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The Mental Health thread

Mental Health  

303 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you suffer from a mental illness?

    • Yes
      97
    • No
      169
    • Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it
      39
  2. 2. Do you know someone who suffers a mental illness

    • Yes
      247
    • No
      31
    • Don't know but suspect they do
      27


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Hey George, sorry to hear about your troubles but glad you are getting them sorted.

 

You always seem like such an effervescent, happy and enthusiastic guy, I would never have guessed.

 

Good luck and have a really great Christmas.

 

Thats it Roxii we never know.

 

I feel like a proud Dad having started this thread and that people are able to air their stuff. One day we might actually get to the point when we answer how we feel when people ask "how ya going?".

 

Good luck to everyone and hope what is meant to be a time of joy can actually be experienced by most and nice bumping Roxii.

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This is a great thread - learning lots here.

 

I feel like a proud Dad having started this thread and that people are able to air their stuff. One day we might actually get to the point when we answer how we feel when people ask "how ya going?".

 

an interesting point Nealo. I often do answer honestly, and then get viewed as grumpy or negative, when that answer is that i'm feeling a bit average or below par. That tends to make you want to lie :lol:

Edited by Thommo227

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Hey George, sorry to hear about your troubles but glad you are getting them sorted.

 

You always seem like such an effervescent, happy and enthusiastic guy, I would never have guessed.

 

Good luck and have a really great Christmas.

 

 

Hard & happy on the outside, soft and vunerable on the inside.

 

I guess people find different ways to cope and sometimes the most extrovert is really crumbling inside.

 

For me that's always been always talking a lot, not really listening to others, interrupting conversation, not pausing for thought and blurting everything out as fast I can just to get it out there.

 

Reminds me of a song study I once did for the French singer Jacques Brel who was such an outgoing person on stage but often was physically sick, morose and down trodden inside just before a performance.

 

His song "Les Timides" has one verse where someone plucks up enough courage to "put on their armour" for a night out in town, but sadly its never enough.

 

Mais les timides

Un soir d'audace

Devant leur glace

Rêvant d'espace

Mettent leur cuirasse

Et alors place

Allons Paris

Tiens-toi bien

 

Not sure if there is an English translation of these lyrics, but worth a look.

 

 

So I guess some people go through life plucking up enough courage to get through each day and eventually something gives: Health, relationships, work, family etc.......

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it's kind of nice to have a place to vent a bit. Have tried a few different meds now over the years with varying levels of success and yet also failure. The one which had the most benefit for me with regards to my head also had some nasty side effects and twice I've had to discontinue with it. Been on something else for 6 months now but have also now chosen to stop it, much to the chagrin of my wife. And as much as she understands how my mind works, sometimes the foibles of it confound her. The stuff has helped me be much more relaxed, much much less stressed, been able to deal with the kids better and literally had no temper. But it's mellowed me too much and taken away some of the edge that also drove me on. Most noticeably at work where as things have gotten financially messier and messier it hasn't bothered me and I've let things get dire. I think I've learned that that edginess also drives me on, gets me out the door early and while my working may be a bit scattered and i'll work on five things at once rather than do one get one finished I'll get work done. I'm hoping though that I can remember the good things it helped with and manage those myself. And for anyone who needs help with organising and managing strategies there is a great book out there called ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life. It has some great strategies to help organise and sort through the clutter in your life. I've read it a few times over that last 5 years and I think it's time for a revisit.

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Ok so IM is over and some of you but get a bit down soon.

 

Winter is almost here and the constant dark and cold may get you down.

 

Best of luck and take action before the dog takes hold.

 

For those of you who are partners of those suffering, do your best. Offer support and be someone who listens.

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Wondering if this thread should be pinned as it comes up so often. I honestly believe that this is one of the all time best threads Trannies has ever produced and gives an annonymous voice for those that might never speak of their condition or suffering.

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I say pin it. Using the search function to try and find it could be enough to tip someone over the edge.

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I can confirm it does exist, having suffered a couple of episodes myself.

 

First was after attending a homicide on the Saturday night, the first time I actually saw someone dying before my eyes, a grandmother who had the back of her head caved in by her grandson who suffered paranoid schizophrenia. On the Monday I attended a quadruple fatal collision where a semi trailer ran over several cars, killing three people in the 4 door ute it actually crushed and was sitting on top of, the steer wheels of the prime mover were off the ground. The 4th was a lady in a car still stuck across the bull bar, she burned... The car in front of that was tipped on it's side, I knew the driver, he survived and I took his statement, but the whole time I was writing I kept looking at him, thinking "Do you know how close you came to dying today?" And he kept looking at me with "that look" on his face, neither of us were willing to ask "that" question. I was there for about 6 hours or so, until we were relieved by the Accident Investigation Squad. Then I had to do traffic duty, re-directing irate motorist who had been shockingly inconvienced by being directed around the collision scene. Some didn't seem to care there were 4 people dead.

 

On the Tuesday I went into work and told my then OIC, "I'm not feeling so good, can I stay in the office and do some paperwork." The reply I got was, "No, either go sick or get out on the road!" I didn't want to go home to an empty house, this was before kids and Stacey was at work. I needed to be around people to keep me on track. One of the other blokes took me out with him and I spent the whole time praying we wouldn't get a collison, I was convinced if we were allocated a collision, it would automatically be a fatal. We were allocated a collision involving an elderly couple. Luckily it was a low speed minor prang, no real harm done, but didn't do my nerves much good.

 

Fortunately The OIC of the uniform section (I was highway patrol) had organised a psychological debrief, with a police welfare team. Everyone else in the room had either gone to the homicide or the fatality, I was the only one who went to both. The hardest part was admitting I was not coping and I didn't understand what was happening to me. Also everyone else seemed to be okay, it was hard because I was in a room full of people who would depend on me if thing went to shit. If they could see I was "not up to it" would they trust me again at the pointy end? People talk about the blue brotherhood, usually in a negative way, it's hard to explain the trust you have to put in someone when your life may depend on it, but it helps police do the things we are asked to do, because we know we will have others who will stand with us. What has been traditionally perceived as weakness is very hard to admit in such circumstances.

 

I was also very lucky the psychologist saw clearly I was in trouble and said so. A few sessions with him and he explained why I was feeling the way I was. Knowing I wasn't "losing it" and a week off work, to "get off the merry go round" for a while was all I needed and I went back to work after that. I still think about it from time to time, but I'm okay with it.

 

The second episode was much worse and took longer to recover. I was transporting a drink driver back to the station. Because of the law in Victoria he was not "under arrest" and therefore not handcuffed. I was working alone, so it was just him and me as I was driving him 30km back to the station for the breath test. Halfway back he attacked me while I was driving, the car travelling at 100kmh on the open highway. He tried to take my service revolver. Had he succeeded, he would have killed me. I survived by spraying him with OC spray in the car, spraying myself in the process. I stopped the car and got out. Fortunately he stayed in the car till back up arrived. If he had got out, I would have shot him.

 

I was off work for about 9 days, while I was off the same OIC as before rang my wife and asked why I hadn't completed my time sheet, not a question about how I was, or could he help. I think they call it, lack of empathy. Oddly enough I have never forgiven this particular individual for his callousness.

 

I came back to work and pretended everything was fine, gradually what I know now to be the clear signs of PTSD developed, but I was in denial. I was emotional, irrational, arguementative. It almost got to the point where I felt Stacey was going to tell me to pack my bags. Just over a month after the incident, I developed shingles, a stress related condition. This was the turning point I had to admit I had a problem. I can honestly say I was the sickest I have ever been in my life, physically and mentally. This time police welfare were of little value, an e-mail, a couple of phone calls, but because this time I was only one member, a long way from the capital city, I was in the "too hard basket"

 

Again luckily my wife, who I love dearly, took charge and drove me to see the police association welfare officer. All it took was for her to take one look at me and say, "My god, how did they let you get this sick!" Just the simple acknowledgement by a stranger was the spark to my recovery. An appointment was arranged with one psychologist, he was an idiot and I never went back to him. But I tried again and found a woman counsellor who I clicked with. I saw her once a week for a few months, I spent as much time asking her questions as she did me. I was off work for a few months. I felt completely cut off from the police force, save for a few visits from a few good friends. It's true, it's times like these you find out who your friends are. I can honestly say there are two people who I owe my life to. One is Stacey for staying strong and sticking with me. The other is Ronnie Carroll, who I met on here. Ronnie knows more about that period of my life than just about anyone. it's the first time I have publicly acknowledged the wonderful support she gave me.

 

It took a very long time but I came back to work, part time for a few months, but eventually I got back to the highway patrol and working one up again. When the matter went to trial, I had a genuine flash back in the witness box, when they replayed my radio distress call on tape. It's the only time I have ever had one.

 

I've taken a long time to recover, I still have my good days and bad days, but I can recognise the signs a lot better and I am very aware of the signs in others.

 

The key to recovery is to admit to your self that there is a problem, realise this does not necessarily mean the end of your career, but it may mean changes need to be made. Find help, and if the first people you have contact with don't help, keep trying till you find the right professional help. I didn't need any medication, but if you do, accept it and take it.

 

I originally posted this in another thread, but I thought it was important to add it here as reading Bored's comment about how important your support network is 100% on the money.

 

The other thing is mental illness for some of us is a life long condition and we will relapse from time to time, that's not weakness, it is just how it is.

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Back to the start of this thread

 

Do you suffer from a mental illness?

 

Yes [ 54 ] [32.53%]

No [ 94 ] [56.63%]

Maybe - yet to see a doctor about it [ 18 ] [10.84%]

 

 

I dont know if these figures are a large enough group to draw any conclusions or even how accurate they are (I would like to think most answered honestly) if so that is a pretty large percentage of us. And if that is to be representative of triathletes then its something to consider when you maybe think some of your training buddies arent acting themselves.

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O.K after starting this thread 2 years ago, I feel it's time.

 

I'm the husband of of someone who suffers from depression and extreme PTSD. My Wife was sexually abused and tortured in ways that I'm yet to read about in the media.

 

I went into the marriage fully aware of her illness and her past. Never did I think life would be this hard.

 

All was going well until our daughter started school in 2006. What triggered the next 5 years I'm not sure but I've found life difficult and I would have to guess my Wife more so.

My Wife has been in and out of hospital 2-3 times a year since then (approx. 14 times) at 3-4 weeks each time, sometimes 5 weeks.

 

I'm the one left to explain to our children (now 8 and 10) what's going on and always have to answer the question from friends "Where's 'insert name', we haven't seen her for ages?" Or I'm the one to ring her work and organise leave without pay. I have to say I've been extremely lucky with my work as I'm sure most of us can get a free break once in a while but 2-3 times year for 5 years?!

 

So where does this end? I'm not sure, she's back in hospital today for at least 2 weeks but I know that is always the minimum. And that's my problem, how to keep dealing with something that has no end?

 

I know people are going to offer best wishes and support (there are a few trannies already who are champions at that) and that helps but at the same time it doesn't.

 

I also have to say to the single parents out there, you are champions. Keeping 2 kids, clean, at their sport training, at school, homework done, bathed, cleanly dressed, fed and happy is not an easy task.

 

And the above is the reason I am too soft for Ironman. No way could I deal with both. Although I have at times considered immersing myself in Ironman knowing it would end my marriage and my pain.

 

Fortunately I love my Wife.

 

(Did I really just click "Add Reply")

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I have no idea what you must be going through! Ask my wife, and she may have half an idea, but that's all and even that much from me drives her nuts.

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O.K after starting this thread 2 years ago, I feel it's time.

 

I'm the husband of of someone who suffers from depression and extreme PTSD. My Wife was sexually abused and tortured in ways that I'm yet to read about in the media.

 

I went into the marriage fully aware of her illness and her past. Never did I think life would be this hard.

 

All was going well until our daughter started school in 2006. What triggered the next 5 years I'm not sure but I've found life difficult and I would have to guess my Wife more so.

My Wife has been in and out of hospital 2-3 times a year since then (approx. 14 times) at 3-4 weeks each time, sometimes 5 weeks.

 

I'm the one left to explain to our children (now 8 and 10) what's going on and always have to answer the question from friends "Where's 'insert name', we haven't seen her for ages?" Or I'm the one to ring her work and organise leave without pay. I have to say I've been extremely lucky with my work as I'm sure most of us can get a free break once in a while but 2-3 times year for 5 years?!

 

So where does this end? I'm not sure, she's back in hospital today for at least 2 weeks but I know that is always the minimum. And that's my problem, how to keep dealing with something that has no end?

 

I know people are going to offer best wishes and support (there are a few trannies already who are champions at that) and that helps but at the same time it doesn't.

 

I also have to say to the single parents out there, you are champions. Keeping 2 kids, clean, at their sport training, at school, homework done, bathed, cleanly dressed, fed and happy is not an easy task.

 

And the above is the reason I am too soft for Ironman. No way could I deal with both. Although I have at times considered immersing myself in Ironman knowing it would end my marriage and my pain.

 

Fortunately I love my Wife.

 

(Did I really just click "Add Reply")

 

That explains, Nealo, why a fanatic triathlete like yourself, could in no way commit to Ironman training. Not sure what to add, but it's tough, very tough.

 

Previous partner of mine..gf, not living in full time, but together enough for me to see what was going on, imo was bi polar with possible catatonic shcizophrenia, not 100% sure on that, because we were only together a few months. She didn't know she was sick, or if she did she didn't want to deal with it. The rest of the time, she was sharp as a tack, never missed a thing..but quite frequently she would have her spell...excessively sleeping for a few days, then losing track of events, not caring or knowing if her kids went to school or not...then she would bounce back, carried on as if nothing unusual happened. Her Mum took care of everything meantime.

 

I knew it..but probably retrospectively, I understand it more now. And I'm somewhat glad, I'm not the one to deal with it...

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You are a good man Nealo, many may not have started or continued down this path. She is very lucky to have you.

Good luck with it all.

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The second episode was much worse and took longer to recover. I was transporting a drink driver back to the station. Because of the law in Victoria he was not "under arrest" and therefore not handcuffed. I was working alone, so it was just him and me as I was driving him 30km back to the station for the breath test. Halfway back he attacked me while I was driving, the car travelling at 100kmh on the open highway. He tried to take my service revolver. Had he succeeded, he would have killed me. I survived by spraying him with OC spray in the car, spraying myself in the process. I stopped the car and got out. Fortunately he stayed in the car till back up arrived. If he had got out, I would have shot him

 

I came back to work and pretended everything was fine, gradually what I know now to be the clear signs of PTSD developed, but I was in denial. I was emotional, irrational, arguementative

 

interesting Hymie. i had a similar incident when i went to stop idiots hurling rocks at passing cars (one of which narrowly missed our daughter), and while trying to hold one of the little pr*cks while calling the cops on my mobile, he produced a knife from God knows where and lunged toward me (I swivelled, he missed by miles). I had absolutely no fear at the time, it was bizzare - just told the tool to drop the knife, then he turned and bolted. In hindsight, i think it has been messing with my head for years. Now i tend to go into high alert mode when crossing paths with similar types and primed to react before it gets anywhere close to a knife appearing :lol: Maybe a form of PTSS :lol:

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Hey Nealo - that is a tough gig. Tough for your wife. Tough for you. I simply cannot imagine what it must be like even though you have given us a snapshot of some of the ways in which what your wife has been through still affects her, you and your family.

 

Full marks for starting the thread. Full marks for posting what you have.

 

Not sure what those of us who know you can do to help except to try to support you. Hope that you let us know if there is anything else we can do.

 

TGL

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O.K after starting this thread 2 years ago, I feel it's time.

 

I'm the husband of of someone who suffers from depression and extreme PTSD. My Wife was sexually abused and tortured in ways that I'm yet to read about in the media.

 

I went into the marriage fully aware of her illness and her past. Never did I think life would be this hard.

 

All was going well until our daughter started school in 2006. What triggered the next 5 years I'm not sure but I've found life difficult and I would have to guess my Wife more so.

My Wife has been in and out of hospital 2-3 times a year since then (approx. 14 times) at 3-4 weeks each time, sometimes 5 weeks.

 

I'm the one left to explain to our children (now 8 and 10) what's going on and always have to answer the question from friends "Where's 'insert name', we haven't seen her for ages?" Or I'm the one to ring her work and organise leave without pay. I have to say I've been extremely lucky with my work as I'm sure most of us can get a free break once in a while but 2-3 times year for 5 years?!

 

So where does this end? I'm not sure, she's back in hospital today for at least 2 weeks but I know that is always the minimum. And that's my problem, how to keep dealing with something that has no end?

 

I know people are going to offer best wishes and support (there are a few trannies already who are champions at that) and that helps but at the same time it doesn't.

 

I also have to say to the single parents out there, you are champions. Keeping 2 kids, clean, at their sport training, at school, homework done, bathed, cleanly dressed, fed and happy is not an easy task.

 

And the above is the reason I am too soft for Ironman. No way could I deal with both. Although I have at times considered immersing myself in Ironman knowing it would end my marriage and my pain.

 

Fortunately I love my Wife.

 

(Did I really just click "Add Reply")

 

Nealo,

 

Ironman is not the be all and end all. It shouldn't change your life. It's a long triathlon. It is satisfying to finish but not as satisfying as coming home to your 2 kids every night (or day, or arvo in your shiftworking case). Much as everyone talks it up it's not as big a deal as being a quality person, husband and father.

 

Join me this season, I'm a short course specialist now.

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Nealo

 

Next time I'm in Sydney - would love to catch up for a coffee & chat.

 

Stay in touch & keep YOUR support network strong as well as the support for your wife. You & your wife both need all the help you can get.

 

Never be afraid to ask for help. You can always return the favour in the future

 

 

B@W

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Guest Gimili
Nealo,

 

Ironman is not the be all and end all. It shouldn't change your life. It's a long triathlon. It is satisfying to finish but not as satisfying as coming home to your 2 kids every night (or day, or arvo in your shiftworking case). Much as everyone talks it up it's not as big a deal as being a quality person, husband and father.

 

Join me this season, I'm a short course specialist now.

 

need to look after your family first......

 

parkie sums it up pretty well......

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Respect Nealo.

 

compared to what you are going through day in day out - IM is like a fairly tale.

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Nealo's post and the response since is exactly why this should be pinned.

 

Nealo I don't begin to imagine how this must affect you or the kids or your wife. Especially thinking of your wife this weekend as it is Mother's Day and she won't be home with the kids which I expect won't be easy for her.

 

You are a good man. And I for 1 am glad you hit add reply.

 

Hugs to you all.

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Nealo, mate that's tough. Just goes to show you never know what's going on behind an ever smiling face.....

 

I wouldn't insult you by pretending to understand what your family is going through, but it sounds like you are a good husband. Your kids sound like they're good kids.

 

As others have said, take the help whenever it is offered. You need an outlet too to help you cope with everything, so take care of yourself also and try and keep up the runs or rides when time permits. We all know how a good run clears the head and prepares you for the day ahead.

 

I hope you feel a little better by speaking out loud about your family's situation. Take care buddy xx

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Nealo's post and the response since is exactly why this should be pinned.

 

Nealo I don't begin to imagine how this must affect you or the kids or your wife. Especially thinking of your wife this weekend as it is Mother's Day and she won't be home with the kids which I expect won't be easy for her.

 

You are a good man. And I for 1 am glad you hit add reply.

 

Hugs to you all.

 

Ronnie is a good friend to have in your corner, I speak from experience!

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And the above is the reason I am too soft for Ironman.

 

Nealo, what you're dealing with is *far* tougher than mere swimming, cycling and running (walking). Hang in there.

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Read this thread and got a hell of a lot out of it.

Many families struggle with depression. Loving someone who has a problem isn't easy.

 

Sometimes I think that taking up Long Course is a way out, a cheat, in not being there to help, or deal with the issues.

 

Many people think that Ironman etc is crazy.

To a point, I agree. Happy, normal people people aren't driven to the extent needed. You need a reason to go that far. The more I read about IM, the more I see peoples need for it is based on something really intense.

 

That might be low self esteem issues, guilt, or an addictive personalities.

Been there. Struggled with weight and booze for nearly 20 years after the family farm went belly up in the early 90's. Can say the next person that points the loaded shotgun at me with the safety off better be prepared to use it.

Thats something I've promised myself.

 

Funny the things that effect people differently. Been to road fatalies through the CFA...up close and personal stuff. I must be a sociopath at heart cos I can honestly say it didn't worry me. Just as well cos the CFA's counselling service was non existant. It did tell me that you are a long time dead. That and I buried some great mates around the same time.

 

Every day above ground is a chance to enjoy life, to do something amazing with it.

 

Maybe I am being selfish. After 30 years of doing everything for the family, this is for me.

Mid life crisis? Maybe.

Bottom line is I go long because I love it. I need it. And for that I find it very hard to apologise.

I know I have an extreme personality, that I can fixate on acheiving goals at the detriment of other things. I can shut down, doing the minimum to get by, avoiding the hard decisions and not wanting to talk about itor even really think about it.. Is that cowardice.?

 

Sorry about the rant. Trying to get my head in a good space before my 1st IM. Want to be at peace with myself.

For some reason thats important now.

Edited by smiffy

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I've just replied to trek's "Do I or don't I" question in the other thread before reading Nealo's post.

 

My thoughts now are who cares whether he does or doesn't. There are far more pressing issues people have to deal with on a daily basis as Nealo has shown us.

 

Again, I'm one of those people who can have no concept of what you and your family are facing Nealo, but I hope that you are able to utilise the help and support of those around you. I'm sure the people closest to you have some awareness of the situation and help out with the kids and the some of the mundane things like cleaning the house and meals etc. Often it's these small tasks that create the most pressure and are the things that are easiest for friends to take care of for you.

 

Take care of yourself and hug your kids.

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Nealo, thanks for sharing.

 

As others have said, I have no idea what you and your family are going through, however my thoughts are with you.

 

Sometimes just talking to others (even if on an internet forum) helps, so hopefully this has been the case for you.

 

A someone who has been bitten by "the dog", albeit in a relatively small and insignificant way, I empathise with you, your wife and your family. Hang tough and you will all get through this.

 

It sounds like you have your shit together and your kids will be all the better for it. Keep at it.

 

All the best

Ayto

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Hey Nealo its good to tell people about this. Dont hide it from your friends, your friends are your best support (see my story page 6). Geez we all walk a thin line between sanity and insanity. Just because your wife needs timeout from the stress and gets some help in hospital is nothing to be ashamed of. Its great that you are able to support her and take on the extra workload in the household.

Situations like yours highlight the fact that sport isnt life, life is relationships. In sport we have a positive outlet and in many cases make many friends....but triathlon is secondary to your wife, kids and family.

 

PS I had a wife for 20 years who cooked cleaned and did most household chores (I did kids homework and some other stuff). When she left I had to learn to clean a bathroom, mop floors and a whole stack of skills I didnt have. As a cook, I was so bad, my sister in law wrote on a piece of paper how to boil rice ! I still have it, I can pass it on to you if you like : )

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Nealo, your a good man and a great husband/father

 

My wife knows where ya coming from...too well.

 

 

Thanks for your open thoughts about Ironman too, thats why I will find it tough....only enough "good stuff"in my head for either work or training...not both. But I use the small amount of positive stuff for family...they need it most.

 

CONFESSION TIME

I have been on this forum since I was made aware of it for a number of years. I have burnt bridges, hurt people, disrespected those who know about Ironman and triathlon in general. In the past I have flown into threads full on, no reading just post what is in my head. But it is time I fessed up to whom I am. SOmeone did pick it, he knows me too well. And I thank you all for your patience and kindness. I have only ever wanted to be normal, like you. But the battle I rage is too big, for me. Thankgoodness for my daughter and Wife.

 

You might know me as Aidstaion, iSam2.0, buffet, fitfastfat, 2XME and there are probably others I have forgotten too.

 

I suffer from a personality disorder with a side serve of severe depression. Hence the 5+ user names/attempts to be Normal. You may or not want to know me but when I look at beer mile photos and IM chat threads...I am jealous. Jealous of the community that you have and that I have stuffed up ssoooooo many times in...not forgivable.

 

So I will change my username, if I am not blocked, so it reads who I really am. SamuelEBrown.

 

I humbley appolagise for any hurt I have caused.

 

This thread should be pinned, its one of the best threads here.

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I humbley appolagise for any hurt I have caused.

 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

Mahatma Gandhi

 

Generally those that cannot forgive are those that cannot admit to their own failings, a lot of us here (myself included) have had some pretty decent "differences of opinion"over the years. Most of us have grown, learned, reconciled and moved on from these experiences.

 

Welcome SamuelEBrown.

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I have read through this entire thread and it is a wake up to me what people go through in their life day to day and I dont really know what to say but feel I need to say something.

 

I think this sport or any sport is a great outlet for any issues.

 

I personally havent had expericance with these issues but I do coach as young kid who after reading this thead may have these issues. He is 15, he lives in a single mother household and she in a wheelchair, his father has bi polar and is in and out if hospital and they live on a pension.

 

He is very up and down and seems to always have a point to prove to the world, he has a bad temper at school and is constantly down on himself. I think this thead has highlighted the fact that I should suggest he talks to someone. Until today i thought he was just a 15 year old kid with self esteam issues but maybe not.

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But the battle I rage is too big, for me.

Everyone has their battles dude, respect to you for being honest about yours.

I have absolutely no idea about the past posts you are referring to, but to acknowlege your mistakes and seek to make them right is the mark of a man.

Hold your head high. Everyone has their faults, to acknowledge your own and accept personality flaws in your friends and loved ones is maturity.

Remember its not perfection that people look for in a friend, just honesty, trust and forgiveness.

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trek, for now, at least, maybe you could talk to him. He may close up completly if you suggest out of the blue he seek counselling.

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Thanks for the PM's and everyone's supportive words. I didn't post just to hear people say I'm a good guy, but it helps to think I'm doing the right thing and everyone's words help me get through this week then I'm glad I posted.

 

I wish others such as FFF all the best as well.

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No Nealo you are immersed in a far more important event

 

+1 Great respect Nealo. Makes other problems insignificant

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Since 2008 I have slowly managed to rebuild my confidence, self esteem and mental strength to a much greater point.

 

I have done this with the help of friends, family, my GP, my psychiatrist and many others..........

 

It has taken considerable time, patience and courage.

 

At the beginning of 2009 I undertook a career change, one that has had its ups and downs, one that has challenge every part of me and I have learnt some very valuable lessons in life.

 

I am now in the very fortunate position where I can help others who are in a very similar position to the one that I was in.

 

I am now about to embark on a possible role within the Mental Health Service here in Adelaide where my skills can assist others to help themselves through exercise and motivation.

 

I am excited and can hardly wait to start :lol:

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And the above is the reason I am too soft for Ironman. No way could I deal with both. Although I have at times considered immersing myself in Ironman knowing it would end my marriage and my pain.

 

Fortunately I love my Wife.

 

Nealo, I had a rather frank discussion with my wife tonight about how IM has been a way for me of dealing with (read avoiding) the rather large personal issues that we have been going through for a while.

 

Luckily for me I have recognised that and ended my IM career, but not before causing a fair amount of unnecessary pain.

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Just bumping this one back up front.

 

Mods - as others have said, would love to see this one pinned.

 

Cheers

Ayto

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And the above is the reason I am too soft for Ironman. No way could I deal with both. Although I have at times considered immersing myself in Ironman knowing it would end my marriage and my pain.

 

(Did I really just click "Add Reply")

 

 

Thinking about this yesterday morning while I was out riding. I tried to do IMWA 09 & 2010 (pulled the pin on 2010). I just couldn't train & not get sick!! I was eating healthy taking vitamins & trying to get 8hrs sleep a night. I was always at the doctors, trying everything to get better - blood tests etc even went to a specailist. We couldn't find anything but I just kept getting sick.

 

This year things are alot better at home & touch wood I haven't been sick for the last 4 months.

 

I don't think you are soft Nelo - I honestly think your body wouldn't allow you to do it.

 

I have completed an Ironman & I have also supported my wife who suffers depression & has been suicidal. Ironman is Easier.

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I was diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder mid-May last year. In hindsight this was probably not the first time I had experienced depression just the first time I had sought help for it. My condition was a combination of stuff happening in my life and genetics. The incidence of depression goes back at least 4 generations in my family. I have been diagnosed with it as has my youngest sister. My mother has also been diagnosed with depression, as was her father and one of her grandmothers. Everything became very difficult to cope with; I became very withdrawn and was lacking motivation in every area of my life. Getting myself to do some training was difficult but I was fortunate enough to have some good friends to train with. Knowing that I had said I would do the session with them made me accountable and the social interaction helped to take the focus off the problems that I was experiencing.

 

The night before the 2010 Busso Half I had a major melt down but still decide to “race”. It was the worst performance I have ever done and I wanted to stop so many times but I didn’t and finished. I took comfort in the fact that no matter how bad I felt or how much I wanted to give in, I didn’t and completed what I had started albeit much slower than I wanted.

 

I spent six months on meds and had some cognitive behavioural therapy. The meds got me able to deal with stuff and the CBT helped me change my thought patterns, behaviour and attitude. I’m much better now but still have to be vigilant not to fall back into my former patterns of thinking. On the scale of things my depression and anxiety was most likely at the milder end of the scale. It gave me a whole heap of respect that have to deal with the severe end of the spectrum.

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As much as I would prefer not to share my PTSD story, I know it may help others, so too Nealo, Bored, Goat Herder and others, your stories help others. Even knowing you are not alone is a big help. Good luck to everyone on their journey.

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I've exchanged a few PM's with a lot of people on here and I have to say B@W (Dave) is a champ.

 

What he posted 2 years ago really struck a chord with me, so I sent him a PM. He was nothing but encouraging and was just what I needed.

 

And when we meet up one day the beers are on me.

 

So to others, if you don't feel like posting your private stuff just PM someone who's posted in this thread and they'll be more than happy to help you out.

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For all the arguments, anger and nastiness that can go on this site there's a hell of a lot of love. It takes a special group of people to create that.

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I've exchanged a few PM's with a lot of people on here and I have to say B@W (Dave) is a champ.

B@W is an A-grade, quality person, Nealo. You will get along well :lol:

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You may recall I ran the NY marathon in honour of my friend "Brocky" who lost her life due to Depression. I raised money for The Black Dog Institute and have since trained to be one of their Volunteer Speakers for the Perth region. They have just rung me to ask if I'll speak in Kalgoorlie as part of Steve Andrews Black Dog "Ride to the Red Centre".

 

I'm not sure how many ride motorbikes but I thought a few of you may be interested to read his site:

 

Black Dog Ride

 

and if you wanted to participate in any way, there are co-ordinator contact details for each state.

 

SteveFitz - I know you've been working hard. How's it all going? Any chance you could get traction with other Steve and his ride?

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I just got a call from the younger brother of a mate of mine. My mate dave, who i've known since I was 10 years old, decided that it was all too much. He killed himself yesterday.

 

I just spoke to him last week, he seemed so positive. He had just had a baby girl 2 months ago. I just don't get it.

 

I'm sorry for putting this on here - i use this place to vent and get advice as much as anything. I just want to go and give his mum a hug, i can't imagine what she's going through...

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I just got a call from the younger brother of a mate of mine. My mate dave, who i've known since I was 10 years old, decided that it was all too much. He killed himself yesterday.

 

I just spoke to him last week, he seemed so positive. He had just had a baby girl 2 months ago. I just don't get it.

 

I'm sorry for putting this on here - i use this place to vent and get advice as much as anything. I just want to go and give his mum a hug, i can't imagine what she's going through...

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