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The Mental Health thread

Mental Health  

302 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you suffer from a mental illness?

    • Yes
      97
    • No
      168
    • Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it
      39
  2. 2. Do you know someone who suffers a mental illness

    • Yes
      246
    • No
      31
    • Don't know but suspect they do
      27


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9 minutes ago, surfer101 said:

 Maybe plan something for after IMNZ so you have something to look forward to?

Yep. Planning races throughout April and May already :D

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Just now, monkie said:

Yep. Planning races throughout April and May already :D

Then why don't you reframe it. Instead of making NZ the pinnacle, have as another goal for 2018 overall.  you can reduce the feeling of PRB and put the race in context.

This also gives you a plan and mental safety net if for some reason IMNZ doesn't go the way you hoped it would.

 

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Well I've let myself into a world of hurt lately. My shrink suggested a book that would be worth me reading and after a few false starts my wife finally found it. Less than half way into it and it's been a bit of a revelation seeing myself in much of the pages. It's also helped explain how my wife, down a plethora of drugs every day, in constant pain and overweight, yet has a positive attitude and I just couldn't fathom how. But we've just got back from my week off, a week away her father died the whole family on, and had it not been for Friday it would have been a total loss.  My family can get a bit overwhelmed bring around the rest of the fam constantly, so even before we headed away I felt barraged by constant whining about how much they're not looking forward to this, whereas I desperately needed this forced break. Then assist from the complaining about being uncomfortable and how hot it was, 4 out of the 7 nights there were issues, my son sleeping in our bed and me in his bunk bed a few nights. My daughter crying one night that she just wanted to come home. Then Thursday my son had a tantrum which ended with me having a mini snap I guess, and let out a few things if only told my shrink I didn't want my wife to know, and freaked her a bit. But I just can't comprehend how they didn't seem to get how important this little bit of time was for me.  I ended up spending pretty much all day Friday sitting on the deck by myself, listening to music, reading, and staring at the Broadwater, and I'm a bit better. But I've spent much of the time feeling angry and frustrated and now it's back to that Monday.  

Luckily my next appointment with my shrink is Wednesday, cause I'm a bit freaked. And not sure how to feel or what to do. I really need to find some zen. The book has been interesting, a bit of a revelation.

I also realised I've been having no fun with my training. It's felt like work rather than a release. In particular my cycling group has gone Strava obsessed and it's all about KOM's and qom's and "secret" training etc. A bit like reading the trannies Strava thread, which is why I haven't joined.  But obsessing about how badly I do compared to everyone else isn't helping, so I'm gonna do what I did a few years ago after a freakout before Noosa, and just stop recording. I'm mean, I'm crap anyway and that ain't gonna change, so why care and why not just do it for fun and socialising.  But I need the mental break.  Sorry about the vent but **** me I'm frustrated.

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Vent away Goughy. That's what we're here for. And the thread.

 

If you need anybody to talk to, just let us know. 

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8 hours ago, goughy said:

I also realised I've been having no fun with my training. It's felt like work rather than a release. In particular my cycling group has gone Strava obsessed and it's all about KOM's and qom's and "secret" training etc. A bit like reading the trannies Strava thread, which is why I haven't joined.  But obsessing about how badly I do compared to everyone else isn't helping, so I'm gonna do what I did a few years ago after a freakout before Noosa, and just stop recording. I'm mean, I'm crap anyway and that ain't gonna change, so why care and why not just do it for fun and socialising.  But I need the mental break.  Sorry about the vent but **** me I'm frustrated.

Tough to read Goughy, I hope you are feeling somewhat better now.

As you know, aside from a private account in Zwift, I do all my training disconnected from any kind of recording platform. One because I don't feel the need to record it (and I like 'naked' handlebars) and two, because I've noticed that with all the other platforms, there seems be a social media vortex that some folks get sucked into.  

Here's one thing I've noticed about you, that is you seem very 'connected' with news stories, what's on tv, who said what about this that or the other. Not having a shot, loads of folks are like that but if you are like that, the pressure that comes with something like strava, will only increase that pressurised feeling and reduce the enjoyment of why we train.

Turn the gadgets off and just turn those legs over, at least for a while and at the very least, you won't be adding to your current woes.

 

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Sounds intense Goughy. 

 

Occasionally saying **** it to the world and training and living off the grid is good. Not having a place where you can get away from stress is tough too, so just training without the stress of performance will be good. 

 

And venting is the best. Has to be done occasionally. 

 

Take care 

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I cant add more than what others have however taking care of You is very important for You. Sounds like that time on your own, reading, looking at Broadwater gave you some zen. If you can give yourself an hour of that, every weekend, you'll have something to look forward to. Tell the fam this is what you need. The kids are old enough to understand. Your wife will support it. Then do it !  Hugs x

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It's too bad you are not here in the Riff, our guys love a good strava segment and competitive banter, but we also love dragging people on rides to help them improve. We helped pop a guys "Hawkesbury climb cherry" yesterday, it was rewarding watching him get shit done.

Vent all you want!

On my side, THE KEYS HAVE BEEN RETURNED!

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On 1/14/2018 at 5:20 AM, FatPom said:

Tough to read Goughy, I hope you are feeling somewhat better now.

As you know, aside from a private account in Zwift, I do all my training disconnected from any kind of recording platform. One because I don't feel the need to record it (and I like 'naked' handlebars) and two, because I've noticed that with all the other platforms, there seems be a social media vortex that some folks get sucked into.  

Here's one thing I've noticed about you, that is you seem very 'connected' with news stories, what's on tv, who said what about this that or the other. Not having a shot, loads of folks are like that but if you are like that, the pressure that comes with something like strava, will only increase that pressurised feeling and reduce the enjoyment of why we train.

Turn the gadgets off and just turn those legs over, at least for a while and at the very least, you won't be adding to your current woes.

 

I think there's truth to that. I'm a bit news obsessed. Like to know what's going on, always read the letters to the editor etc.  But gee it's nice to be blissfully ignorant and just live my life and not be worried about the woes of the world. It's more peaceful.

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On 1/14/2018 at 12:09 AM, goughy said:

 Then Thursday my son had a tantrum which ended with me having a mini snap I guess, and let out a few things if only told my shrink I didn't want my wife to know, and freaked her a bit.

I did a similar thing, although not to this extent by the sounds of it, just before Christmas.  

It is hard keeping secrets in a married relationship and it had been dragging me down because I was too scared to tell my wife my true thoughts.  I am not sure what it was that you didn't want your wife to know, but hopefully, in the long term, she is better for knowing it.

I had booked in to see a doctor about my mental health before my snap but afterwards I cancelled the appointment as I just felt a weight had been lifted.  Hopefully you get to the same place.

As far as not being able to keep up with everyone, follow me on Strava mate and you will have no issue having someone to compare too and feel ok :wink1::wink1:.  I am just a golfer who rides his bike occasionally at the moment!

 

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Well, I keep on diving in and out of despair. For a moment there I feel happy that I am moving on and I am getting shit done, then next I start wondering if I am going to die alone and think about accelerating the process and just stopping the misery. 

A month ago, I let someone know how I felt about them and was rejected, all of the signals were there, I swear I was reading him correctly, but after that rejection I am too scared to make any moves with anyone else for fear of being rejected again. Oh well. I have no idea how to deal with the opposite sex anymore. It's driving me nuts! 

Forever alone!

 

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It'll happen Jess & probably when you least expect it. Keep smiling, keep doing your thing, keep on being a great chick - that will make you enjoy your life & when youre smiling others smile with you xxx 

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Jess please just forget about trying to find a partner for a while.  You're only just out of a relationship that you left hurt and probably angry, you need to really deal with that before you can be good in any future coupling.  Don't sabotage the next relationship because of this one.

Learn how to have fun by yourself and with friends who you don't bite as potential partners.  Go out to dinner or a show by yourself and enjoy the experience without wishing you had someone there with you.  Do what makes you happy and you just might run into someone who shares enough of your interests, hopes and dreams to spend the rest of your life with.

When Mr Right comes along (and he will) he will thank you for being able to take him as he is without the baggage of the past getting in the way.  You need to be able to be 100% you as a single for him to know whether you're both compatible.

I used to think I should have to mould myself to suit my partner to make sure that they were happy but the truth is it only made me resentful when I felt it wasn't returned, but why would it be when they didn't know who I really was because I'd been what I thought they wanted?  I'm now in a great relationship where we can both be ourselves without fear because we've never been anything but honest and there are no surprises or big differences of values.  Yes, both of us have personal histories to deal with but with trust and honesty it is almost disturbing easy.

When you feel that you don't need a man to be happy Jess you will find one that you can share the love you only dream of.

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What the others said Jess.  There's probably lots of perfect matches out there who are also lonely and just waiting for you to come along.  It may take a little while, but sooner or later they'll find you.  In the meantime just try and keep doing the things that keep you healthy and happy.

Edited by Go Easy
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And remember Jess, a relationship doesn't define you, only you define you. Make sure you fall in love with you too.  That will shine through.

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8 hours ago, MissJess said:

Oh well. I have no idea how to deal with the opposite sex anymore. It's driving me nuts! 

 

 

I can onlyecho what the others said Jess, don't despair. 

 

Rest assured, on the point above, you are most definitely not alone. B)

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Give it time Jess. Don't be in a rush. It will happen when you're really ready. Don't try and rush the process or you will end up repeating the same kind of mistakes that got you where you are now. Take the time to fall in love with yourself and the life you have created for you. Now that may mean you need to do some work on you and/or your life, but if you do the work and take the time, you will be well rewarded. 

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23 hours ago, MissJess said:

Well, I keep on diving in and out of despair. For a moment there I feel happy that I am moving on and I am getting shit done, then next I start wondering if I am going to die alone and think about accelerating the process and just stopping the misery. 

A month ago, I let someone know how I felt about them and was rejected, all of the signals were there, I swear I was reading him correctly, but after that rejection I am too scared to make any moves with anyone else for fear of being rejected again. Oh well. I have no idea how to deal with the opposite sex anymore. It's driving me nuts! 

Forever alone!

 

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL 

 

I have hit and missed soooooo much since I have been single. Recently deleted my dating app account and I will just do my own thing for the next while. 

 

What's helped me out is that I say to myself "I'm a great guy and I am happy with myself, and I am ok by myself". It helps but doesn't fill the "I need a cuddle/hug" need. 

 

Take care of yourself Miss Jess. ✌️

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18 hours ago, Stikman said:

Jess please just forget about trying to find a partner for a while.  You're only just out of a relationship that you left hurt and probably angry, you need to really deal with that before you can be good in any future coupling.  Don't sabotage the next relationship because of this one.

Learn how to have fun by yourself and with friends who you don't bite as potential partners.  Go out to dinner or a show by yourself and enjoy the experience without wishing you had someone there with you.  Do what makes you happy and you just might run into someone who shares enough of your interests, hopes and dreams to spend the rest of your life with.

When Mr Right comes along (and he will) he will thank you for being able to take him as he is without the baggage of the past getting in the way.  You need to be able to be 100% you as a single for him to know whether you're both compatible.

I used to think I should have to mould myself to suit my partner to make sure that they were happy but the truth is it only made me resentful when I felt it wasn't returned, but why would it be when they didn't know who I really was because I'd been what I thought they wanted?  I'm now in a great relationship where we can both be ourselves without fear because we've never been anything but honest and there are no surprises or big differences of values.  Yes, both of us have personal histories to deal with but with trust and honesty it is almost disturbing easy.

When you feel that you don't need a man to be happy Jess you will find one that you can share the love you only dream of.

Awesome. Really good stuff 😎👌

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Thing is I pretty much had the last 2 years doing that - that was about the time it changed from a partner to a mere housemate.

Last 7 months I have been creating a life for myself. Just wish I could read men a little better LOL. 

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57 minutes ago, MissJess said:

Thing is I pretty much had the last 2 years doing that - that was about the time it changed from a partner to a mere housemate.

Last 7 months I have been creating a life for myself. Just wish I could read men a little better LOL. 

Don't bother. We're strange creatures 👍

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