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The Mental Health thread

Mental Health  

300 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you suffer from a mental illness?

    • Yes
      97
    • No
      166
    • Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it
      39
  2. 2. Do you know someone who suffers a mental illness

    • Yes
      244
    • No
      31
    • Don't know but suspect they do
      27


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tortoise    829

Flannie

My son's godmother died of a cerebral aneurism at 33 weeks pregnant.  Her baby was delivered by Caesarian and survived well. 

Her husband said even soon after, while he was dealing with grief and a premmie baby in NICU, that the discipline of dealing with all the mechanics of death was something that was very helpful in coming to terms with life without Robbie.  He had a huge support network to keep him grounded. 

25 years later I still miss one of my best friends, but Dave has moved on, not that he ever stops grieving in various ways. 

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trinube    1,108
9 hours ago, Flanman said:

My daughter came home in tears on the weekend and has been in mild shock for a couple of days. Her friends' husband had an  accident on the weekend and passed away. 28 year old with an 11 month old baby. He is self employed and his wife has a part-time self employed job.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/newslocal/macarthur/campbelltowns-rugby-league-community-is-in-mourning-after-the-death-of-east-campbelltown-eagles-legend-wayde-dunley/news-story/daa60e61c1682cc149b9cfdb8a67b0f1

Rock fishing is one of the most dangerous sports in Australia. It is an absolute shame that a life so young is lost.

I read about this earlier in the week - he played football for the Wests Tigers lower grades and was apparently a very nice young bloke. I'd be hopeful the club will assist a bit as will his former team mates.

Best wishes for your daughter Flannie, it sounds like she'll be great support to her friend once the shock passes.

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FFF1077    146

So, after three months and 6 days of knowing and supporting my friend/girlfriend, I broke up with her this morning.

 

I was difficult given that our relationship started pretty much when she attempted, and nearly succeeded, suicide. I did actually feel trapped for the last two months of it. Like if I left I would tip her over the edge and she'd do it again. I felt responsible for her actions.

 

It was and will be bloody tough over the next while. But it got to a point where she was leaving me sleepless and stressed and it negativly effected the rest of my life too much. 

 

I do feel like I have failed her and her kids but I have to look after myself and my daughter and my life.

 

Hope everyone is ok. 

Sorry for the long time no post then dump, but I needed to vent.

 

Take care all. 

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-H-    618

Hope you're okay.  It certainly sounds like you had to make the break for the sake of your health and happiness, and your daughter.  So well done for making the tough call that had to be made.  Doesn't make it any easier, I know.

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FFF1077    146

Thanks H 

Definitely the hardest decision I have ever made so far in my life. I wish her all the best. 

 

 

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Flanman    1,112
26 minutes ago, FFF1077 said:

Thanks H 

Definitely the hardest decision I have ever made so far in my life. I wish her all the best. 

 

 

And we wish and pray all the best for you too FFF. 

FM

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roxii    4,116

Sorry to hear it mate. 

Unfortunately as we get older and have people dependant on us decisions get more difficult as we have varying degrees or welfare and feelings to consider. 

Only you can decide what is right for you and your family and you have to trust that you have made the right decision and move forward. 

Goid luck for the next few weeks mate. 

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goughy    2,147

It was a very tough and brave decision to make FFF. And I know you will struggle with yourself having now made it. But sometimes the tough decisions have to be made, not just for yourself but also your family. 

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FFF1077    146
On 8/12/2017 at 4:53 AM, goughy said:

It was a very tough and brave decision to make FFF. And I know you will struggle with yourself having now made it. But sometimes the tough decisions have to be made, not just for yourself but also your family. 

Cheers.

Everyday since I've had this feeling of dread, but I must do what is best for me and not be held to ransom. I can't concerntrate on anything.

 

It will pass, but for now I am pretty screwed up.

 

*more than usual...lol 

 

Thanks everyone.

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Ayto    347

Keep at it mate.

Love yourself first. The rest all falls into place..........

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pieman    403
On 8/11/2017 at 8:12 PM, FFF1077 said:

So, after three months and 6 days of knowing and supporting my friend/girlfriend, I broke up with her this morning.

 

I was difficult given that our relationship started pretty much when she attempted, and nearly succeeded, suicide. I did actually feel trapped for the last two months of it. Like if I left I would tip her over the edge and she'd do it again. I felt responsible for her actions.

 

It was and will be bloody tough over the next while. But it got to a point where she was leaving me sleepless and stressed and it negativly effected the rest of my life too much. 

 

I do feel like I have failed her and her kids but I have to look after myself and my daughter and my life.

 

Hope everyone is ok. 

Sorry for the long time no post then dump, but I needed to vent.

 

Take care all. 

 

When you first posted about this issue I feared that you would end up in a situation where your own health was severely compromised so I am happy that you have made this decision..

On a bright note, there will be no more shower related 'injuries' disrupting your training... :lol:

 

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roxii    4,116

Unfortunately we have lost another great Aussie athlete to suicide. 

 

From RIDE: 

Remembering ‘Big Steve’
 
The last time I saw him he happened to wander into a bike shop where I was and it seemed so familiar and, despite the serendipity, he made it feel as though it was entirely orchestrated. “Good to see you.”
As Steve Wooldridge so often did, he asked about me and my family first. And then we started talking about cycling and old mates and, eventually, that fabulous reunion in Adelaide early in 2017.
Most things seemed to make ‘Big Steve’ smile. Underneath most who knew him were also aware of his fragility. He never denied his emotions. They were on display often and he didn’t hide his weaknesses.
Wooldridge was a successful athlete but never the shining star that many of his peers became. He would win an Olympic gold medal, but not stand on the podium alongside Graeme Brown, Brett Lancaster, Brad McGee and Luke Roberts. (Nor would Peter Dawson, the sixth member of the team.)
Years later, he was able to joke about it; explain to some – even many who knew him well – that, “yes, I’ve got one too”.
Olympic gold is the driving force of some, a quest that’s built up into something bigger than life. It’s a lure that dictates many things from humble training days in the rain to consideration in the national budgets.
But to Big Steve, the medal was a coincidental element of a life with many other accomplishments. And he’ll be remembered more for his empathy as a friend, knowledge as a businessman, and qualities well beyond the velodrome.
“That fabulous reunion” in Adelaide was an evening to remember. Five blokes who won the national team pursuit title 20 years earlier were presented with special jerseys, created by a friend in honour of an amazing race.
In time we’ll encourage Drew Johnson to recount his story of why he bothered hosting an event in honour of Wooldridge and his cohort from the NSW team of 1997. But the upshot is this: on equipment far from what we know today, using gears that seem laughable these days, this group of mates conjured a time that would have earned them Olympic gold only a few years earlier.
Wooldridge partnered up with Brent Dawson, Paul Dobson and Brad McGee. They listened to Gary Sutton (and, at times, duly ignored the coach). They would suit up and clip in and race the pursuit of their lives to win green and gold jerseys.
They were kids and they had guidance.
Sutton was like a father to them all and, on the night of the reunion, the coach arrived late – as he had just raced a bike for the first time in around 20 years. He did so in honour of a mate who had been diagnosed with MND. Gary Sutton and many others are thinking of Gary West as he battles his illness.
And amidst it all Wooldridge sat and listened to the concerns of others. He also talked about his own battles. And at the end of it all, there was a group hug shared by a bunch of blokes who had grown up together – even if life took them away from each other most of the time.
‘Dobbo’ made a speech that night which was a joy to listen to. He evoked images of rebellion and triumph from their racing days. And Big Steve cheered as he listened. He’d laugh along with everyone and lift the spirit of all in the room.
He won’t do that again. He has left us too soon. And for all the fond memories that live on, the overwhelming sadness of his final decisions remind us that mental health is something we need to work on every day.
We laud the physical accomplishments of athletes but there’s more to life than winning medals or even conjuring brilliant yarns that can be told 20 years after the glory days.
Tears will flow for a long time yet and answers will be sought but right now we need to remember Big Steve in an appropriate way; good and bad were major parts of his life. And as we look to a future without him, let’s be wary of fragility and ensure that friendships last well after anyone steps down from a podium.
 
– By Rob Arnold
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monkie    174
On 14/08/2017 at 7:34 AM, Ayto said:

Keep at it mate.

Love yourself first. The rest all falls into place..........

This. I have a friend in London who had a relationship with a lady with serious mental health issues. It almost broke him. He made the same tough choice to end the relationship but to remain her friend and since that he has been much more able to support and help her whilst also getting his own head back on the straight and narrow.

Good luck and feel free to come here to vent any time!

Monkie

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Toolish    159
On 27/04/2017 at 9:53 AM, Toolish said:

I will start by saying I am in no way suicidal, but I agree with the stress thing and I have noticed it in myself a lot in the past 6 months.  Work stress and deadlines combined with what I see as a lack of leadership at work and a terminally ill mother have all meant that life is a lot harder than I feel like it should be.  

I have lost a lot of motivation for parts of life.  I no longer spring out of bed to go training, my work output is not what it should be, and at times I have found myself mid-conversation and realized I am not even listening to what is being said, that never used to happen to me!

Luckily for me I have my kids that are the shining light of everything and the hug I get before I leave for work and the moment I walk through the door make everything a lot better.  My wife is also there to support me, and our communication about this sort of thing is getting better all the time.  Given we have been married 9 years I am proud of that.

All of that said, I can understand how stress and depression can take hold, if I did not have those shining lights I might be head down that path!

4 months later and not a lot has changed, except my mother has now passed.

I just seem like I am in a hole, and there are lights but nothing keeps me up for long.  I have more bad days than good at work, and most nights I end up falling asleep on the couch because lying in bed gives me time to think.

I have fallen in love with mountain biking because it forces me to be in the moment, road cycling and running allow too many thoughts to get into my head.

I have not dealt well with my mum passing.  I have never tried to be the tough guy that doesn't cry, but that is what happened.  I ended up being the support for my sisters and dad who were all distraught after mums death.  As the youngest sibling I read the eulogy because I was seen as the only one who could get through it.  Two months later I ended up a ball of tears on the couch, the wife tried to talk to me but I can not put any of it into words, she tries to help but there is nothing she could do. 

And as I write this the tears are back!

It has only been 3 and a half months but in some ways it seems like a life time and then at other times it seems like just yesterday.  I am just starting to move into the anger side of grief I think!

I have applied for other jobs as an attempt to reset, but I am not sure if that is the answer.

I am wondering if I need to see someone but I would not know where to start.

Sorry, bit of a vent...to make it somewhat relevant I tried to go for a run the other day and pulled my calf...that did not help the situation :)

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-H-    618

It might help to see someone, start by talking to your gp and they can put you on a mental health plan and recommend a psychologist for you. All the best, you're going through some rough times but there is help out there. 

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goughy    2,147

My thoughts T, are that if you're wondering and asking if you need to see someone, then you need to see someone.  It could be a one off, just for a head clean.  It could be ongoing.  Absolutely go see your doc, get a recommendation from them for someone to see, and possibly a mental health plan.

A lot of what you've been saying reads very familiar for me....

Edited by goughy
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Turtle    66

Thoughts with you Toolish.  Being able to chat to someone and just be heard and understood is worth the visit. They'll be able to help unclutter your mind re: work, family, your grief etc. All the best.

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roxii    4,116
12 hours ago, Toolish said:

I have not dealt well with my mum passing.  I have never tried to be the tough guy that doesn't cry, but that is what happened.  I ended up being the support for my sisters and dad who were all distraught after mums death.  As the youngest sibling I read the eulogy because I was seen as the only one who could get through it.  Two months later I ended up a ball of tears on the couch, the wife tried to talk to me but I can not put any of it into words, she tries to help but there is nothing she could do. 

I can relate to this greatly.

My mum died last year (in Ireland) while we were in the thick of trying to pick up the pieces from our house being destroyed.  I had to fly over at the drop of a hat as they bury them pretty quick over there (I found out mum had passed on Tuesday Morning, I was on a plane Wednesday for a Friday funeral). My sister didn't go so it was just me left to be strong for my dad. Then after coming home it was straight back in to trying to get the house sorted. 

I didnt deal with it at all really at the time. This year on the anniversary I pretty much fell to pieces. 

Its getting better but still don't think I'm 100% over it, but not sure if I should be either. 

Good luck mate, seek help if you need it, or keep talking here if it helps as well. 

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surfer101    194

There are many stages of grief & grief doesnt have a timeframe. You go with it being careful not to let it consume you. There will come a time when your sadness sits next to you rather than overwhelm you. Talking to a grief counsellor worked for me - all the best T & Roxii xx   And the rest of you x

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FatPom    2,323

Hey Toolish 'I've got a message for you little buddy' B)

And that is, I really hope things start to turn around for you. Go and see someone if you think you need to and I would echo the others here that if you are asking the question, then you probably should.

Like Roxii, I lost my Dad a few weeks after my daughter was born, had a new job, new house and new town. That was over 3yrs ago and I still haven't processed it properly. Grief comes out the way it comes out, sometimetimes in a flood and sometimes not at all, even when it should. There is no right and wrong for this.

 

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IronJimbo    501
On ‎11‎/‎08‎/‎2017 at 8:12 PM, FFF1077 said:

 I did actually feel trapped for the last two months of it. Like if I left I would tip her over the edge and she'd do it again. I felt responsible for her actions.

I know what that feels like.  It's almost a form of self-induced emotional blackmail

But as hard as it might be, heaven forbid, if something does happen you absolutely cannot under any circumstances blame yourself

 

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monkie    174

Toolish, as others have said, if you think you might need to go see somebody then get it done. I delayed far too long before I went to my GP. Never looked back. Ups and downs still happen (they always will). Anxiety can hit at the weirdest, weirdest moments (never before something that actually matters, more like when I need to go to the supermarket!) and the black dog is always lurking around. But it's been an upwards journey since getting help. You'll feel awkward about it, you might even think it's not a "real illness" or not "something to bother the doctor with". Trust me, they've seen this all the time and they know what to do and how to talk you through it. 

Easier to say than do, but get it done.

 

Monkie

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roxii    4,116

Hope everyone is doing well.

Today is RUOK day, if you arent feeling "OK" make sure you reach out. There are plenty of people out there (or in here) that are willing to listen or help. 

https://www.ruok.org.au/

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tortoise    829

I'm flat as. Sitting in a cafe in a small Normandie town having shifted from the best accommodation so far as they had a full book for the next week. The car is broken, hopefully fixed tomorrow - the upside is that last nights hosts will fetch me in the morning.m, most French are very kind. 

Mr T is broken and in hospital in Avranches about 15km away. We half know what is wrong, a clot in his bladder, scan shows nothing nasty. But we don't know the source of the blood and the French medical system will do no more testing until Monday. So they are reducing the bleeding, an unpleasant process involving copious flushing with saline, until we find the cause. Hopefully Monday and can be fixed Monday or Tuesday or we face medivac home. I've cancelled the next three nights bookings. And sit and wait. Fatigued from speaking French all day. 

Edited by tortoise
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roxii    4,116

Thoughts are with you both.

nothing worse than not having the comfort and safety of home when things go wrong. 

Give my best to Mr. T and hope it all get sorted soon. 

 

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