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Ex-Hasbeen

Man-Flu: What is the Mortality Rate?

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Ex-Hasbeen    3,874

OK. I've got Man-Flu. Half of us understand the seriousness of this, and the other half just don't have any idea. At this point, I feel like I did 50min for the swim, 4:45 for the bike, and have been running for 7 hours but am just leaving the Energy Lab. The medical staff are following me with the back of the van open and waiting.

 

I know the actual mortality rate would be much higher if men weren't so tough & resilient, but was just wondering whether I should think about getting things in order so the family can continue on.

 

 

So to lighten my current mood, could I get a few opinions on what my chances are, and whether there are any 30min cures out there.

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Buggeracup    133

Your farked mate!

I suggest you take your life savings and spend it all on hookers and blow so at least you go out with a 'bang'!

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BoomBoomBray    33

Ive been in your shoes for the last 5-6 days. Im starting to feel a bit better now and about to hit the windtrainer for 30mins to test things out.

 

My cure is simple - lots and lots of multivitamins, spirolina (tonnes), water, tea, coffee, those biscuits in the jar at the office, some weatbix during the day when you feel like it, maybe a Coke, some Paddle Pops, and a Large Singapore noodles from the takeaway beneath my office. You could also get a Frappacino from Starbucks if you like but there is no evidence that will help.

 

Race this weekend at Kingy for me!!

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Tyno    1,366

Hasbeen, it never hurts to get your affairs in order.

Can't have them all turning up to your funeral.

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TenPints    769

It's only terminal when the significant other points out it's man flu...from that point onwards you're screwed for any help, sympathy or support, hence you become doomed!

 

Get better soon! Whiskey, honey and hot water...heavy on the whiskey!

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Mr Tinman    186

Whiskey, honey and hot water

 

OK , so whiskey and honey are obviously hookers, but Ive never heard of blo refered to as hot water

Man you poms are weird sometimes :lol:

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Ex-Hasbeen    3,874
Your farked mate! I suggest you take your life savings and spend it all on hookers and blow so at least you go out with a 'bang'!

So you feel I should just continue on as if nothing has happened? I thought maybe a change of lifestyle would have helped.

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AP    1,597

Poor bastard - you need to talk it out - tell your wife all of your symptoms - encourage her to do everything she can to make you more comfortable - call her often for little things you may need - women are good at giving sympathy - that's the way they're made

 

Pretty soon you'll be back on top :smile1:

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Ayto    347

Your farked mate!

I suggest you take your life savings and spend it all on hookers and blow so at least you go out with a 'bang'!

 

 

This.

 

 

Failing that, I have always found a little bell useful.............and I ring that ba5tard for all it is worth. My partner loves it.

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AP    1,597

A good suggestion - the little bell will really help - I'll have to get one for when I am crook next time :smartarse:

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lawman    264

Gees mate, not good. It is likely to last at least all weekend, put your feet up and get plenty of rest. You'll get much better, much quicker wilth plenty of help from your partner.

 

It is also likely that the symptoms will persist at least until your next race. Best to make sure everyone knows how unwell you have really been when talking about how you just weren't at your best on the day.

 

I have heard that the symptoms can be cured by a substantial acquisition, like mmmmm a new bike. At the very least it should take your mind off the suffering you must be experiencing. Who would have thought that the LBS is the new pharmacy.

 

Good luck, get well soon.

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Flat on my back on the couch since Sunday, sucking down more codeine and paracetamol than an ice addict.  First cold or flu in 10+ years I reckon but sh*t it has knocked me. 

Can't see any exercise happening for at least another week.

The Mrs had a flu-shot, so we'll see if they work!

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Peter    1,612

Been down since last Friday. Thought I was good. Back down today. 

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Bored@work    1,495
On 3/8/2013 at 10:35 AM, AP said:

A good suggestion - the little bell will really help - I'll have to get one for when I am crook next time :smartarse:

There is an app for that.  

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Bored@work    1,495

Same as Peter.  Been crook for a week.  Been sitting on the couch watching the guy paint the house for a week now.  

Thought I better get the house ready to sell just in case I pass.  

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Flanman    1,112

New bike, day at the races with your mates, chinese food (Thai is very ill), reduce beer intake, increase bourbon intake, increase sleep by 50% plus a good worming.

FM 

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Stikman    1,303

The stats show a mortality rate of 327% in males aged between 18 and 72.  I had it two weeks ago and died five times but I've almost recovered fully now.

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