What they said Jess... but on a more serious point if you've had the black dog chatting in your head about "speeding the process up" then please, please go and talk to somebody about it. Your doctor, the Samaritans (you can email them), just somebody.
Having been there it's easy to begin to think that those thoughts are just part of life. They're really not. They can also be stopped with the right help. It's easy to get blase about them but they're such a real horrible risk that they need treating just as much as if you found a weird lump!
That aside, chin up and as my Pa always says "Noli illegitimi carborundum"