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The Mental Health thread

Mental Health  

307 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you suffer from a mental illness?

    • Yes
      98
    • No
      172
    • Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it
      39
  2. 2. Do you know someone who suffers a mental illness

    • Yes
      250
    • No
      32
    • Don't know but suspect they do
      27


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I have read most of this thread over time, and the recent bits.

 

Turtle, FB, Nealo, Goughy, we have talked on occasion and I retained some earlier background on these problems, Turtle, have sent you a message on FB.

 

Katz and Miss Jess, don't know you guys at all, but have read over time all your posts.

 

I had issues in the past, not current. And I would not want to take the moral high ground either, because we all have issues all the time. Each time I open the thread and read "Do you suffer from a mental illness" I pause. I really don't know, but at least it's not debilitating.

 

Deeply moving guys and girls, all of the above. Notably you have released something by writing it out here. It doesn't help the problem but it must help to write it out. And it takes some guts. And it's noted that 95% of this is coping with the partners problems, and the partner is not the one seeking help.

 

Can't add a darn thing, but will read now and then.

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Ive just deleted my recent posts. I appreciate this thread is a good place to vent, and even get some tips or support.

 

But im getting to feel that among the good intentions there is an element of voyerism, and some quick leaping to make judgements based on what is never going to be a complete story.

 

Thanks everyone for the support though.

 

I have followed up with professionals at my end as i KNOW there is an element of my behaviour that is contributing to the issues and i want to address that. It needs addressing.

 

Thanks folls.

Edited by The Turtle

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Great news Dave! Have a great trip and some well earned downtime to de-stress.

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Well, things seem to have not gotten better for my daughters friend, and by extension for my daughter. Friday night she was getting txt's from her friend late at night that had her distraught and nearly hyperventilating she couldn't breath. In the end, her friend agreed chat (txt) to my wife, which settled them both down a bit. But yesterday Jas came home upset cause she's seen her friend has been cutting herself again, worse than before and it was visibly painful all day, in particular when someone bumped into her arm. She's going to great lengths to hide it but Jas can spot it. And she said she's been sad all day long.

 

Yesterday I contacted the school counselor again (who is the mother of one of my daughters primary school friends and we've known them for years). Last time my wife sent her some messages on facebook. But I'm getting worried about this girl. She's gonna get the school nurse to see her today (the nurse usually deals with the self harm kids, but also the counselor knows the family too and felt a bit of 'distance' was better) and will help as well. They were of the understanding that the family was under a treatment plan, but turns out (based on what she's told Jas) that she just fobbed the psychologist off in the sessions and didn't like her so isn't going any more. Jas said she won't/can't talk to her family or much older sister (who doesn't live at home), and that she's getting a lot of pressure to perform at school (come on, it's grade 8 only) and at her sport. She's asked if she can take a break from soccer but her dad apparently got angry cause they spent a lot on it (she plays soccer at a high level, doesn't play local club but plays across SEQ and has been invited to go to Barcelona for some aussie futsal team). They're not well off so I can only assume playing in teams of this caliber can cost a fair bit.

 

Jas has been waking up with nightmares the last few nights, and was screaming this morning. They seem to be about her best friends or family in peril. The counselor has told me she's gonna see Jas too, but I am wondering if maybe we should take things a bit further for her too. I mean, Jas is handling it well for someone who clearly is very empathetic, but she's had a few meltdowns about it already.

 

I don't know how much we should be sticking our heads into this. My wife's wondering if we should be talking to her parents. I even felt a little funny yesterday telling the counselor everything that Jas has told us, and qualified it by telling her that this is really kinda second and third hand info, but that we feel things are serious enough now that we didn't wanna leave anything out.

 

It just sux to see such a gorgeous, intelligent and talented girl clearly suffering like this. I mean, 12 yr olds shouldn't be going through this, they should be having fun. But saying it seems stupid when I wasn't much better back then, and was doing and acting much the same and have for 30 years now. God know's I've fobbed off my share of therapists over the years.

 

And it's got us all here feeling blah here. All I'm interested in is sleeping, really couldn't care less about training or anything, cause they means seeing people.

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Sorry to hear it Goughy. I wish there was something helpful I could say.

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What Katz said Goughy.

 

I think that you are doing all that you can and feel that you need to continue to do so for the sake of this young lady.

 

I know you won't, but please don't forget about your daughter. Get her the help she needs. Remember you can get up to 10 free consultations with a mental health expert / counsellor with a referral from your GP.

 

Cheers and good luck

Ayto

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Yeah, we've used them for our son before, and will look at that depending on how Jas goes with the counsellor. It's so frustrating cause we feel like we're sitting on our hands doing nothing, when I know there's not much more we can be doing. And she's such a nice kid!

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Grade 8. Goughy you said.

 

Are you absolutely 100% sure there are no drugs involved there? Have you considered that?

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Grade 8. Goughy you said.

 

Are you absolutely 100% sure there are no drugs involved there? Have you considered that?

 

Or something else, some other form of abuse. There would be an underlying issue that has prompted the actions. Hopefully the counsellor is good and can find out what it is and help take the appropriate action

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Or something else, some other form of abuse. There would be an underlying issue that has prompted the actions. Hopefully the counsellor is good and can find out what it is and help take the appropriate action

 

I agree.

 

Self-harm is generally seen as a coping mechanism and a symptom of a serious underlying issue such as stress, depression, relationship difficulties, bullying or abuse. I don't think there is any benefit in jumping to conclusions about drugs.

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Actually yesterday she came clean to Jas. Said you're gonna be really angry with me when I tell you, and fessed up. Jas then told her that she knew yesterday, and her friend was all good could you tell? So I think she knows she can't hide it from Jas anymore. Apparently it's in her school records that she suffers from extreme anxiety, and from what Jas says she feels like she has a lot of pressure on her.

 

Myself, I think she needs more help than a school can offer, and I think the counsellor knows that too, cause she was suppose to be seeing a psychologist as it was.

 

But I think owning up to Jas was a big step for her.

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Terrible to read of such adult problems at a young age when I think how care free I was at school.

 

Possibly, and obviously not in your control, a psychiatrist may be required to establish a definitive diagnosis and possible treatment plan.

 

Psychologists may be valuable but represent only part of a treatment team and are obviously not medical doctors. GP's are important in coordinating treatment but are not across mental health to the degree of a psychiatrist.

 

Whilst consults are hugely expensive in the private sphere, self harm would be significant enough to present at hospital and be seen by a psych but again relies on the parents.

 

Don't mean to point any fingers but the parental responses do not seem to ring true for a girl of that age in such turmoil. Is there any possibility of the family contributing to the root of the problem?

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I'd really like to post in the "good news" thread at some stage, but unfortunately not today.

 

Was formally advised yesterday of my redundancy, effective immediately. That's now 2 redundancies in less than 3 years.

 

Still don't really understand. It's certainly not a performance thing as in the last 2.5 years I have re-positioned the branch from bottom 3 nationally when I came on board, to currently sitting in 6th position nationally from 30+ branches. In that time, the business profit has increased 400% and customer satisfaction has increased by a similar margin.

 

End of the day, it's decisions made by those removed from the situation and it is all done without consultation or discussion. Seems strange to me, but the way it is.

 

Time for a break for a couple of weeks and will start looking in earnest after that.

 

Goughy, no words for your situation. Hopefully it works out for all involved.

Sounds like you have done a great job.

You need to take that story and pride to the next interview where no doubt your skills will shine.

 

I have seen many good people make themselves redundant through being a successful change agent in a poor situation.

Be proud.

Good luck !

 

Edit. I hope that sounds ok

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Edited by Mjainoz

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G'day Mjainoz,

 

Appreciate the kind words above.

 

Fortunately, I have now had the opportunity to post in the good news thread as I have accepted a new job offer and start 22 June. Head over to the other thread for full details.

 

Thanks again

Ayto

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It's been a poor couple of weeks.

 

My mother-in-law diagnosed with cancer and dies 7 days later. My wife is shattered, obviously from the loss but the shock of it all has really caught her out. We had dinner with her only a week before she was diagnosed. Funeral last week and both my wife and daughter have been to the psychologist (my daughter has a bit of history we need to be careful of). On top of that she's doing her HSC and the workload is really taking its toll. My wife is back to work but there's pretty regular breakdowns.

 

Then last week my uncle tells me my aunty is having problems with depression. I went to see her today to pick up some photo albums from when my mother (her sister) passed away last year. I walked in the door and she burst into tears and just hugged me for about a minute. I guess mum's death has affected her a lot more than I thought. She's going to the doctor this week and they are trying to get her new medications to help out. I think the reality of mortality is hitting her hard, she survived breast cancer several years ago but has lingering issues with blood platelets which I think is a side effect of the cancer treatment. She looks really fragile (mentally).

 

I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve by posting this but it's good to be able to share - at the moment it's not something I want to discuss around the house.

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Sorry to hear all of this Kim.

 

Not much to say except thoughts are with you and yours. And yes, it does help to share here so keep doing so if it continues to help.

 

Shoot me a message if you want to chat.

 

Cheers

Steve

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Kim, if it's any consolation, my mum died after a long bout of secondary cancer treatment. Knowing it is coming doesn't ease the pain, not even when I knew she was ready and we'd talked about how she felt about death and chosen the music for her funeral together.

 

The bond between mother and daughter is deep, and is it a wrench when it is broken, no matter the circumstances.

 

It took years until I stopped saying "I must tell Mum about that" and I still cry sometimes. She died nearly seventeen years ago.

 

Grieving can't be rushed. Seeing the psychologist is probably very helpful for you daughter to help her stay balanced through the HSC. Don't ignore the special provisions options either.

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Trinube - grieving process will be long and there is very little which can be done about it.

 

However - I would encourage you and those affected to write down their thoughts and feelings in a journal - it has a similar affect as talking to someone and offloading. It definitely helps a lot.

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thanks folks.

 

I'm actually pretty fine (I think), I'm more concerned for the wife and kids. Mum-in-law lived a couple of hours away so we saw her maybe 10 times a year. The kids were a lot worse when my mum died as we saw her at least 2 or 3 times a week. I think much of the anguish this time is the shock - came out of nowhere and next thing we know she's gone.

 

And Gill, I was only saying to someone last week I miss being able to share the news and gossip with mum.

 

Moral to the story is live well and don't procrastinate.

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I am so sorry to read of the sudden loss of you Mum in Law. Handling a cancer diagnosis for a loved one is hard enough to deal with without then having the time you need to say and do what needs to be said and done. My love and hugs.

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Haven't been on here for a few weeks and am sorry to hear of people's troubles. These things happen whether people post them on here or not, but it's great to read the level of support being offered by others. It all helps.

 

Moral to the story is live well and don't procrastinate.


Good advice. Like Ronnie suggests, make sure you tell your loved ones the way you feel about them whenever you can. You never know how much time we've all got left, make it count.

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I guess everyone has problems, Life is a journey, neither sad, nor happy, it just is, with no definition.

 

my fiance has left me to go and live with her dad i Sydney. I feel pretty overwhelmed being a bachelor at this stage in my life. It will be better for me in the long run as she had bipolar and used to cut herself, smoke synthetic drugs, be up all hours of the night, and so much more.

 

my best friend is my bed at the moment, i generally cant wait to get home from work and go to bed, watch something on line and hope i may get some sleep each night.

 

i have ceased all training and know i have to get out and do it, but at the moment, the bed is my home. i still survive at work as never bring my issues to work, but just getting through the day....

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Sorry to hear it Prince. Nothing much else to say. Just be sure to take care of yourself and do what you need to do.

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Really sorry to hear that Prince.

If retreating to bed helps, do that. Hopefully you will soon have enough strength to get out a bit more.

Please try to make sure you're at least eating OK.

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I guess everyone has problems, Life is a journey, neither sad, nor happy, it just is, with no definition.

 

my fiance has left me to go and live with her dad i Sydney. I feel pretty overwhelmed being a bachelor at this stage in my life. It will be better for me in the long run as she had bipolar and used to cut herself, smoke synthetic drugs, be up all hours of the night, and so much more.

 

my best friend is my bed at the moment, i generally cant wait to get home from work and go to bed, watch something on line and hope i may get some sleep each night.

 

i have ceased all training and know i have to get out and do it, but at the moment, the bed is my home. i still survive at work as never bring my issues to work, but just getting through the day....

 

 

Dam, that's rough mate, that's back to where you were around 2 years ago.

 

But clearly the woman you were with was also not good for you.

 

Sorry mate, can't offer advice, but maybe a visit back with whatever counseling you had before is probably the next step.

 

If it's me I'm off on a 2 week flight somewhere 2 weeks vacation to someplace where it's cheaper, much easier to meet people. Use your imagination.

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I agree with Kamal mate, take a break and get away for a while. I am sure that work will survive without you there for a little bit.

 

I'd be having a chat with the boss and seeing about some time off, even if just a few days. It will do you the world of good just getting some fresh air

 

All the best

Ayto

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I agree with Kamal mate, take a break and get away for a while. I am sure that work will survive without you there for a little bit.

 

I'd be having a chat with the boss and seeing about some time off, even if just a few days. It will do you the world of good just getting some fresh air

 

All the best

Ayto

 

 

unfortunately, a few months ago, i dd go to the boss, at about the middle of the day to ask for a half day off. This was when my mrs had already packedd some stuff up and said she was moving to Sydney. I sort of started tearing up. He had little compassion and although let me go for the afternoon, asked me to send an email all about it to another body that i report to who was in melbourne. I didn't really feel like sending another email and letting someone else know about my personal stuff.

 

the next day he gave me a dressing down about haven't not sent the email to the other boss. Since then, i got the message that no matter what, and i think some people should follow this, if a boss asks of 'how are things at home' i just lie and say things are great thanks, i came to the realisation that his boss and i am sure some of you have had similar situations, don't want you to show any kinds of weakness, My bosses are ASIAN, so maybe its their culture to 'expect employees to 'harden the f up. so this week and the last few weeks, although suffering greatly on the inside, i would tell them ;that everything in my life was good, no problems here and just suck it up.

 

so be careful who you tell things to at work is my point.

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I hear you Prince and it's a shame that you have such a work environment.

 

Time to up the ante. Get to your GP, explain what is going on and get a certificate for a week or so off work.

 

Don't be shy or embarrassed or think you are being weak. You are no good to anyone (including an employer) if you are no good yourself.

 

Your employer can't argue with a medical certificate so do what you need to do to get the break you need.

 

Good luck

Ayto

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Really really sorry to hear Prince! If the bed is the help you need for a little while, then use it!

 

My daughter actually said to me yesterday that some of her friends at school asked her and her bestie what it was like to have only one bedroom? Turns out her and her bestie are the only two in their group of mates who's parents aren't split. Seems like a national past time these days. Maybe it's just considered too easy to do these days.

 

I don't know how I'd survive without my wife (the tax dept would certainly have a lot to say to me), and without me my wife would have to move back with her parents as she'd struggle to get by without the help, and her dad is already looking after his wife with alzheimers.

 

I hope you can get stuff sorted with work. Sounds pretty crappy. Sometimes I hate working for/by myself, but there are times it seems a blessing.

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I haven't been around this place in years and only yesterday was talking to a fellow triathlete (would currently consider myself a former triathlete) up here with me for the GC Marathon about transitions and it got me thinking.

 

I still am drawn to this post, not just because of my experience but that of so many others.

 

The truth is that while the individual suffers quite often in silence feeling that they are alone and the only one is such a situation, there are others, so many others in similar troubles.

 

Help is at hand, help is out there.

 

When you can, and this is for anyone suffering, go to your local GP and open up. It is hard but it will be the best way to get the help and support you deserve.

 

I have been through the very worst of my problems and even to this day still speak with a counsellor from time to time just to clear any fog that may be building. Its the best relationship I have ever built.

 

For people like Prince and any others out there who's workplace is not empathetic or supportive of your personal plight, then seriously consider a change of employment. It is doing more harm than you would realise. It (that attitude) won't change in the short term.

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Couldnt agree more.

You are a package, you do your best when you have support in all facets of life. I have seen several comings and goings that are unplanned in our office, all with the support of management. Not having to worry about work and focus on you is better for the office in the long run becuase inevitably people return quicker and are more wanting to give back to the workplace that supported them.

Prince, dont leave it too long to get outside and walk, run, ride etc. evidently it can make matters worse.

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Sorry to hear that Prince, hope you are bearing up. As you know Mrs FP is originally Korean, she went for an interview with Samsung in the UK with a Korean guy. She didn't get the role because feedback was ' she has worked in Australia and UK too long and become too westernised'. ( read soft I guess).

 

Holding things in though can only lead to further hassles for your situation. If they won't change, then perhaps this is the catalyst for you to change employers?

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If it's me I'm off on a 2 week flight somewhere 2 weeks vacation to someplace where it's cheaper, much easier to meet people. Use your imagination.

 

Unfortunately, the way I read this, it's suggesting to go somewhere where you can buy a girl for company.

 

But I really hope this isn't the suggestion as I don't think that outcome would be really good for anyones long term mental health. I feel there's plenty of other ways to overcome a breakup and feel better about yourself than paying someone to have sex with you.

 

( I know it's probably quite common, but I know personally some blokes who do this and they are pretty much ridiculed by everyone else. )

 

If I've misread the suggestion, my apologies.

 

Although it can be hard, when considering short term solutions to feel better you really need to look at what that might mean for you long term. How many people have done silly revengeful things in the heat of the moment and regretted it? WE need to think about how we feel about those actions when the situation clears in the future.

 

Personally, I very nearly wrote something horrible in round-up on an ex's lawn once. Very glad I didn't. Short term satisfaction would have led to a longer term feeling of guilt and embarrassment.

Edited by The Turtle

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I agree that moving jobs can be an important positive change (amongst other things, since it's where the majority of your waking hours are spent).

 

It is, however, often something that unfortunately can take a long time (ie years) of waiting for the right opportunity (particularly if you have financial commitments that have you "locked in" until you can get an equivalent or better income stream).

 

Whilst this sort of golden cage is a first world problem, it can feel like a long hard slog that leaves you feeling drained and empty. I hope those that suggest it's character building are right...

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Whilst this sort of golden cage is a first world problem, it can feel like a long hard slog that leaves you feeling drained and empty. I hope those that suggest it's character building are right...

Whilst my cage is hardly golden, or even gold plated, I can totally relate to this.

At the same time, I don't have a lazy few thousand to do a 3 day course in something that might help me break out/upwards.

It is an improvement on the contract to contract roundabout I was on, but hardly enough to be a reason for optimism at this stage.

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i guess my point is perhaps just be careful what you share at work. Some work places are full of politics, which i can't stand and am so over at this stage in my life. It would be very easy for a 'so called good colleague to say..'oh such and such has problems at home, his mind is not at work' etc etc....

 

I am a HR Manager, but don't participate in this rubbish.

 

Sad i know, and i may be paranoid a bit and tainted by my current company, but although us Aussies try and promote we are understanding of ant mental illness, sadly i don't think this is the real case. Unless you are also ready for your whole workforce to know you are having some 'issues' best to keep quiet and pretend to all you are solid as a rock. That is the best advice i can give. Save your sharing to your really good friends and family.

 

My best defence i feel is to start my own business and employee my own people. I have so many things i have learnt on how to treat people, communicate and get the best out of my people. It is also not always about the wage. Did you know that salary actually is significantly down the bottom of the list of what people want on a job. Bit i digress...

Edited by Prince

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Agree a bit with the Aussie thing. My best mate glazes over if I say anything, so i just don't anymore. And a few years ago when I was really struggling and first started on antidepressants, I opened up to one of my best mates about it. We're part of a large group of mates. He suggested I don't tell any of the others anything about it. Never spoken of it again. But I know my wife has spoken with all their wives about it all at length with no issues. And some of those guys have had their own problems over recent years, though never openly discussed.

 

Honestly love this thread. Been part of other forums, for much longer and with people of say I know much better but a thread like this would be a total failure on them.

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Unfortunately, the way I read this, it's suggesting to go somewhere where you can buy a girl for company.

 

But I really hope this isn't the suggestion as I don't think that outcome would be really good for anyones long term mental health. I feel there's plenty of other ways to overcome a breakup and feel better about yourself than paying someone to have sex with you.

 

( I know it's probably quite common, but I know personally some blokes who do this and they are pretty much ridiculed by everyone else. )

 

If I've misread the suggestion, my apologies.

 

Although it can be hard, when considering short term solutions to feel better you really need to look at what that might mean for you long term. How many people have done silly revengeful things in the heat of the moment and regretted it? WE need to think about how we feel about those actions when the situation clears in the future.

 

Personally, I very nearly wrote something horrible in round-up on an ex's lawn once. Very glad I didn't. Short term satisfaction would have led to a longer term feeling of guilt and embarrassment.

 

I do not at all follow your line of thinking or even have the faintest clue what you mean. My advice is to the OP. It is called a vacation.

 

Do you have any advice for Prince?

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I do not at all follow your line of thinking or even have the faintest clue what you mean. My advice is to the OP. It is called a vacation.

 

Do you have any advice for Prince?

You said go somewhere its cheaper and easier to meet people. With ur imagination. I said i apologise if i had the wrong inference.

 

My advice was to not do something in the heat of the moment you might regret later - using my own example.

 

this is not the place to get into symantics. Since u feel i misinterpereted you, i will remove my post tomorrow on my computer

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I don't know if this is just a vent or an ask for what can I do, and it's something which has been grinding on me (and my wife I know) for years and just keeps getting worse. Didn't really wanna post a separate thread about it.

My wifes weight is out of hand, and we both no it. She's not well (some here will know a little about it) but it makes it bloody hard to impossible for her to physically do anything about it. It frustrates her and she get's upset about it, which then frustrates me even more as it feels like a 'well do something about it', knowing that there's not really much we can do about it. She has a sedentary lifestyle and her conditions restrict what she can do. I know it's not because of the weight, cause overweight people get out and still do stuff (they go shopping, etc etc). But if she does anything it can take up to a week for her to recover. Our weeks holiday last year she only left the apartment 4 times (twice were to go to dinner), and she saw nothing of the kids at parks, or the beach. And she was still wrecked by the time we got home. My dad's given us another week away next holidays, and her parents are taking all of us (her brothers family too) on a cruise after xmas, and we're now at the point of talking about wheelchairs so she can get outside and see stuff.

 

About 7 years ago we had it out over this and she signed up through the Wesley Hospitals weight loss clinic (which I felt was better than those pharmacy ones). She was having regular sessions with dieticians, pt (which she mostly couldn't do), shrink etc. But as she got sicker and had to quit work etc they let her out of the contract as it wasn't helping. While she's never been 'active' active, when we were in brissie we both worked at a gym facility (her in childcare) and she was doing regular aerobics etc but still was gaining then. Her early conditions exasperated that, which went undiagnosed till we were having kids years later, and her current stuff means she just can't move around. She doesn't eat much, only two meals a day (doesn't snack much) and while I get takeaway once a week, she rarely has it herself, usually having a salmon or prosciutto sandwich.

 

I'm just stuffed with what we can do. We bought a treadmill for her last year which has mostly been unused. But again, a few weeks ago we had to go to brissie city to the dutch consul, and I worked out in the 4 or so hours we were there she covered no more than 2km, but was totally exhausted, nearly falling at times and has started using a cane, thankfully. She walked no more than 500mtrs without a significant break (like lunch etc). And she's been dizzy and shaky since. I'm just ****ed knowing what we can do. She sees her doc regularly, and has a new specialist as well (someone local rather than gatton/ipswich based), but none of them seem to expect her to be able to do anything. But it's frustrating the shit out of me, and her. She hates being around our friends, all the wives are fit and healthy and she just doesn't feel like being around them, she feels out of place. So we rarely see anyone. I try and convince her to go out and have a coffee with mates etc, but she just won't. She's hermitted it up, even more than me. And I know it bugs her too, and I won't lie and it feels shitty to say it bugs me a little too, but she's a stunner who left them all for dead. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'd like to have her back. But it's never been an issue within our relationship, cept, after being unwell for years and having had vaying different diagnoses (including spending a year diagnosed as a celiac only to be retested after a year and be negative) I brought it to a head and we had it out and then we came to the conclusion that the Wesley was the way to go. But since then her illness's have been more defined and restrict her physical activity.

 

Honestly, I'm just feeling very lost with all this (have been for years now) but she is missing so bloody much stuff, in particular with our kids. And yes, I'd love her to come to the odd tri and bring the kids etc instead of going away (rarely) on my own or with a mate. Maybe I should be talking to someone else about this. This is the first time I've ever really spoken about it and I think it's just reaching it's end, in particular with these upcoming holidays and knowing that she's gonna spend most of her time missing it all again. I think I'm just frustrated as. But I feel like a shit for some of the stuff I think about.

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there are issues here which I won't even attempt to go near, however in relation to weight loss…. eldest sister and dad have been overweight (seriously for sister, moderately for dad) for years, tried every diet under the sun - sister is pathologically allergic to any form of exercise - father has balance issues which prevent exercise. 18 months ago they embarked on the 5:2 diet. 5 days of normal eating 2 days of restricted eating - they didn't want to fast so limit themselves to 700 calories for those 2 non consecutive days. fast forward to now it is a way of life and they are within the normal range of their weight. my sister almost cries every time she talks about the difference this has made to her life. She now even goes for an evening walk. any rate that's my N+5 experience (the other 3 are friends of my father and sister who also converted to this way of life. good luck.

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Not sure what advice I can offer, perhaps another specialist and doctor who encourage movement?

 

Sounds like she is limiting calories anyway, so I guess movement is the next step.

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Given that she has a chronic illness, you really should work with her doctor to find a solution to the weight issue that doesn't cause other unwanted side effects.

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Goughy - exercise is not the answer - I think you should not even discuss that with her if she is very overweight. By constantly urging her to exercise you will cause her more depression.

 

I would suggest you take her to a holistic (ok not talking about voodoo practicing looney's) medical professional who can do a whole range of blood test and food allergy tests to determine some root causes of the problems.

 

I visited Dr. Henry Stulzman and through his testing I found I was very low on Selenium and Zinc which are essentials for the thyroid hormone production. I have been suffering from low activity thryoid for years and no one even bothered to look at these. The jest of the matter for me was that until you fix the root cause you may not see real benefits.

 

If she is putting on weight even with low food intake - ofcourse her metabolism is very slow and everything she is eating is getting stored as fat - no wonder she doesnt have any energy. There could be a lot of reasons behind it which cant be ascertain unless a deep analysis of her blood/urine work is done.

 

It will cost you a bit of money (some of it is refundable through medicare) but I think it would be million times worth the money.

 

and dont take this as a plug but if she does do HFLC diet - it will help her immensely. She can enjoy all the food she likes in whatever quantities.

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Jeeze I was moody this morning! It just gets so frustrating every now and then. She's got a new specialist (rheumatologist) who is kinda starting all over again. She'd been with her previous one for years, but he just sorta stopped returning her calls, and after her last appointment had to be cancelled never got back to her or replied regarding rescheduling. the new one she sees is the only one in town, and we'd been trying to get Rob on her books for about 7 years. My doc mates say she's very good but tough and won't take any shit.

The list of tests she's had Rob do was pretty extensive, and unbeknownst to us expensive. We've never paid for tests and s&n before (especially since she's on a pension card) but this batch were like $500. But much more extensive than the last guy, plus bone and bone density scans. It looks like she may have a problem with her thyroid but we have to wait and redo some in a few months to see.

She has put her back on methotrexate which she has been on in the past, so it's feeling a bit like starting all over.

She actually spoke to Rob about gastric banding, until they discussed her current diet. But she said there are some studies being done which show that even if it had no effect on you diet and eating, the body seem to react to the band in a manner that can help reduce inflammation.

I really don't wanna be the person who pushes the 'you need to exercise' thing. But I don't know what else will help. It's been a decade now of nothing helping, and some things like the steroids, making it even worse. It's worse now than when she was at the Wesley, and I just can't see how it's ever gonna change. At least an arvo run has settled me down a bit.

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