better than that.

The kid thing is bloody tricky.  I was absolutely dead set against that merry go round again but just couldn’t live myself if I didn’t try Mrs FPS sake.  PM me if you want some perspective ( I have no idea how old you are? )

 

Edited by FatPom
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Skel, I am glad that you are opening up, it is a positive step. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone professionally as this may help to get things in perspective. 

Big steps are hard to make but remember, that’s why they are big steps. I hope it works out. 

Peter, Mr Flower, MoM and I will be in Port this year. There will be a ton of others from Trannies. Always good to catch up and see old friends. 

FM

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest FFF1077

Skel that's tough to read. You're a quality human. 

 

I'm with FP. 

Cheating = see ya later alligator. 

 

You are amazing and awesome. Don't accept second best when it comes to your welfare. Especially from a guy who sounds like a spoilt brat..? If I can say that? ✌️

 

Xmas is tough. 

I spent Xmas eve completely alone. Ivy was with her Mum. It was HARD. 

 

Keep talking here when you need. 

 

And don't give up on you. Look at what YOU need and want and create a plan to make it happen. 

 

Hugs 

 

Sam 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Skel take care of You. From all accounts youre a great chick, dont doubt your worth nor accept that which you wouldnt see your loved ones accept..

Christmas, birthdays, valentine day etc etc are tough when youre feeling vulnerable. I hope as NewYear rolls past that you get some strength, or second wind seeing as we're athletes, to do what you have to

Brave move opening up, hang in there, keep talking. Hugs x

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 28/12/2018 at 3:38 AM, skel said:

Not sure how I am feeling now.  Yep, another happy Christmas, not. My partner and I have been together for just over 7 years. It has had it ups and downs, with him cheating on me for a period (with someone I knew….).  I made the decision to continue in the relationship. When we travel and or are with family (which is not very often – mine are interstate and his overseas) the times are good and their are lots of laughs.  At home, we don’t communicate very well with each other. He has been trying to gain employment for over 18 months (after previously being in Government for 9 years).  He drives rideshare, but the money and hour are crap. We have tried everything to get back into Government, he has been shortlist, meritorious on most but never successful. I have encouraged him to look at non-government (but a short stint at an employment agency was awful for him, constantly being abused, sworn at…) or even look at retraining through TAFE. His motivation and confidence are completely gone, and he is stuck that government is the only option (so only applies for 2-3 jobs a month).  He is travelling back to see family in March for 3 months, and I got upset on Christmas day as he is travelling before his birthday and won’t be here (but he didn’t tell me before telling the).  I know it is petty, but I have no family (or children) and I like spending this time together.  My mouth opened before I thought and there went Christmas day. I am finding it a big challenge to keep motivating him, encouraging him and completely covering the house myself (yes is mine and I cover all the bills, but an offer to help when things break would be nice). We keep saying mean things to each other; I admit and say I am sorry, but I can’t stop (and I can admit that – I am not a bad person, I get emotional and he doesn’t like that).  He says things as well and then says he didn’t say it or tells me to stop putting words in my mouth.  After 7 years, and a decision to not have children by him, now leaves me too old to have children (that makes me sad) and the likelihood of being on my own (that I am not worried about).  Yet another fight, and he has gone to the gym. He’ll come home and eat in front on the computer all afternoon, or sleep. We can’t even seem to be at the same table. My granddad is unwell (as I have spoken about on here) and both my mum and dad (not together - struggle to meet day to day living - so I feel that pressure as well, more for my dad at he moment). Just needing to vent a little. I finally have no more tears to cry and I think I have finally run out of puff to even argue anymore.  Would like to find some peace in myself so I can better to and for those around me.

Time to ask him to leave. Best to have someone else in the house with you when you tell him and also when he packs his stuff.

He's a liability.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, The Customer said:

Time to TELL him to leave. Best to have someone else in the house with you when you tell him and also when he packs his stuff.

He's a liability.

Totally agree. Cut & run.  You deserve better. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tough time of year Skel and it sounds like you have it tough. 

I'm not going to suggest breaking up with him, you clearly have your reasons for not and without knowing the details of the relationship it's not my place to judge. 

But I will agree that he should get a job other than ridesharing. It could be minimum wage work but that will probably pay more than ride sharing and it will mean that he has provable employment on his CV. If somebody comes to me for an interview and they have 18 months of shelf stacking after losing their last role then that tells me that they are a striver and that they can turn up for work (even boring work) on time and with motivation day in and day out. Ridesharing is too nebulous / sounds like a lifestyle choice.

 

I spent this afternoon with my friend who's in a psych ward... in good news her section has been lifted so she is now there voluntarily so we could go out for a few hours and have lunch and a walk. In bad news I sat and cried in the car for 15 minutes after leaving her there. It's not a nice place and I still feel pretty useless :(

  • Sad 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That wouldve been tough Monkie, your friend will appreciate the time spent together & after you left it wouldve given her nice things to think about. Hugs x

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 30/12/2018 at 8:07 AM, monkie said:

 

I spent this afternoon with my friend who's in a psych ward... in good news her section has been lifted so she is now there voluntarily so we could go out for a few hours and have lunch and a walk. In bad news I sat and cried in the car for 15 minutes after leaving her there. It's not a nice place and I still feel pretty useless :(

Glad you had a nice lunch together. She will have appreciated that more than you realise. Good on you for being an awesome friend.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest FFF1077
On 30/12/2018 at 6:07 AM, monkie said:

 

I spent this afternoon with my friend who's in a psych ward... in good news her section has been lifted so she is now there voluntarily so we could go out for a few hours and have lunch and a walk. In bad news I sat and cried in the car for 15 minutes after leaving her there. It's not a nice place and I still feel pretty useless :(

Yes, they are horrible places to visit and even more horrible to be admitted to. 

 

My time in one was the second most disturbing experience in my life. I left there wanting to talk to the Victorian government about how they expect people to rehabilitate properly in such squaller. ****ing sad. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, FFF1077 said:

My time in one was the second most disturbing experience in my life. I left there wanting to talk to the Victorian government about how they expect people to rehabilitate properly in such squaller. ****ing sad. 

To be fair this one was clean and the staff were fantastic but at the end of the day it's still a secure psych unit so there's only so much you can do. She at least has her own room though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎30‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 9:07 AM, monkie said:

But I will agree that he should get a job other than ridesharing. It could be minimum wage work but that will probably pay more than ride sharing and it will mean that he has provable employment on his CV. If somebody comes to me for an interview and they have 18 months of shelf stacking after losing their last role then that tells me that they are a striver and that they can turn up for work (even boring work) on time and with motivation day in and day out. Ridesharing is too nebulous / sounds like a lifestyle choice.

Years ago I was employing for an IT role. I had 6-7 people I interviewed. One guy of Lebanese background said he was driving cabs. When I asked why he said he did not want to go on the dole. he wanted to work. He wasn't the best candidate, but he showed he had drive. I employed him and it turned out to be a fantastic decision. When I moved on, he stood up and took over my role. So what Mokie said above is true.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎30‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 1:12 AM, The Customer said:

Time to ask him to leave. Best to have someone else in the house with you when you tell him and also when he packs his stuff.

He's a liability.

Hi All and Skel, I have not read a lot of this thread but I do peruse from time to time. I am a bit of a mental health cynic sometimes due to many examples I know of, but acknowledge it does exist.

In Skels post above - I can see you have poured your heart out here and it must be hard. It is a testament to the people on the forum that you can trust them in such a way. I applaud you (Skel) and others.

I am certainly no expert but 7 years is a long time and I was wondering if others were thinking it but did not want to say it. I think 'The Customers' comment above is true. Sounds like a conversation needs to be had for better or worse......... 8, 9, 10, 11 years is an even longer time to be unhappy.

I wish you the best and like Flanman said... reach out.... and also, I am another that will be in Port in May. Best wishes xo

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can someone tell me about councilling and how it works with a GP referral? Don't you get 8 sessions free or something or other?

My 9yo can be a hand-full, but nothing compared to what I've seen/heard through being a teacher. I think she has some ASD (Aspergers) traits. I have thought this for about 18 months. We saw the GP, got a referral, went to a Developmental & Behavioural Paediatrician. On the first visit, after looking at questionnaires from Dazz, her teacher, and myself, head having a chat to her, he said she might have ADHD. He then said that if it runs in the family he would be more convinced that's what it is. Dazz was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and let's be honest, I could probably pass the test for this one too! 🤣 We told him this and so he said to have a chat about it, and the idea of medicating, and we will see you next week. So after talking about it we decided that we would give medication a go. We went back the following week, the script was prescribed and we started the medication. After beating myself up for a few weeks about this (I don't like the stigma attached to Ritalin) I gave in and just let it be. She has been on the medication hour for approximately 5 weeks and after a trip to Wivanhoe Dam the other day and her being full-on in the car we decided that the medication was not working. The doctor said that if she was not ADHD it would hype her up. Because our lives are so busy it is very rare that we sit down and get to watch her behaviour closely. This one hour car trip each way was the perfect opportunity to see that there is no way in the world that Ritalin is calming her down at all. So then I went back to the idea of Aspergers. But after meeting with my best friend yesterday, who is also a very good and experienced teacher at our school, she thinks that her behaviour is more attention seeking than anything else. Mainly because every time she does something naughty, her dad reacts. It is true that when it is just us three girls (her, her sister and I) things are a lot calmer. I have the advantage that I have been trained in education and have attended many PD sessions on how to deal with children's behaviour. Dazz has not had these opportunities and also does not have the patience or tolerance that I have.

So back to the original question. Perhaps she is not ASD or ADHD and she is just being a little miss! She does have a lot of ASD traits, and I will list them in a second, but perhaps not quite enough to be on the spectrum. ?? Perhaps we just need some counselling to learn how to deal with this behaviour. (I don't think PPP is enough).

One day she is going to be something great. Her negotiating skills are like none I've ever seen! And she drags me in every single time!

Her ASD (?) traits:

Dealing with frustration - hits head
Doesn't like light touch
Like lots of blankets on top of get to sleep (weight?)
Forced smile, very uncomfortable
Misinterpret people's comments
Remembers numbers
Very specific/ detailed with descriptions
Likes to know what everyone is doing. Loves calendars and planning
Wears the same clothes every day
Won't look you in the eye for long
Negotiates ALL the time, never happy
Self centred
Great memory
Hand washing
Won't wear shoes unless she washes her feet first, if they feel dirty
Oppositional to Olivia & Dad
Random weird noises for no apparent rain.
Has trouble being still and quiet.
Very rough and fast with things ie closing doors
Bites nails

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My toddler is ASD diagnosed and a great place to start with behavioural issues is a physiologist with specific ASD experience and preferably with girls as from what I’ve read girls present a little different from boys and are better at masking their issues.

Theres a fb group ASD Matters that’s been really helpful for us in being able to ask questions from those who’ve had similar experiences.

Good luck with finding the right help for your daughter 🙂 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 28/12/2018 at 11:38 AM, skel said:

Not sure how I am feeling now.  Yep, another happy Christmas, not. My partner and I have been together for just over 7 years. It has had it ups and downs, with him cheating on me for a period (with someone I knew….).  I made the decision to continue in the relationship. When we travel and or are with family (which is not very often – mine are interstate and his overseas) the times are good and their are lots of laughs.  At home, we don’t communicate very well with each other. He has been trying to gain employment for over 18 months (after previously being in Government for 9 years).  He drives rideshare, but the money and hour are crap. We have tried everything to get back into Government, he has been shortlist, meritorious on most but never successful. I have encouraged him to look at non-government (but a short stint at an employment agency was awful for him, constantly being abused, sworn at…) or even look at retraining through TAFE. His motivation and confidence are completely gone, and he is stuck that government is the only option (so only applies for 2-3 jobs a month).  He is travelling back to see family in March for 3 months, and I got upset on Christmas day as he is travelling before his birthday and won’t be here (but he didn’t tell me before telling the).  I know it is petty, but I have no family (or children) and I like spending this time together.  My mouth opened before I thought and there went Christmas day. I am finding it a big challenge to keep motivating him, encouraging him and completely covering the house myself (yes is mine and I cover all the bills, but an offer to help when things break would be nice). We keep saying mean things to each other; I admit and say I am sorry, but I can’t stop (and I can admit that – I am not a bad person, I get emotional and he doesn’t like that).  He says things as well and then says he didn’t say it or tells me to stop putting words in my mouth.  After 7 years, and a decision to not have children by him, now leaves me too old to have children (that makes me sad) and the likelihood of being on my own (that I am not worried about).  Yet another fight, and he has gone to the gym. He’ll come home and eat in front on the computer all afternoon, or sleep. We can’t even seem to be at the same table. My granddad is unwell (as I have spoken about on here) and both my mum and dad (not together - struggle to meet day to day living - so I feel that pressure as well, more for my dad at he moment). Just needing to vent a little. I finally have no more tears to cry and I think I have finally run out of puff to even argue anymore.  Would like to find some peace in myself so I can better to and for those around me.

I'm so sorry to read this Skel. I've been pondering it a few days before deciding today to finally post. I'm not sure of how much value I can add, but I can add my own experience.

Far too much of your story was familiar to me. Far too much. I too had been with someone for a number of years, who cheated on me, though I didn't find out for almost two and a half years later, I too decided to stay in the relationship, he also lost his job in his chosen industry, was unemployed for a long time, refused to consider jobs which were not precisely what he wanted, left me holding the bag and him making no contribution, I too lost my ability to be kind and became mean and spoke without thought, I too ended up running out of energy. 

I found my peace when I finally realised he was a liability and I kicked him out. It was hard to reach that conclusion, mostly on account of the loss I felt for the relationship which I had committed to heart and soul, not to mention legally and financially, but the truth was, he wasn't in it with me anymore (assuming he ever had been which I actually now doubt).

I am now in a relationship which really does make me happy, with a man who truly is my partner, who has my back completely and is as committed to this relationship as much as I am. We share similar values and goals, though the execution of same doesn't always align, we are learning to work together. 

It now also appears it was good for him too. He did end up getting back into the industry he enjoys, he now lives the lifestyle he always wanted to enjoy but being in a committed relationship wasn't consistent with that lifestyle, and he has a girlfriend (and possibly also a child he would have had to have fathered while he was with me, but that is a whole other story) in Asia, which was also what he seemed to have always wanted.

Please do what is right for you. Not right for him and not what others expectations might encourage or discourage you to do. This is your life, you only get one, don't waste it being unhappy. Require him to step up and work with you so you can both be happy, or cut yourself loose so you can be happy and at peace. 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cranky, I'll send you a pm

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We'll chat Jo, but a summary...

Anyone in Australia can get 11 free appointments to a psychologist or year.  You get a mental health care plan in place at your GP's and they give you a referral.  After 6 appointments they do a review to approve the next 5.  But it can keep ongoing, I've been going 2 years now.  But this is for a psychologist, not a paediatrician.  A lot of kids will be treated by a paediatrician for mental health issues, but I think go to the specialists (psychologists).

ADHD meds do not necessarily work for everyone who has ADHD.  I've read it's about 90% they will help.  And some meds will work and some won't.  Non stimulant meds might be the answer.  If stimulants do work (and you do have to find the right dosage), they say it's like a switch turning on.  The effect is near instant.

You are suppose to feel stressed, this is stressful.  If you didn't find this stressful you'd probably be a psychopath.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest FFF1077

This thread, contuines to add high quality support and information to this community. 

 

If you want to feel good about being a Trannie. Just read through this thread and see before you the love that is shared openly. 

 

Excellent. Excellent work everyone ✌️😎

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The issues with overdiagnosing of ADHD and correctly diagnosing mental health issues in children is discussed in this paper 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/side-effects/201710/adhd-is-now-widely-overdiagnosed-and-multiple-reasons

something which is free and might be worth considering is this

https://www.qld.gov.au/community/caring-child/positive-parenting

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the issue I've had with the "overdiagnosis" of adhd, and I'm not knocking them at all, is because here it is often diagnosed by paediatricians, who also are able to prescribe all medications for it, up until the age of 18. After that you have to see a psychiatrist.  My diagnosis' have been done by psychologists and psychiatrists, those whose profession is around mental health.  Now I'm not knocking paediatricians at all, but I do believe that the formal diagnosis should be done by mental health professionals.  The right treatment can change lives, but it has to be right.  And, for instance, if you give stimulant meds to someone with bipolar...........

Note I have to be careful saying all that cause I was diagnosed at 35.  Which is a real bummer, because the meds are expensive if your initial diagnosis was made after the age of 18.  Had that happened (and it might have if I didn't bullshit my way past counselors) then they'd be nearly free for me now.  Instead they cost me $70/month.  It's still very much considered a "childhood" condition.  Women probably get the worst of it as they slip through the cracks more with ADHD than boys cause they tend to not have the "H" element, which I didn't have either.  I should mention, I'm on non stimulant ADHD meds......no tue for me.

Interesting note, my sister in law works at my kids school.  She was teaching a bit last year, but not at all this year.  Her job will solely be to identify the struggling kids, those in need of help, and start getting that help going.  The school is a top 5 school in the region, and the best performing school for girls in the region.  Out of 1500 kids she said she had 300+ on her watch list last year!  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My son has ADHD and also anxiety issues. 

The Adhd meds can exacerbate the anxiety issues and that’s what we thought was occurring with him. So much so that the anxiety symptoms were becoming worse than the adhd symptoms. We trialled taking him off his adhd meds last term but continued to give him a placebo otherwise being unmedicated would already trigger his anxiety. 

Its not perfect but it is a huge improvement. His anxiety has reduced greatly and with age he is better able to manage his adhd symptoms. 

I suppose what this all means is that there is a huge range even in adhd, my sons not the tear away type, more the moody defiant type. 

Good luck, often the hardest bit is getting the right diagnosis as children can find it hard to express what is actually going on. 

 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone

@skel I have no idea what to say, but I had a long term relationship breakdown at the end of 2017 and it was the best thing for me. I'm now with someone who is awesome, but I would have been ok single I guess.

@Cranky Yeah those ASD traits seem similar to my partners nephew. Damn even I prefer blankets!

I'm doing well, came back yesterday from a few days with +1s parentals at Port, already get along with his step mum better than my exes mum 😂 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 01/01/2019 at 9:23 AM, Cranky said:

Can someone tell me about councilling and how it works with a GP referral? Don't you get 8 sessions free or something or other?

My 9yo can be a hand-full, but nothing compared to what I've seen/heard through being a teacher. I think she has some ASD (Aspergers) traits. I have thought this for about 18 months. We saw the GP, got a referral, went to a Developmental & Behavioural Paediatrician. On the first visit, after looking at questionnaires from Dazz, her teacher, and myself, head having a chat to her, he said she might have ADHD. He then said that if it runs in the family he would be more convinced that's what it is. Dazz was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and let's be honest, I could probably pass the test for this one too! 🤣 We told him this and so he said to have a chat about it, and the idea of medicating, and we will see you next week. So after talking about it we decided that we would give medication a go. We went back the following week, the script was prescribed and we started the medication. After beating myself up for a few weeks about this (I don't like the stigma attached to Ritalin) I gave in and just let it be. She has been on the medication hour for approximately 5 weeks and after a trip to Wivanhoe Dam the other day and her being full-on in the car we decided that the medication was not working. The doctor said that if she was not ADHD it would hype her up. Because our lives are so busy it is very rare that we sit down and get to watch her behaviour closely. This one hour car trip each way was the perfect opportunity to see that there is no way in the world that Ritalin is calming her down at all. So then I went back to the idea of Aspergers. But after meeting with my best friend yesterday, who is also a very good and experienced teacher at our school, she thinks that her behaviour is more attention seeking than anything else. Mainly because every time she does something naughty, her dad reacts. It is true that when it is just us three girls (her, her sister and I) things are a lot calmer. I have the advantage that I have been trained in education and have attended many PD sessions on how to deal with children's behaviour. Dazz has not had these opportunities and also does not have the patience or tolerance that I have.

So back to the original question. Perhaps she is not ASD or ADHD and she is just being a little miss! She does have a lot of ASD traits, and I will list them in a second, but perhaps not quite enough to be on the spectrum. ?? Perhaps we just need some counselling to learn how to deal with this behaviour. (I don't think PPP is enough).

One day she is going to be something great. Her negotiating skills are like none I've ever seen! And she drags me in every single time!

Her ASD (?) traits:

Dealing with frustration - hits head
Doesn't like light touch
Like lots of blankets on top of get to sleep (weight?)
Forced smile, very uncomfortable
Misinterpret people's comments
Remembers numbers
Very specific/ detailed with descriptions
Likes to know what everyone is doing. Loves calendars and planning
Wears the same clothes every day
Won't look you in the eye for long
Negotiates ALL the time, never happy
Self centred
Great memory
Hand washing
Won't wear shoes unless she washes her feet first, if they feel dirty
Oppositional to Olivia & Dad
Random weird noises for no apparent rain.
Has trouble being still and quiet.
Very rough and fast with things ie closing doors
Bites nails

Looking at this list, some of those traits are very familiar to me 😮

Edited by AA7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been at bit down since I went to BBQ on Saturday and heard what someone was saying about me "you can't come back to work after you've had to wear a nappy" The truth is (as you can see from photos from earlier post) I kept taking nappy off even when I was still in intensive care. I was two months in hospital and had to relearn how to walk again coordination and balance were the issue I fell out of a wheel chair once. The physios told me only to walk on level ground and not to run. So I ran the Coastal Classic (see MTB/off-road ) I found the story of Tricia Meilli the Central Park jogger truely inspiring " the confidence gained from a physical achievement can be transferred to other parts of life" 

Recovering from a traumatic brain injury is a long hard road some days I don't even want to get out of bed yesterday was one of those days until I went on trannies and read Flanman's post about his cousins cycling achievements. Thank you for giving me a needed boost.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That person needs a size 12 steel capped boot up their *^%$# Clappers. Ignore the naysayers and prove the F*&%$%ers wrong!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people need a size 12 right in their mouth. :( 

This time of year can also be tough for those of us who have people to spend it with. People are so freaking judgemental!  You try to avoid, but sometimes you just cannot.

I've only met the +1s parentals on a few occasions, and only for a few hours. But to be spending 4 days with them I was nervous. 

I almost had thought having another relationship was beyond me as I did not want to have to go through the same bullshit as I did with the exes mother (for all of those 8ish years she did not like me as I found out later, and it was all surface traits, too fat, not fit enough, no beauty regimen). I tried to reduce my food intake in front of her, even if I had trained that day. Always tried to wear makeup. No drinking (as she did not drink). She was a nightmare.
 

+1 probably hates me now as I keep on asking if they like me or not. Apparently being asked back to their place without an invite (just tell them when we are coming) is a sure sign they like me (as well as his step mum making an effort to find me a nice Xmas gift).

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Clappers said:

I've been at bit down since I went to BBQ on Saturday and heard what someone was saying about me "you can't come back to work after you've had to wear a nappy"

OMG are you serious?!!! What kind of a person says stuff like that?!

6 hours ago, Dalai said:

That person needs a size 12 steel capped boot up their *^%$# Clappers. Ignore the naysayers and prove the F*&%$%ers wrong!

This ⬆️

5 hours ago, MissJess said:

 

+1 probably hates me now as I keep on asking if they like me or not. Apparently being asked back to their place without an invite (just tell them when we are coming) is a sure sign they like me (as well as his step mum making an effort to find me a nice Xmas gift).

This is great news! 👍👍

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I had a good chat to Goughy on the phone and he has giving me some great advice. Went and saw the GP earlier in the week and we have a mental health plan for Lily and heading off to a psychologist this Friday for our first session. 🤞

The GP gave her a questionnaire though and one of the questions on it was 'how often do you feel worthless'. She checked the box that said most of the time. This was on a scale of 1 to 5 with this being number 4. 😞

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest FFF1077
58 minutes ago, Cranky said:

So I had a good chat to Goughy on the phone and he has giving me some great advice. Went and saw the GP earlier in the week and we have a mental health plan for Lily and heading off to a psychologist this Friday for our first session. 🤞

The GP gave her a questionnaire though and one of the questions on it was 'how often do you feel worthless'. She checked the box that said most of the time. This was on a scale of 1 to 5 with this being number 4. 😞

Having spoken to @goughyon the phone myself, he's a very high quality human. ****ing awesome bloke actually. Makes it easy to find an excuse to do a road trip through Qld 😎✌️👍👍

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, FFF1077 said:

Makes it easy to find an excuse to do a road trip through Qld

Make sure you let us all know when you're doing it Sam. I don't get to many races to see other Trannies, so will take any opportunity I can to meet up with you guys.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No offence intended Cranky and I hope you take this in the right way.  From what I've seen your girls get a lot of praise for doing well at things and they are certainly aware of your own achievement mindset.  I'm not suggesting that they don't get praise for just being normal, good kids either and I think it's great that you encourage them so much but perhaps Lily is getting the wrong end of the stick?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest FFF1077
10 hours ago, Ex-Hasbeen said:

Make sure you let us all know when you're doing it Sam. I don't get to many races to see other Trannies, so will take any opportunity I can to meet up with you guys.

Yeah, you're top of the list mate 😎👍

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 08/01/2019 at 5:50 AM, Clappers said:

I've been at bit down since I went to BBQ on Saturday and heard what someone was saying about me "you can't come back to work after you've had to wear a nappy".

F*ck them mate. It's easy to say that when it's not you on the receiving end though and I know how much this shit can hurt but for somebody to say something like that they have to be seriously unhappy inside themselves so who's the real winner here? (Hint: It's you).

You did well not to give them both barrels, I would have lost my shit.

 

Whoops was expecting the swear filter to kick in... oh well, I'm angry and I mean it.

Edited by monkie
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Stikman said:

No offence intended Cranky and I hope you take this in the right way.  From what I've seen your girls get a lot of praise for doing well at things and they are certainly aware of your own achievement mindset.  I'm not suggesting that they don't get praise for just being normal, good kids either and I think it's great that you encourage them so much but perhaps Lily is getting the wrong end of the stick?

Hey Stickman,

I won't be offended but I don't quite catch what you're saying. (You're being too nice - just spit it out). Do you mean I push them too hard and expect too much? If so, no offence taken. It's probably true. That's what her pediatrician said to me too. If not, what do you mean?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know if you push them, all I know is what I see on FB but I also know that that doesn't necessarily show real life.  Your own personal satisfaction seems to be tied to your success or failure.  When you show most pride (publicly at least) in the girls seems to be tied to theirs.  Perhaps Lily measures herself in the same way and that's why she's not happy?  Whether she's more or less driven than her sister might give you a clue. 

Kids see everything and then try to understand it through the lens of their own self-centred viewpoint.  We parents aren't always the best examples of normal.  Of the pediatrician is being that direct about it though then it's certainly worth exploring, they are normally a bit more delicate unless they really feel the need is there for the child.  Nobody likes an interfering outsider when it comes to raising our kids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Stikman said:

I don't know if you push them, all I know is what I see on FB but I also know that that doesn't necessarily show real life.  Your own personal satisfaction seems to be tied to your success or failure.  When you show most pride (publicly at least) in the girls seems to be tied to theirs.  Perhaps Lily measures herself in the same way and that's why she's not happy?  Whether she's more or less driven than her sister might give you a clue. 

Kids see everything and then try to understand it through the lens of their own self-centred viewpoint.  We parents aren't always the best examples of normal.  Of the pediatrician is being that direct about it though then it's certainly worth exploring, they are normally a bit more delicate unless they really feel the need is there for the child.  Nobody likes an interfering outsider when it comes to raising our kids.

Very well said. Thanks for the outside view. Seriously, thank you!!

She's definitely no where near as driven as her little sister. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Cranky said:

She's definitely no where near as driven as her little sister. 

That might be the problem. Not being driven and being near someone who is can make some feel inadequate. Just seeing all of their achievements can make some question themselves. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Similar could happen with my son, compared to our daughter.  We try hard to never compare.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 09/01/2019 at 12:25 PM, Cranky said:

Very well said. Thanks for the outside view. Seriously, thank you!!

She's definitely no where near as driven as her little sister. 

From your weekend FB posts from parkrun, I assume that Lily is not really into it as much as Olivia? But I think it's great that she volunteers. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...