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The Mental Health thread

Mental Health  

303 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you suffer from a mental illness?

    • Yes
      97
    • No
      169
    • Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it
      39
  2. 2. Do you know someone who suffers a mental illness

    • Yes
      247
    • No
      31
    • Don't know but suspect they do
      27


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I can't even work us out! And women, don't even ask me about you lot!

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What they said Jess... but on a more serious point if you've had the black dog chatting in your head about "speeding the process up" then please, please go and talk to somebody about it. Your doctor, the Samaritans (you can email them), just somebody.

Having been there it's easy to begin to think that those thoughts are just part of life. They're really not. They can also be stopped with the right help. It's easy to get blase about them but they're such a real horrible risk that they need treating just as much as if you found a weird lump!

That aside, chin up and as my Pa always says "Noli illegitimi carborundum" :D

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At this point I am gradually opening myself up to the idea of moving away from Sydney. It's a long story, but I moved here in what I see to be the wrong reasons. Perhaps going home to Melbourne, or even to Canberra is an option. This will take time anyway. I have a property here I am locked into for a little while longer.

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5 hours ago, MissJess said:

At this point I am gradually opening myself up to the idea of moving away from Sydney. It's a long story, but I moved here in what I see to be the wrong reasons. Perhaps going home to Melbourne, or even to Canberra is an option. This will take time anyway. I have a property here I am locked into for a little while longer.

Yeah, if there's nothing keeping you there then moving where you feel better is good. But don't fall into my trap of moving to find happiness, wasted time and money and energy doing that. *regret

Moved from central Queensland to Melbourne to Perth to find happiness..... Didn't find it until I worked on me. 

 

Talking to a professional will help too. Take it easy mate. 

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1 hour ago, FFF1077 said:

Yeah, if there's nothing keeping you there then moving where you feel better is good. But don't fall into my trap of moving to find happiness, wasted time and money and energy doing that. *regret

Moved from central Queensland to Melbourne to Perth to find happiness..... Didn't find it until I worked on me. 

 

Talking to a professional will help too. Take it easy mate. 

Reminds me of a quote from an acquaintance who spent years trying to run away from unhappiness -

“Everywhere I go, there I am”

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Life is sucking balls right now. Stuff just isn’t going right and I’m at the tail end of working 29 days straight and I have little by way of emotional reserves. I ****ing hope this shit passes soon. I was rather enjoying feeling happy. 

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Right there with ya babe - but the ****ers aren't gonna get either of us ok!

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Do me a favour - make it known to the ones who you love that you really do , life is so short.  Im literally rocked today and done know what to say or do.  A colleague who i have worked with in years gone by both directly and indirectly went to have an operation last week, just a standard run of the mill day surgery, a couple of days prior he didn't feel well so went to the doc, has now been identified that he has a massive tumor encompassing his heart and other organs (I dont know the ins and outs of it all as i got the info 2nd hand), but has now been told he will be going to palliative care and more than likely not going home.

For the last 18 months he has been caring for his wife who has stage 4 brain cancer and now it's likely he will be gone before her.  My friend is there looking after their two kids.  Its a very sad place here at work today as most of us have worked with him before at some stage.

yet murderers, rapists, violent people, drug users, criminals, pedophiles seem to live long lives yet the good ones are cut down in their prime with beautiful young families who should have every right to see their mum and dad grow old and become grandparents and great grand parents.

It's not fair.

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Life is too short. Cancer is unfortunately far too prevalent!

Coming up to 18 months since I lost my wife to this scourge. Not a day goes by where the hurt isn't there... Please don't take one second for granted with the ones you love!

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Things for my son have taken a turn for the worst and it's really starting to take a toll on the rest of us.  For about a month, or maybe longer, he's been struggling with sleep.  We (meaning my wife) mostly thought it was anxiety related.  But it hadn't eased up at all and it's been a fight to get him to go to fall asleep, so she took him to the doctor and while not inflamed as such, he has quite large tonsils etc.  He did have a fair bit of tonsillitis as a little kid but never bad enough to have them out.  And inflamed nostrils.   So he's going to see one of my ENT mates and will probably end up having them out.  But while I wanted her to, my wife didn't query getting him set up with a mental health plan again so he can go see someone.  Then another day later he had a full on meltdown that had him in hysterics  and my wife in tears so the next day it was off to the docs again.  

He missed a day of school last week, and he's now missing his second in a row now as he won't get dressed because he hates the formal uniform (which they only wear 3 or 4 times a term tops).  He was awake till nearly midnight last night, even after doping him up with phenergan, and he's just tired and stress now.  We just can't do the usual "persuade, argue, fight, then take about everything he owns away from him till he screams he hates us and ends up going" at the moment as there is more going on than simple tantrums.  But I'm sure there is an element of him intentionally pushing it, but there is more going on.  So we just don't know what to do any more.  He's booked in to see the phsych he saw a few years ago, but that's in a couple of weeks.  The school counselor can't help him because he was best friends with her daughter throughout primary school and he knows her well so isn't comfortable talking with her.  Plus she's the only counselor in a state school of 1500.  I did have a long chat with her yesterday though.  But on a selfish note this is really stressing me and my wife out, while my daughter is handling it ok but at some time she's gonna get pissed off with his behaviour and attention seeking.  His weight is ballooning and I just can't be bothered fighting with him over it anymore.  It's all part of a much larger problem and it's feeling now that trying to make little nips at just parts of it is going nowhere.

I think I'll ring the school counselor today (she is a friend anyway) and get some ideas about how to approach the school about this.  But this is all affecting my wife's health, which isn't great at the best of times.  And I'm just fried atm, struggling to focus at work or anything.  It's been a couple of weeks since I've really done any activity and barely even walk the dog.  I'd started using some meditation apps to get my focus into work but also to break between work and home life but just can't be ****ed with them atm.  Why the **** would you wanna have kids.

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Hey Goughy,

I'm sorry to hear of the above as it sounds like a shit time for everyone involved.  I don't for one minute claim to understand what it is like for you and your family at present, so please take this for what it is and how it is intended - simply a different perspective.

As I head towards nearly a full year since I have seen or spoken to my children (and this being the second time this has occurred - the first lasting nearly 2 years), I would give absolutely anything to swap and be in your position. 

As shit as the current situation may be, you ARE in your children's lives, you DO have the ability to impact and influence them, and you DO have the ability to tell them every single day that you love them.  And maybe it is simply the last point that is the most important.

I don't know the answers to the issues you describe above, but mate, just be there. Tell them you love them, give them a hug and maybe the shit will sort itself out. Maybe it won't, but at least they will feel the love.

I hope you can all work through this soon. Good luck

Ayto

 

 

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Mate, that last line I wrote was really crap actually and very selfish. Regardless of the situation I should have been more considerate of yourself and others. Really sorry about that.

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Don't apologise Goughy. The intention of my post was not to make you feel bad in any way, shape or form.  More to take it as an opportunity to perhaps think about the situation with a different mindset and perspective. 

Yes, its pretty crappy at the moment, and yes you are frustrated and not quite sure what the next steps are..............but, plenty of positives to be taken from all of this as well.  You are smarter than you think and you will work through this. I have seen you (via this forum and social media) reach out when you need to and that takes a great deal of strength.

I see you post coming from a position of frustration only. And that's ok.  This crap is frustrating and its ok to vent here. Thats whats so great about this thread.

Let me be clear - there was absolutely no offense taken from your post and I certainly didn't perceive it as selfish in any way.

Keep at it!!

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Goughy, fight the battles that need to be fought and let the rest just slide on by for now. It sounds a like a completely shit time for everyone involved, your son too.

Don't feel bad about saying "who'd have kids?" (paraphrasing). I've said it a million times, meant it about half that, but love the little bastards more than life itself.

Keep going. You're as tough as old boots, and your family is too. Just keep going. Don't stop reaching out for support either. You're so good at it. Just.Keep.Going.

Edited by Katz
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If it's any comfort Goughy, I hate kids, can barely tolerate my own. :wink3:

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16 hours ago, FatPom said:

If it's any comfort Goughy, I hate kids, can barely tolerate my own. :wink3:

me too, well i dont hate my kids, not all the time, but i find them mighty annoying and frustrating. 

 

But seriously Goughy, like others have said stick with it mate and keep talking

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Goughy, what's his diet like? Does it include a lot of processed foods?  Been reading a lot about gut bacteria lately & all of the things it can impact, including mood/personality, and there is a theory many modern ailments can be improved by cutting out processed food, eating only fresh natural foods. Easier said than done of course.

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Oh it's shithouse, and we keep finding wrappers and packets stashed behind chairs and things around the house.  And there's no denying I could be making better quality dinners etc.  I do what I can.  But we're trying not to fight with him over this stuff, along with his weight, anymore as things are tense enough with him.  He doesn't see his psych till next week.  I talk to him about making better choices, and have fruit etc here for him to eat and do 'make' him take it to school and eat it here.  He will only eat apples, and only pink lady ones.  Otherwise we end up in a shitfight.  There's actually a lot of stuff we have to work on here with him.

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Hang in there Goughy! I have a situation similar to yours at home( ie bad food and bad choices, increasing weight, cannot sleep much due to meds, psych issues etc). You have just got to keep chipping away.Try and get some small wins with him. It will help you and your wife also.The big picture of recovery can be scary, so don't focus on it too much. As Katz said, just Keep Going.

Edited by BigRig
spelling error
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Ok, not well. Long story short, met someone, he neglected to tell me he had feelings for someone else who is flying in from the US for Port. I might need a Trannie Cocoon for the weekend. I'm not going to be able to handle seeing him with HER. Although applications for a hot ass toy boy waiting for me on the finish line with a snog will be taken. 

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Jess, if you met him on the day of your "forever alone" post you've known him for all of 18 days.  Way too early to be unable to see him with her in three months time.  If you can't slow yourself down, steer clear of men for a while.  Otherwise you're going to destroy yourself with heartache.

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Both sad and funny Jess. 

 

You are the most important thing to you. 

Look after that first, the rest will follow. Take care. 

 

 

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On 29/01/2018 at 10:53 AM, KieranR said:

Do me a favour - make it known to the ones who you love that you really do , life is so short.  Im literally rocked today and done know what to say or do.  A colleague who i have worked with in years gone by both directly and indirectly went to have an operation last week, just a standard run of the mill day surgery, a couple of days prior he didn't feel well so went to the doc, has now been identified that he has a massive tumor encompassing his heart and other organs (I dont know the ins and outs of it all as i got the info 2nd hand), but has now been told he will be going to palliative care and more than likely not going home.

For the last 18 months he has been caring for his wife who has stage 4 brain cancer and now it's likely he will be gone before her.  My friend is there looking after their two kids.  Its a very sad place here at work today as most of us have worked with him before at some stage.

yet murderers, rapists, violent people, drug users, criminals, pedophiles seem to live long lives yet the good ones are cut down in their prime with beautiful young families who should have every right to see their mum and dad grow old and become grandparents and great grand parents.

It's not fair.

No it is not.  My thoughts are with you. 

That sucks big time! 

On 30/01/2018 at 9:44 AM, Dalai said:

Life is too short. Cancer is unfortunately far too prevalent!

Coming up to 18 months since I lost my wife to this scourge. Not a day goes by where the hurt isn't there... Please don't take one second for granted with the ones you love!

Thank you 

On 01/02/2018 at 12:55 PM, goughy said:

Mate, that last line I wrote was really crap actually and very selfish. Regardless of the situation I should have been more considerate of yourself and others. Really sorry about that.

No way. Parenting is shit hard (that's the technical term). If you haven't thought that at some point,  you're not doing it right.  Hang in there.  You care.  You're trying your best. That's all anyone can ask. And don't forget to look after you. It'll make the rest just that little bit easier.

 

 

Jess, What the others have said. Xxx Take care.

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Hey 

Solid week in my life. 

Still training to maintain sanity and endorphins but I won't be posting in the training thread and I've made my Strava stuff private for a while. 

 

Cheers 

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Well, if my mental health was bad now, it will be worse soon. I have volunteered to take on the running of the beer mile at Port for the next 3 years. :lol:

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Well, while we've got some way to go with Kyan, I can say that the networks around him and his school just rock, like I'm talking foo fighter 3hr set ROCK.  He's certainly had 2 physical conditions which have exasperated his anxiety - he's not sleeping well and has large tonsils which may be affecting his airways; he's had inflamed nostrils and throat (not associated with his tonsils) so has had soreness there.  He's missed more than a week of school since starting 3 weeks ago, actually all in the last two weeks.  And wednesday he had a big freak out in the middle of the day when he thought we'd have to talk to the school about him etc, and ended up calling his psychologist he's seeing next wednesday, and then onto the child and youth mental health services at the hospital, as we thought we might have been dragging him up there.  But they were all really helpful, at least for us.  He eventually calmed down, I think from exhaustion.

While I'd spoken to his home room teacher (who was great), I decided to talk to his head of year.  They were fantastic, and pretty much immediately said to keep him home till after his psych appointment, then talk to them again.  We'll still try and get him to school but won't panic if we can't.  They're going to get his teachers to email us work for him that he can do here.  And they have plenty of options and programs running that can help out.  They have staff there whose job is to come around to homes to talk to kids who aren't coming in (she said it would be a nice change for them to have two parents who would welcome them into their home), but there's lots they can do.  From later starts if mornings are an issue, to dropping one class, or less days of the week.  And while I've got a doc certificate for some of his days off, she said don't worry about them, she'll sort it all out with the office!

It really took a load off for both me and Rob after that.  And I think they were pretty happy to have us being proactive to the point of contacting them ourselves - I don't think that happens there that much.

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Great news Goughy. That must definitely take some of the weight off your shoulders. 

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Me and Stikman are over. My heart is completely broken.

Let us never speak of it again. 

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20 minutes ago, Katz said:

Me and Stikman are over. My heart is completely broken.

Let us never speak of it again. 

:(

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8 minutes ago, Katz said:

Urgh......today sucks. :(

Breathe in, breathe out, repeat.... XX

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There's lots of the out there, but I know this one is free. I've been using (no where near enough) an app called Smiling Mind for small meditation breaks.  Mostly is breathing and focusing on yourself.  It helps me and I wish I would remember to use it more often. It's crazy how a few minutes of focusing on your breathing can help calm and refocus you.

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7 minutes ago, goughy said:

There's lots of the out there, but I know this one is free. I've been using (no where near enough) an app called Smiling Mind for small meditation breaks.  Mostly is breathing and focusing on yourself.  It helps me and I wish I would remember to use it more often. It's crazy how a few minutes of focusing on your breathing can help calm and refocus you.

I use an app called Calm. Similarly, never use it enough, but always feel better when I do.

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Yesterday I woke up feeling a little better. The pain was less excruciating and I was able to see the beauty in what we had. I felt as though I had learned a lot about myself and what I wanted and deserved.  Today I am once again overwhelmed by confusion, pain and grief. I hate this so much.

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It does feel like a rollercoaster. Take a step forward, take a step back, repeat.  Take advantage of the days or times you feel ok.  Make use of all the resources at your disposal on the days you don't.  Remember, even people suffering the heaviest of depressions don't sit around feeling at their worst every minute of every day.  It's like waves.  Use what you have to to ride them out, then do your best to enjoy floating in the calm in between.

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On 10/02/2018 at 4:44 PM, goughy said:

Well, while we've got some way to go with Kyan, I can say that the networks around him and his school just rock, like I'm talking foo fighter 3hr set ROCK.  He's certainly had 2 physical conditions which have exasperated his anxiety - he's not sleeping well and has large tonsils which may be affecting his airways; he's had inflamed nostrils and throat (not associated with his tonsils) so has had soreness there.  He's missed more than a week of school since starting 3 weeks ago, actually all in the last two weeks.  And wednesday he had a big freak out in the middle of the day when he thought we'd have to talk to the school about him etc, and ended up calling his psychologist he's seeing next wednesday, and then onto the child and youth mental health services at the hospital, as we thought we might have been dragging him up there.  But they were all really helpful, at least for us.  He eventually calmed down, I think from exhaustion.

While I'd spoken to his home room teacher (who was great), I decided to talk to his head of year.  They were fantastic, and pretty much immediately said to keep him home till after his psych appointment, then talk to them again.  We'll still try and get him to school but won't panic if we can't.  They're going to get his teachers to email us work for him that he can do here.  And they have plenty of options and programs running that can help out.  They have staff there whose job is to come around to homes to talk to kids who aren't coming in (she said it would be a nice change for them to have two parents who would welcome them into their home), but there's lots they can do.  From later starts if mornings are an issue, to dropping one class, or less days of the week.  And while I've got a doc certificate for some of his days off, she said don't worry about them, she'll sort it all out with the office!

It really took a load off for both me and Rob after that.  And I think they were pretty happy to have us being proactive to the point of contacting them ourselves - I don't think that happens there that much.

That's great that the school is being so supportive 

If what they're sending you isn't detailed enough let me know. ... I'll pm you.  You're at at a state school, yeah?

On 14/02/2018 at 10:01 AM, goughy said:

There's lots of the out there, but I know this one is free. I've been using (no where near enough) an app called Smiling Mind for small meditation breaks.  Mostly is breathing and focusing on yourself.  It helps me and I wish I would remember to use it more often. It's crazy how a few minutes of focusing on your breathing can help calm and refocus you.

Thankyou for this! I've just messaged it to Dazz. He is struggling and I hope it helps him.

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On ‎2‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 11:01 AM, goughy said:

There's lots of the out there, but I know this one is free. I've been using (no where near enough) an app called Smiling Mind for small meditation breaks.  Mostly is breathing and focusing on yourself.  It helps me and I wish I would remember to use it more often. It's crazy how a few minutes of focusing on your breathing can help calm and refocus you.

Catalyst did an episode on meditation/mindfulness (mental health benefit bit kicks in at the 11 min mark) a while back-:  http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/4477405.htm

Michael Mosley's 'Trust Me I'm A Doctor has also covered meditation/mindfulness -:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/3dqFp4tkhsZ1VR97X0cmqhg/should-i-try-mindfulness

Seems to get pretty good results

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Funny how things can change rapidly. I have been reading the site again for a little while. I was reading this very thread on Friday thinking, I have been in a good headspace for a long time. Then last night one of my work colleagues was killed in a motor vehicle collision on his way to work last night. It was about 500m from my house. I drove past it, spoke to the crew on scene, but at that stage we didn’t know. I only found out this morning.

We weren’t particularly close, but I have known him since he was a trainee, 9 maybe 10 years. He leaves behind a wife and 2 young kids. 

I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, I don’t want to speak to welfare, I just want to tell them to **** off, because there is nothing they can say or do to change how I feel, or change what happened.

But I have to, I am upgraded, I have to make sure my troops are okay and the other members get the support they need. Because that is what is expected of me, that’s what I expect of myself.

 It’s just such a waste, should never have happened, didn’t have to happen.

There is no god, if a priest tried to tell me, this is all part of god’s Plan, I think I would punch him. There is no plan, life and death are sometimes seconds or centimetres apart.

 Rant over...

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Can't work it out.  Can't get one kid to school (even today), looks like they call it School refusal.....

Other kid, been strapping up her knee because it's hurt.  Wouldn't come home last Thursday because she had an exam the next day.  Wouldn't stay home the next day because of the exam.  Then asked me if I could drop her to the bus stop to save her the walk.  No probs, and on the way down the hall to the car she ducks into the toilet to throw up for a while.  Comes out and says - I'm right now, we can go.  I tell her I'll drop her at school instead........   Friggin kids, can't work them out.

Does anyone have any experience with kids and sleeping issues causing mental health problems like this?  My wife is very much of the opinion that if we can get his sleeping sorted then all this will likely go away.  He's been struggling to sleep well since pretty much before xmas (and my wife says it's troubled him longer than that).  He does have large tonsils, and we have an appoint with an ENT (a mate) and he'll most likely take them out, but the appoint isn't for another month yet.  I think the lack of decent sleep is exasperating a problem, she thinks it's causing it.  But it's gonna be a while before it's sorted so we still need to deal with things in the meantime.  But just how dramatic a problem can these things be for kids?

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I've got nothing Goughy. I wish I had an easy answer for you. Hopefully you guys will get to the bottom of it. And hopefully soon enough that the behaviour doesn't become ingrained.

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We've got an appointment to see the head of his year and the deputy principal tomorrow, and I contacted my mate who is the ENT specialist he was to see and he's bumped his consult up to Wednesday.  He's insisting he wants to be homeschooled now, but that ain't gonna happen.  We need our weekdays free to recover!

Edited by goughy
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Yes, that is a part of it; it's one of his best friend but he insists it's not an issue.  Have spoken to school and the boy's mother.  Kid's a bit of a rough nut, so the way he acts with Kyan he does with everyone, but does more with Kyan because he doesn't react well to it so everyone finds it funny.  He's also much bigger.

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worst kind of bullying unfortunately.  It's not overt and every one thinks it's funny except the butt of the joke.  I think it wears on them and even though they laugh it off, after a while they just crash and burn inside.  Hopefully the school counsellor or the psychologist will be able to give him the strategies to deal with it.  Good luck! 

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Really pleased to hear that FB. 

Happy Birthday too. 

 

Cheers 

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Great to hear you talking like this FB, and glad that you can see some of the positives around you!

Happy birthday!

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