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The Mental Health thread

Mental Health  

306 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you suffer from a mental illness?

    • Yes
      98
    • No
      171
    • Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it
      39
  2. 2. Do you know someone who suffers a mental illness

    • Yes
      249
    • No
      32
    • Don't know but suspect they do
      27


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Katz, good luck to you! I hope it works out. Like others, I'm skeptical based on what you've told us, but I also think if it does go wrong again that you will be stronger and wiser for the experience, and you will cope.

 

BB - that's good news. I went to see a psychologist a few years ago after a break-up that I felt I just wasn't coping with. I was hoping for some hints on coping strategies, but came away feeling that she had given me nothing useful at all. She didn't even ask any questions that were at all penetrating. If I just wanted to talk to someone random, I could have done it anywhere without the bill. If I was in Canberra I'd ask you who you saw. Instead, I'll ask you how you came to find this particular person?

 

Was this break up when your old bike frame cracked?

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Was this break up when your old bike frame cracked?

Baha. No, although there were tears shed, that was one heartbreak that could be fixed with a credit card :-)

Edited by Wardy

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Was this break up when your old bike frame cracked?

 

That would make for an interesting metaphor :)

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Ok, I'm just after a vent and this is as good a place as any where it won't be seen! But my is BIL driving us crazy!

 

Over the years he's worked for me, started his own business against me (approaching my customers), lived with us through his separation/divorce, dated then married his ex-wifes best friend (he wasn't the one who cheated in his marriage, but he started dating her almost straight away (that made for fun times)). Now my wife always wanted to be a photographer, and years ago has even done some of our local TAFE's photography course (the highly rated diploma, not some snappers little course), has had a dark room and equipment, and has 15+ years of experience with photoshop etc these days. She's fantastic at resortaion work and digital imaging stuff, and even won a national competition Dell held to design a laptop lid pattern (in the open public national vote out of her 4 designs she entered she placed 1st, 2nd and 3rd, with the final 10 going to a judging panel (including people like the director of the national gallery or something) and one of hers being selected as the winner (could only be chosen once in the places). So yeah, I'm pretty darn proud of her skills and what she can do and would love for her to be well enough to take it further.

 

So now he's decided to become a wedding photographer. His photography background going into this - he owned an Olympus compact and his dad owned a lower mid level SLR. And he just thought he could do as good or better. It's frustrating her because this is what she wanted to do, and was studying it. She was also going out to assist one of the best in town on wedding shoots. You know, the hard yards stuff. He just picks up a camera, advertises, and starts doing shoots with everyone praising him. Now, I'm no photographer, but I studied media production at uni and he has a lot of work to do. First lot of portrait shots he did (luckily for family) I just wanted to scream at him Rule of Thirds!!!!. We've tried to encourage him to do some courses, but nup. Doesn't need that. And now everywhere they go he has a hulking big camera in his hands. I mean, I don't wanna sit in an a la carte restaurant with two friggin slr's on the table (his new father-in-law is also one of those people who for ever has a camera in their hands). And while on our cruise he gave Rob his camera to take a shot of him and the iso was set on 1600! I mean even I know that's wrong, and Rob nearly dropped the camera out of shock. And he showed us a pic he took of my daughter he said was lovely, which it is, she looks great. But she's sitting beside his daughter which he only has 2/3's in the shot. Sure, he was taking a pic of my daughter, but surely a photographer would know that you frame them both up in the shot! If we just want Jas then we can crop his daughter out. But, now the only way it will ever be a good shot is to crop her out regardless!

 

It's becoming more and more frustrating the more he goes on. Now he wants to do a photo book up of the cruise (using his and our shots) for his parents, and do we want a copy? They're only $200 for an A3! No thanks, Rob will do her own up we told him. Even more than photography, this is the sort of thing my wife is brilliant at (she's been using photoshop for 15+ years now) and he knows it (she has full subscription to Adobe Creative Suite as well). I spent two weeks convincing him that he needs to shoot in RAW rather than JPEG. And now we're just waiting to get all his photo's from the cruise (we're swapping all out snaps) just so we can see what iso he used and if he shot in raw or not!

 

And he'll pull it all off cause 99% of people won't have a clue. It's just so hair-pulling-out frustrating to watch him just 'decide' to do what my wife wanted to but can't any more. Sorry, but I needed a decent bitch and moan and we just can't keep doing it to each other any more.

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The problem's not him, it's the people who hire him. I accept that he has little idea but sooner or later he will be found out. The problem is that all photographers will be tarnished by his poor performance - just as all cyclists are tarnished when someone runs a red light.

 

FWIW, I started taking photos professionally in 1978 and this is certainly not an isolated case. I have one remaining photo contract I maintain but I'm not disappointed to be out of the industry - I am however disappointed in what the industry has become.

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That's a big rant and I actually don't think he's doing anything wrong, you're the one deciding to feel "affected" by it.

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I am with Rog, it's harsh but I don't see it as your problem. In real terms, what he is doing has little to no impact and what you or your wife are doing or want to do.

 

Focus on your goals and be happy he is passionate about something.

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Goughy as far as what's he's doing with regards your family I can see how you'd take some offence given your wife's position. I'm not sure there's anything you can do about it so best to bite your tongue and try to forget about it.

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Yeah yeah, I know it's my issue, not his. Just the whole shoving it in our face thing is annoying and increases our frustration. Like I said, I'm venting.

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My best friend's nephew committed suicide yesterday she is in the Sunshine Coast area, her brother is in Bowen but I haven't seen him for a number of years. Is there anything I can do for Paula's brother? I feel quite helpless. I am supporting Paula as best I can from a distance.

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I'll be buggered if I know what you could do, other than let them know you're there for support. Sorry to hear Ronnie.

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Just dropping in to say hello.

 

I think I might have mentioned earlier that I am medicated and have been since mid-2010 for the last stint (Lexapro). I made a change last year that turned me into a Project Coordinator, has resulted in a much more balanced life. In November I spoke to the doctor about reducing my dosage.

 

So far so good, down from 20mg - now started on 5mg today (stepped down fortnightly - then monthly for the smaller doses) feeling a little dizzy and headachey today, but have found it easier to lose the weight I put on (it made me crave carbs). Although this feeling could also be low blood sugar, I fasted this morning - made it to about 13.5 hours (usually 10) before giving in and eating.

 

Hope all is going well for everyone....can't read too much, at work...will try to read later!

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Anyone know of any good sites to look at for advice on dealing with all heifers sufferer's, in particular when they are adamant about something and distressed and need calming down? My wife's mother is getting worse and worse and I think he dad need help and guidance but won't go looking for it, and says support groups are not for him.

 

Be rang today because 2 weeks ago we took her to Brisbane with us to see my family for my mum's birthday, so she hadn't seen for a while. It was a fine day with no issues other than her asking the same things over and over, but my family dealt with it fine. Even the fifth time she asked about the dog with different coloured eyes, they just explained it like it was the first time she asked.

 

But today they were going to come over to our place and she started to get upset and didn't want to come because when we were all in Brisbane we all didn't treat her well. He just rang us to find out if anything happened down there? I even remember when leaving her saying it was nice to see everyone again.

 

Now, we all know why she is saying this. But I know he's insisting she is wrong and it's just exasperating things and upsetting her further cause he said she's claiming no one believes her. He has no idea how to handle this (not surprising, since when she asked him the other day 4 times how he went at Bridge, the last time he replied with 'I've already told you and I'm not going through it again). But in this case we don't have a clue either! It's kinda easy when she just doesn't remember something cause you just tell her again like it's the first time. I tried to tell him not to argue with her on this sort of stuff because it will distress her further, but he's adamant he won't have people being accused of things they didn't do. I need to find a way for him to get the right kind of guidance, without him feeling like someone is holding his hand, cause he's too stubborn for that.

 

**** me this is a sickening thing to watch. I mean, we've watched the shows, seen stuff about it. Heard from others. And god knows there's been enough mental health issues in my family alone to fill an asylum. But we could really use some guidance on where to go from here, and some reliable resources.

 

More and more in thinking she's gonna be living at our place before we know it.

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https://fightdementia.org.au/ ?

 

My SiL had to get her mum in a home very recently.

It was bloody painful for SIL, but her Ma is a bit better now.

Still not good, but not nearly as bad.

 

I'm not sure you can realistically contemplate putting her up at your place.

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https://fightdementia.org.au/ ?

 

My SiL had to get her mum in a home very recently.

It was bloody painful for SIL, but her Ma is a bit better now.

Still not good, but not nearly as bad.

 

I'm not sure you can realistically contemplate putting her up at your place.

 

Right. It's going to have to be minimal care or assisted care.

 

And that's just the short answer. I don't know what happens to your father in law and I don't know what your wife says (but your wife is partially disabled, as you have told us before) Is that right?

 

Mum went in for almost 10 years. My sister had twins and another child and could not cope with the situation. Mum got excellent care, but as the years went by she did not get many visitors and this was commented on by the staff. Sad, but she had no awareness the last few years. And this is also debatable because during my visits from overseas I could evoke a response from her.

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I told Rob this arvo that if he can't get his head around what he needs to do she might have to come live here. The look I got a a reply answered that! I guess I just think because I work from home and my wife is gone full time too, that she wouldn't be left alone much, if at all. And certainly is something happened to my father in law I'd have her here in a few seconds.

 

Thanks for the link. I'll check it out, even if it's just to help us.

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Thought this might be of use for a lot of the people venting on this thread.

The author Andrew Matthews is the uncle of a friend and I originally looked into the books to see his cartoons.

So much of what brings people down is purely by their own perception of the World - imaginary barriers standing in their way of being happy.

I really think some people on here would benefit from spending a couple of hours reading "How Life Works" and "Being Happy".

 

You could keep feeling overwhelmed by your feelings and problems for the rest of your lives or you could take a leap of faith, read his books for a few hours and maybe, just maybe it might change your point of view.

 

http://andrewmatthews.com/

 

 

 

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Sounds a lot like the Learned Optimism Seligman pushed in early 90s. I read that book and it had a positives impact on me at the time (might be time to revisit!)

I think it's called cognitive thinking these days (unsure).

Seligman etc ...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism

Edited by Mjainoz
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Tragic incident in Sydney today with a young mum succumbing and taking her 2yo son with her - just heartbreaking.

 

I hope everyone is going OK and if you're not, force yourself to get help.

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Just feeling very despondent for a while now. Can't get my spirits up. Just continual working and people always on my back, a pigsty house with no help from anyone else. I'm sick of being asked every night what's for dinner - is ****ing whatever I can be bothered with. And half the time they don't want it cause they're sick of awkward having it. Family have tried to force me to take holidays by giving us 3 weeks away this year. A cruise earlier, and last week the inlaws parked there caravan up at coolum for 4 weeks and gave us a week there. I knew it would happen; me and kids having a ball but after 2 nights have to head home cause wife is too sick to stay there. **** me I've been in a funk all year and can't get out of it, and don't think I want to. Asked daughter for help yesterday while I was working. Finished and came up and nothing done, so clean kitchen, cook, eat them hit the sack so I can watch the golf this morning. Hardly said a word to anyone. Getting very over everyone everywhere at the moment.

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Just feeling very despondent for a while now. Can't get my spirits up. Just continual working and people always on my back, a pigsty house with no help from anyone else. I'm sick of being asked every night what's for dinner - is ****ing whatever I can be bothered with. And half the time they don't want it cause they're sick of awkward having it. Family have tried to force me to take holidays by giving us 3 weeks away this year. A cruise earlier, and last week the inlaws parked there caravan up at coolum for 4 weeks and gave us a week there. I knew it would happen; me and kids having a ball but after 2 nights have to head home cause wife is too sick to stay there. **** me I've been in a funk all year and can't get out of it, and don't think I want to. Asked daughter for help yesterday while I was working. Finished and came up and nothing done, so clean kitchen, cook, eat them hit the sack so I can watch the golf this morning. Hardly said a word to anyone. Getting very over everyone everywhere at the moment.

That sucks.

Not sure if you're after suggestions or just want to vent.

 

 

Family meeting and work out what everyone can do to pitch in?

 

Sam does the washing up and the laundry (my 6 year old is able to sort and put on the washing - just can't hang it out because a) she's too short and B) I'm too fussy about how it gets hung up! )

 

Sally does the wiping up, putting away and takes out the rubbish.

 

If they're old enough to cook, make them cook one night each, and then take away one night, one night that you cook do up a double batch and freeze it in Chinese containers (spag bol and chicken tonight dishes are good for this sort of thing).

 

Find 10 mins every day to lock yourself away and close your eyes and put on some quiet music on.

 

Chin up

 

b19a5bfb157dd592f3088de31a93d731.jpg

 

Sent from my SM-G900I using Tapatalk

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Just venting I think. Been holding off this post for months, feeling stupid about it all. Just tired I think.

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Aw sorry to hear this; my thoughts are along the lines of Cranky's post. Have a chat with the fam "we're a team" & use the us, we, our words. It could be that youve always fixed things up, taken care of the crap, made sure it all happens so theyre used to you doing it all. Why would they think to change it if works! A holiday is great but coming home to 'same old, same old' isnt great. Tough as this may sound, Im thinking you need to change first. Yep! Your post isnt just a vent ... you know things need to change cos you cant keep this up. As Cranky says share the load. Your kids (sorry not sure how many you have) will learn life skills by doing this stuff. Cooking is a great one. Let them cook their fave meal & theyll want to do it. Cleaning, washing, putting out the rubbish are important jobs so get them to do stuff thats going to help everyone. If its not up to your standard, let it go, tell em theyre doing great & you appreciate it. Theyll improve. Your missus can order takeaway on her night for dinner, online shoping if you need to? Let go & get them involved. Could be worthwhile talking to a professional for some tips n tricks. Youre a good man Goughy & you need to be good to You. Good luck n hugs x

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Head's been dark for a while. Little things start tipping you over.

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Just venting I think. Been holding off this post for months, feeling stupid about it all. Just tired I think.

Takes bravery to be honest with self and others. Well done. Don't be hard on yourself.

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I hear ya Goughy, being the healthy one in the house just wears you down over time. Everything is all about everyone else and no-one seems to give a fk about how you are doing.

 

You just aren't allowed to have a bad day.

 

I don't know much and wouldn't consider myself wise, but I have learnt one thing. I am in the best position to give to others if I have something for myself. That means I am vigorously defend my training time and maintain a reasonable level of fitness. It gives me a sense of peace in what is often not a very peaceful life. This is all done in balance, my family need me but I make sleep sacrifices to have a bit of space.

 

Also if you can get 3 or 4 days away by yourself, do it. I did it last year to ride Amy's Gran Fondo and will do the same this year. Completely self indulgent but knowing I had received something made me much happier to give back.

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Wow, that survey for James' sister in law is just a bit too telling!

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Just venting I think. Been holding off this post for months, feeling stupid about it all. Just tired I think.

That's nothing. You should hear me when I'm tired!

Takes bravery to be honest with self and others. Well done. Don't be hard on yourself.

This.

 

Sent from my SM-G900I using Tapatalk

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Terrible weeks training. Missed 2 double sessions on Tues and Wed with fever, long run on Thurs felt like hell. Missed Fri. Long brick on sat (130 +8) completed. JUst got in the pool for 3k. Out after 1100m.

 

Definitely the worst week to date. Anyone else gone through the same?

Edited by Suburban Kid

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Mate try 8 weeks in sling and still more to go until see surgeon to see whether operation is required and if it is I am pretty sure I wont be having it as I pretty much over life as this is costing me work, money, enjoyment of life so what is the point carrying on.

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Mate try 8 weeks in sling and still more to go until see surgeon to see whether operation is required and if it is I am pretty sure I wont be having it as I pretty much over life as this is costing me work, money, enjoyment of life so what is the point carrying on.

 

 

I have, longer than that with 5 broken ribs and a punctured lung to go with it. Also broke my back and had 5 operations and staring down the barrel of another soon.

 

C'mon mate, remember, it's not the adversity we go through that defines us, it's how we react to it. Throwing in the towel is always an option but rarely the best one. Reach up and you'll find plenty of folks ready to help those that help themselves. :)

Edited by FatPom
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When I've been at my worst, it's keeping going when at my worst that tells me who I am.

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I've just had to ring the vet to come out for my best mate of 15 years. I knew it was coming, but hell this is hard.

 

I feel like shit.

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I've just had to ring the vet to come out for my best mate of 15 years. I knew it was coming, but hell this is hard.

 

I feel like shit.

 

Sorry to hear it. I recently went through it myself. It's a terrible, terrible time to endure. It hurts like hell, even though you know you're doing the right thing.

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For me, I went to the doc yesterday for a MHP. I am seeing a psych later today. The recent events in my relationship coupled with uni stress, plus work stress, plus financial stress have left me a mess. Currently being dead feels like the best solution as I can't see a way out. Thankfully, my cats keep me here every day. With luck the psych will be helpful.

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I've just had to ring the vet to come out for my best mate of 15 years. I knew it was coming, but hell this is hard.

 

I feel like shit.

 

Yeah, we had the vet come round a few weeks back and fare-welled our dog of 14 years. I really understand that saying "you look like your dog just died".

 

Hang in there EH.

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Thankfully, my cats keep me here every day. With luck the psych will be helpful.

 

Every time I thought about it I looked at one of my cats (who is very attached to me) and realised I can't leave him to fend for himself. Who else is going to peel his prawns? :D

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With luck the psych will be helpful.

Hope so too Katz.

If not, maybe to can go and be Miss Jess's Katz and live on peeled prawns! :D

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I'm not surprised with what you listed Katz, and I hope you get the help you deserve. You've taken a positive step.

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Seen surgeon today for 8 week scan results - No healing

 

8 weeks done every thing he told me to do and now I am ****ed. He will not operate as he says to risky in killing me and doesn't want to risk that.

 

Positive is have no pain a fracture site.

 

Now 8 weeks out of sling trying to regain movement and lifting no weight over 2kg and hopefully promote some healing?

 

I am pretty much crushed by this. I do the right thing all the time yet seem to be one that suffers every time. Don't smoke, drink, gamble, do drugs. Some how I have massive X on my back that keeps me getting crushed.

 

Thankfully my medical costs will be covered once I pay the excess

 

Unfortunately I am left with $800 worth of damage to my bike (which is only 2 months old) and no helmet.

 

Sorry for the sob story but had o get off my chest.

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Hope so too Katz.

If not, maybe to can go and be Miss Jess's Katz and live on peeled prawns! :D

 

It's only a sometimes thing! His birthday, or when we have had a few days away for a race weekend.

 

Things are going ok over here, I'm employed, I had a bad patch Feb-Mar where I was working for a micro-manager dickhead, stuck to the standard hours, kept to business like contact, called in "sick" a couple of days when enough was enough, and I could barely get out of bed. We cut each other loose in the end. Managed to find something with autonomy quickly, hopefully it will be a long term thing, but not counting on it!

 

Although I am getting mega pissed that I cannot seem to shake a shoulder and ITB injury. I try to be good and get fit, and all I do is bust something!

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I've just had to ring the vet to come out for my best mate of 15 years. I knew it was coming, but hell this is hard.

 

I feel like shit.

[emoji174]

For me, I went to the doc yesterday for a MHP. I am seeing a psych later today. The recent events in my relationship coupled with uni stress, plus work stress, plus financial stress have left me a mess. Currently being dead feels like the best solution as I can't see a way out. Thankfully, my cats keep me here every day. With luck the psych will be helpful.

Be strong Katz. Sorry I have nothing really useful for you. Hugs

Seen surgeon today for 8 week scan results - No healing

 

8 weeks done every thing he told me to do and now I am ****ed. He will not operate as he says to risky in killing me and doesn't want to risk that.

 

Positive is have no pain a fracture site.

 

Now 8 weeks out of sling trying to regain movement and lifting no weight over 2kg and hopefully promote some healing?

 

I am pretty much crushed by this. I do the right thing all the time yet seem to be one that suffers every time. Don't smoke, drink, gamble, do drugs. Some how I have massive X on my back that keeps me getting crushed.

 

Thankfully my medical costs will be covered once I pay the excess

 

Unfortunately I am left with $800 worth of damage to my bike (which is only 2 months old) and no helmet.

 

Sorry for the sob story but had o get off my chest.

Wow. That sucks. Sorry to hear. There must be a greater reason that you're being put through this. Stuffed if I know what it is though. [emoji22]

 

 

It's only a sometimes thing! His birthday, or when we have had a few days away for a race weekend.

 

Things are going ok over here, I'm employed, I had a bad patch Feb-Mar where I was working for a micro-manager dickhead, stuck to the standard hours, kept to business like contact, called in "sick" a couple of days when enough was enough, and I could barely get out of bed. We cut each other loose in the end. Managed to find something with autonomy quickly, hopefully it will be a long term thing, but not counting on it!

 

Although I am getting mega pissed that I cannot seem to shake a shoulder and ITB injury. I try to be good and get fit, and all I do is bust something!

Xx

 

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It's only a sometimes thing! His birthday, or when we have had a few days away for a race weekend.

 

Things are going ok over here, I'm employed, I had a bad patch Feb-Mar where I was working for a micro-manager dickhead, stuck to the standard hours, kept to business like contact, called in "sick" a couple of days when enough was enough, and I could barely get out of bed. We cut each other loose in the end. Managed to find something with autonomy quickly, hopefully it will be a long term thing, but not counting on it!

 

Although I am getting mega pissed that I cannot seem to shake a shoulder and ITB injury. I try to be good and get fit, and all I do is bust something!

 

Whats your shoulder injury?

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Cheers Goughy for the kind words.I am sure in time he will get on top of this at some stage.This week he acknowledged for the first time that he has an illness. That in its self is a starting point he can work on.

Well after my son's destructive manic episode last September 2015, we are finally starting to see some small signs of recovery. Firstly I had a win with the bank, but cannot go into detail.I managed to convince his part time employer to take him back to help with his recovery, and so far he has proven himself, and they have been great.

 

He is taking his meds, but the side effects with the Lithium are not that great,but it helps.He has done a lot of sole searching as this is his second manic episode, and the second one has I think made him realise he has this illness for life, and he needs to work with it.What saddens me the most is that nearly all of his so called friends have dropped him and want nothing to do with him anymore.They are all fairly young and probably not mature enough yet to fully understand, but they simply don't care for him anymore. I have told them that I hope they never suffer a mental illness, and to piss off.At least he has found out who his true friends are now.I have told him it is not the end of the world, but I know deep down he is hurt by this, as he grew up with a lot of them.

 

His pride and joy (a car) that he disassemble whilst manic and looks like something out of Mad Max Fury Road, has been sitting on our driveway all this time, as a stark reminder to him each day of what he did whilst he was manic. Yesterday I came home from work and he was in the car for the first time trying to put it back to together, which must have been hard for him to face, and I hope the start of his recovery.

 

Needless to say the last 7 months has been very draining (financially and emotionally) on myself and my wife, as we slowly help him back, and we can now see a small light at the end of the tunnel.

 

We just wish we could have our old son back right now, as we have forgotten what he was like pre-episodes.

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Whats your shoulder injury?

 

Seriously, no effing idea! I was helping put up a marquee before a club race and I must have moved oddly. Was sore, but thought it was stiff, pulled out of the race 250m into the swim.

 

Saw a physio, she said it was my neck.

Saw a massage therapist, she said it was my arm.

Saw an osteopath and he cracked the living daylights out of it, but the pain is still there.

 

I'm starting to think I go home now and see the physio around the corner from my house, he is great at fixing stuff, but that means I have to take a day off!

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Well after my son's destructive manic episode last September 2015, we are finally starting to see some small signs of recovery. Firstly I had a win with the bank, but cannot go into detail.I managed to convince his part time employer to take him back to help with his recovery, and so far he has proven himself, and they have been great.

 

Really good to hear from you BR. And it sounds like things are moving in the right direction. I think he's lucked out on the parent front. Parents of the year stuff. You and your wife deserve the kudos. He is a very very lucky boy.

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