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The Mental Health thread

Mental Health  

303 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you suffer from a mental illness?

    • Yes
      97
    • No
      169
    • Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it
      39
  2. 2. Do you know someone who suffers a mental illness

    • Yes
      247
    • No
      31
    • Don't know but suspect they do
      27


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I was going to ask if you could caller your wife.  I'm glad you did.  I hope it has helped centre you for a little while.  If you are going to go through with the conference call, do you have time to do some meditation, a few minutes to calm and focus on your breathing?  

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Thanks all. Writing it down helped. Calling Mrs Monkie and being told it's OK to not be OK and that I looked f'ugly after crying helped and recounting the little ways in which my colleagues helped me out today (my co-presenter saw me about to lose it in a session in front of 20 senior investment bankers and smoothly brought us to an unscheduled break) and generally accepting that being sad is the right thing to be means that I am now calm, face is washed, conference call about to happen and am thankful for the good things. 

And tomorrow I'm going to destroy myself in the crappy hotel gym and enjoy every second of it.

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1 hour ago, monkie said:

Thanks all. Writing it down helped. Calling Mrs Monkie and being told it's OK to not be OK and that I looked f'ugly after crying helped and recounting the little ways in which my colleagues helped me out today (my co-presenter saw me about to lose it in a session in front of 20 senior investment bankers and smoothly brought us to an unscheduled break) and generally accepting that being sad is the right thing to be means that I am now calm, face is washed, conference call about to happen and am thankful for the good things. 

And tomorrow I'm going to destroy myself in the crappy hotel gym and enjoy every second of it.

None of us are robots mate, we all have feelings. OK, so you are not with your wife but you are people that know you and not alone overseas feeling down.  It's not the best situation but it's a long way from being the worst.:thumbsup:

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9 hours ago, monkie said:

This is, of course, what I should have done. I have not done this. I will pay for it in the morning.

E2A: But I did just speak to Mrs Monkie and remembered why I married her!

The value of a great partner/wife is priceless. This I know. 

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I thought I'd mentioned it elsewhere in the forum, but here is as good as any.  We have a few issues with our son, bit what is becoming more concerning these days is his weight.  He is well over weight for his age, and we know he has suffered some bullying at school etc because of it.  But in particular this year has been really hard for him, with his anxiety coming to the fore in a significant way, and sleep issues.  The last couple of nights with this heat wave have been pretty bad, with him having a full panick attack a couple of nights ago.

We just don't know how to tackle all this with him.  He certainly hadn't had a growth spurt yet (he's behind all his mates) but it's gotten past where a sudden growth will take care of it.  I know we don't help with our food choices, I try and do my best with dinners etc, but I'm no Saint.  I try and through as many veges into the meals I make, and frozen ones when we have things with mash etc.  We generally end up with take away twice a week.  I don't have any help with this stuff, and while it could be better, it could be worse.  Due to gastro issues my wife is having, and fussy kids, I'm sometimes preparing two different dinners to try and come up with something remotely healthy that everyone will eat.  I know he's sneaking bad food when ever he can as well, as I find the wrappers.  My daughter is as skinny as a rake and very active, and while I've put on a few KG's I shouldn't have it's because of massive over eating, and if I cut that out then even with our home diet I'd drop the weight pretty well.  My wife is over weight (though dropping at the moment) but she is disabled and can do very little activity without setting off a flare.  

He's also near inactive.  He's started swimming squad once a week again, and has to do or at school which he actually does try in.  But he refuses to do anything else.  We actually have a half decent treadmill at home and I try to encourage him to walk for 20mins on it, but I can't seem to get my wife to help with this and I simply can't be everything for everyone.  All he wants to do is play vid games, or watch YouTube vids of vid games.

I've also tried to encourage him to go back to counseling but he is flat out refusing.  I found out when he was going previously that my wife was in every session as well, and I actually don't think that was a good thing.

It has been a real struggle with him this year, for us and for him.  We're being so careful to try and keep his stress down, but at the same time is meaning we're not tackling other things he needs help with.

Quite honestly I really have no idea what to do anymore?  Trying to tackle all the problems is impossible as they end up exasperating all of them.  I think I'll talk more with my counselor about this next time as it is a stressor for me anyway, and I certainly feel like we've let him down.

Sorry, think I just needed to vent.  I couldn't get him to go to school today.  It's been building the last few days.  I'm actually handling the stress regarding all this kinda well ATM.  But it doesn't mean I have a single clue what to do about it.

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Thanks for the kind words mate. Your missus and family are your real heroes. Yes, you dodged a bullet and great to see you getting back on your feet. I still have a chuckle (if I can say that) when I first saw you in hospital. You seemed OK - until you opened your mouth. A hundred different discussions coming out at once.😁. So much so, we had to put a lid on you.....

Keep it going. I'll see you at Parkrun again, although not for a few weeks as I will be outa town in the land of the long white cloud.

Mick 

PS: You still kick my arse running. You give me the shits (also that 8 year old that ran past me last Sunday gave me the shits too) 😃

 

 

 

6B0252D6-8485-4F58-97D2-DD92E6FD4599.jpeg

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Goughy, there are a lot of us that would love to call in and chat. Honestly, you have it tough and I really admire you. It's hard for us  to give advice so support is what we have.

I think I remember a while ago you said he enjoyed soccer (was it ?). I've always found going to sports games (really anything - soccer, basketball, baseball, BMX, biking etc) is great to share with my son. It took his mind off stuff. Maybe just getting out and enjoying the "spectator" in each other.  That may loosen him up and give a smile.

Best of luck (and don't forget - venting is good and can be done anytime here).

FM

 

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On 10/10/2018 at 1:25 PM, BigRig said:

It's National Mental Awareness day so a timely time to post I guess.As others before have written,it is hard to right this sort of stuff about yourself,but I need to vent.Kudos to those who have.I have suffered from depression most my adult life, and don't take meds for it.Tried once and didn't like it.I have sought treatment on a few occasions.Since 2004 triathlon has been my medication, and brought a lot of inner joy and small personal victories despite being a  back of the pack finisher.I have been in what I call my cyclonic mood for a long long time now .I am a slow moving rain bearing depression.The entire joy of training and  competing has gone. I look at my bikes and go "Meh!" Even give myself a good upper cut from time to time but that has worn off.Nothing gives me any joy anymore.Last week my new boss flew in (80's style bullyboy manager, about my age, and no industry experience) and tore me a new one.It was bombing raid with zero notice.It's a new job which I was head hunted for 6 months ago, and I work on my own in sales role for the whole of WA.Sales dollar are 50% up on last year but am apparently not doing it the right way /his way.My KPI's, touch points, etc,blah blah....I have been in this Industry my whole life  up to a senior role level,and never had any issues up till now.Working on my own is very new and probably hasn't helped as I am a social person.This was the icing on the cake for me and has pretty well finished me. I am considering quitting work/sport and taking a long time off to sort myself out, perhaps hire/buy a campervan and hit the road with the wife and travel around Australia. Maybe it time to smell the roses.Thanks for reading if you read this far to the end.

Today my line manager flew in for some "coaching". Was sitting there thinking why am I putting up with this micromanagement bollocks.Life is too short so I quit. Will take some time off, get IMWA finished in whatever time I can, and press the reset button for 2019.

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2 minutes ago, BigRig said:

Today my line manager flew in for some "coaching". Was sitting there thinking why am I putting up with this micromanagement bollocks.Life is too short so I quit. Will take some time off, get IMWA finished in whatever time I can, and press the reset button for 2019.

Wishing you all the best - life is too short to be miserable at work. Enjoy IMWA for what it is, here's to a great 2019. You deserve it ☺

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Sunday, I think it was, I got a message from my Dad saying he and his long term partner (who I despise) were more than likely splitting up. I called him immediately, we chatted a bit, he said he was basically fine with it all, he told me he would be living with my brother for a while, and we pretty much left the conversation at that.  

Today I get a message from my brother asking if he can call tonight as he needs some advice. He told me Dad is staying with him after he picked him up from hospital where he was discharged today following being admitted yesterday subsequent to an intentional overdose. Apparently the second this year.

He wasn't so much seeking advice but more telling me where things were up to and also asking forgiveness for not telling me about any of it sooner.

Not sure what I am thinking right now. Just kind of putting it out there.

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Man I've got things good. Life's not easy and I wish everyone the best.

Great stuff clappers and BigRig lets hope that closing that door leads to the next door being a good one.

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2 hours ago, nealo said:

Man I've got things good. Life's not easy and I wish everyone the best.

+1.

Last night as I read this, I was listening to music whilst the missus was embroidering a special pillow for my 87 year old aunty (ex nun who is suffering from the ravages of work and age - we are visiting her on Saturday). I actually said the same thing to my missus. Whilst we have our ups and downs, we have it pretty good and are so grateful.

FM

Edited by Flanman
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21 minutes ago, Flanman said:

Whilst we have our ups and downs, we have it pretty good and are so grateful.

FM

Yep I wrote that while battling a migraine at work where I'm the only one in of 4 and trying to sort through 2 accident claims in 24hrs for my 18 year old daughter. But yeah give me 3 weeks and I'll be in the USA spending money I don't have :lol:

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And the reality is, so do we.  The one thing I always used to say to myself was "it could be worse, we could be fighting or way out of Somalia, or starving in Ethiopia, so grow up, it's all ok!"  Now, that's actually all true.  But I've learnt, through reading and from my sessions, that that is actually one of the worst most self defeating things you can actually say.  Everyone is different, everyone has their own struggles, and everyone handles them in their own way.  Wealth, power, possessions, status, all mean nothing.  You are who you are, and you work with what you've got!

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17 hours ago, Surfer said:

Wishing you all the best - life is too short to be miserable at work. Enjoy IMWA for what it is, here's to a great 2019. You deserve it ☺

Thanks Surfer.

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21 hours ago, Flanman said:

Thanks for the kind words mate. Your missus and family are your real heroes. Yes, you dodged a bullet and great to see you getting back on your feet. I still have a chuckle (if I can say that) when I first saw you in hospital. You seemed OK - until you opened your mouth. A hundred different discussions coming out at once.😁. So much so, we had to put a lid on you.....

Keep it going. I'll see you at Parkrun again, although not for a few weeks as I will be outa town in the land of the long white cloud.

Mick 

PS: You still kick my arse running. You give me the shits (also that 8 year old that ran past me last Sunday gave me the shits too) 😃

 

 

 

6B0252D6-8485-4F58-97D2-DD92E6FD4599.jpeg

Thanks Mick I didn't realise you came to see me, I don't remember. I still had PTA post traumatic amnesia. It lasted two weeks I think,I remember waking up in Liverpool hospital and thinking I was on a cruise liner.

In May I watched the you tube story about Tim Don The man in the halo, I was in the garage going to do an indoor bike session but just sat and cried. Anyway he's just a winging Pom he only broke his neck in one place I broke mine in seven(they were all stable and mended without issue) but it's a good story

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I can get around the swear filters here so I’ll say. 

Fucking awesome mate!!!  You have already done enough to finish an Ironman easily and a lot more than many.

pretty damn proud of you mate. Not sure I could have got through all you have and kept up the training. 

Finish time is irrelevant, when you get to the start line you have already won! 

Now enjoy tapering and all the nerves doubts and niggles that go along with it (we all get those same feelings so don’t think it’s just you) 

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Hey Sam, Im looking forward to seeing a pic of Mooj wearing the finshers medal. Team effort n all that 😊

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11 minutes ago, Surfer said:

Hey Sam, Im looking forward to seeing a pic of Mooj wearing the finshers medal. Team effort n all that 😊

Yeah bloody oath 

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15 minutes ago, roxii said:

I can get around the swear filters here so I’ll say. 

****ing awesome mate!!!  You have already done enough to finish an Ironman easily and a lot more than many.

pretty damn proud of you mate. Not sure I could have got through all you have and kept up the training. 

Finish time is irrelevant, when you get to the start line you have already won! 

Now enjoy tapering and all the nerves doubts and niggles that go along with it (we all get those same feelings so don’t think it’s just you) 

Thanks Roxii 

You are a legend. 

 

Jealous of the swear filter access 😂😂😂😂😎👌

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Normally I'd say don't listen to Stikman, but when it comes to put IM into perspective and putting you at ease (probably telling you how little training really is needed to complete and still have an awesome day and a great sense of achievement at the end), he's certainly one of the most experienced around.

It'll be a fantastic experience, take it all in, have fun. You will be fine :)

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Hey FFF. Nothing to add to above. Only, just spent a week over in WA traveling in a camper van from Perth to Freo, Busso, Margaret a River, Augusta, to Cape Leeuwin-Naturaliste and (nearly) every dirt road leading to the coast.  First time there, pretty special.  We even ran the length of the Busso pier, nice and early in the morning, the head wind back was fun......lol.  As someone who has done a few, and been a BOP, enjoy the day for what is. My advice, smile, have fun and smile a bit more. 

PS.....a photo I took....

2DDE5924-C1EB-4A93-AF13-70B200052116.jpeg

Edited by skel
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1 hour ago, skel said:

Hey FFF. Nothing to add to above. Only, just spent a week over in WA traveling in a camper van from Perth to Freo, Busso, Margaret a River, Augusta, to Cape Leeuwin-Naturaliste and (nearly) every dirt road leading to the coast.  First time there, pretty special.  We even ran the length of the Busso pier, nice and early in the morning, the head wind back was fun......lol.  As someone who has done a few, and been a BOP, enjoy the day for what is. My advice, smile, have fun and smile a bit more. 

PS.....a photo I took....

2DDE5924-C1EB-4A93-AF13-70B200052116.jpeg

That photo is one to frame. 

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13 minutes ago, AA7 said:

That photo is one to frame. 

+1 

Put it in the Trannies Photo thread @skel😎👌

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(Just need to vent)

This place I am working is a total and complete cluster f*** 😂 I've spoken to my agent about it. Budgets not confirmed, budgets being reduced, shit not moving forward. Talking to recruiters and yet again, they are hearing the same thing off other candidates.

Just need to get over the Christmas hump....where hiring is minimal...repeat!  Just need to get over the Christmas hump! Stay here, do no work all day as there is none to do, earn moneys.

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31 minutes ago, MissJess said:

(Just need to vent)

This place I am working is a total and complete cluster f*** 😂 I've spoken to my agent about it. Budgets not confirmed, budgets being reduced, shit not moving forward. Talking to recruiters and yet again, they are hearing the same thing off other candidates.

Just need to get over the Christmas hump....where hiring is minimal...repeat!  Just need to get over the Christmas hump! Stay here, do no work all day as there is none to do, earn moneys.

Similar thing going on at my work i guess, our contract renewed until June next year, yet they have de scoped most of our work because the client is introducing a "new way of working", yet they dont actually have their head around it, so we have our blue collar guys standing around doing not much, as they are casual we can lay them off when ever we like, but the client is telling us not to reduce site numbers....its very confusing.   

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Nice post Alex. After meeting you and the family at Winchester I do have some advice. If you want to make small talk, run a bit slower so other folks can breathe 👍:lol:

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Just a quick message 

 

 

This applies to all here and beyond. 

 

If you are struggling. 

If you can't cope. 

 

Talk about it. Openness is a way out. Being open is brave. Hiding is not the best option. 

 

I had a coffee with an old friend today who has struggled severely with mental illness in the past. She is going well, thankfully, and she attributes it to her comfort in expressing her feelings and thoughts. Not bottling it up. 

 

Take care all

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Just a little post about the side effects of medications.  Often you'll hear about things like drowsiness, weight gain etc etc.  Well, this is one of mine!

Excuse them being dirty but was at work.  I have nails for the first time that I can remember in my life.  Both shrink and psych were a bit surprised by it, and my wife nearly collapsed with shock.  It might seem like a bit of an over reaction to something minor, but the last time my nails were cut it would have been by my mother.  I only pulled out clippers to cut one if I chewed or picked it so short that it was too painful to tear off.  Watching tv with my wife meant her constantly yelling at me to stop (the noise annoyed her).  About 3 days after starting meds for anxiety and I just stopped dead.  Haven't picked or bitten one in over a month now, and have had to cut them several times as they're weirding me out.  

Unfortunately I've learnt that when you have multiple things going on, getting relief from one means another can fill the gap.  My depression is kicking my guts at the moment, and a third med has been added in for that!  But mostly I'm feeling flat (not up, not always down) and tired as with no energy.  I feel asleep at morning tea today.  When walking, I can get down around 8 to 9mins/K and into the 7's for efforts.  Just strolling is around 10 to 11.  Yesterday I just couldn't move any faster and did 4k at nearly 15min/K.  It's quite weird too taking multiple different meds when I struggle to take tablets.  My wife has to tell at me to take Nurofen if I have a headache.  Anyway, just wanted to share the white on my nails, it's freaking me a bit.

IMG_20181201_155713.jpg

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For someone thats been biting their nails for so long, they & your fingers look very healthy. Well done G 😎

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Yeah, it's friggin strange.  At least 40 years with no white on any nail, it's freakin me out a bit.

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1 minute ago, goughy said:

Yeah, it's friggin strange.  At least 40 years with no white on any nail, it's freakin me out a bit.

🎼 Dont worry, be happy 🎵🎶

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Great news Goughy 😎💪👌

 

Yes I found the mix of Meds I was on years ago flattened everything out too much. But I reckon it is AWESOME that your nails have returned, it's the tip of the iceberg in regards to progress in that area of your life. Awesome stuff mate 😎🤘

 

Great news 👌

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Just got off the phone to a friend who has been sectioned after overdosing for the third time. Feeling utterly useless as I can't do anything except promise to go see and try and sneak a dog in to a psych ward when I go back to the UK in two weeks. It sometimes feels a very long way away and that sucks.

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On 08/11/2018 at 3:32 PM, Clappers said:

I rejoined local tri club. I did my first club sprint Triathlon a couple of weeks ago I came last but in my mind just entering I had won. All this made me realise how close I could have come to serous mental health issues and I am so thankful that I dodged that bullet, and thank you Tenpints and Flanman I know if ever I need to talk you'd have an ear, It's reassuring. Trannies helping Trannies  

It was fantastic seeing you yesterday Clappers! Onwards and upwards :) 

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On 9 December 2018 at 7:53 AM, MissJess said:

It was fantastic seeing you yesterday Clappers! Onwards and upwards :) 

Thanks it was really good to see you and GregB and I didn't finish last. Onwards and upwards and a bit more time on the bike

I'm going to run SMC half marathon on Sunday, the last time I ran this race a bus came through and I had to stop and I got beaten by willie but managed to tag along with Paul Every.

Onwards and Upwards - and I hope Willie is there for a rematch  

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