Ayto

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Ayto last won the day on October 4 2016

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About Ayto

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  • Birthday 25/05/73

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  1. Steady on Goughy.........not that old!!
  2. Meet my grand daughter, Savannah Rose. Born 11.51pm 21 April. 7 pound 5 oz. All well.
  3. Gotta say I am disappointed with this thread so far. With the amount of Flogs out there I thought we would be up to about page 10 by now....................
  4. What about the flog that lives across the road that, because he doesn't work, seems to think that no matter what day or no matter what time, it is imperative that he sits in the front driveway tinkering around with his piece of $hit VN SS Commodore and revving the Christ out of it..............over and over and over. Grade A Flog.
  5. ^^^^^^^ What he said. Tathra is awesome Awesome Pub up high overlooking the ocean.
  6. Little bit out of your way Cottoneyes, but if you want to head north via the Newell a great place to stop is the Big 4 at Darlington Point (about 30km south of Griffith). Great park right on the Murrumbidgee with great hosts. Also, if you have time 5 mins out of town is the Altina Zoo (http://www.altinawildlife.com) An awesome day out for the kids. Ayto
  7. Thanks for all the responses to date guys. Appreciate the thoughts and sentiments. It all just keeps getting better. My work car got knocked off out of our driveway sometime between 7am and 1pm today. Yep, broad daylight!! Anyways....... I've had the chance to sit back and have a think. At this stage I am just letting the whole situation settle down and see what happens. I'm not sure of the next steps but it will all form up in due course I'm sure. In the meantime Bel and I intend to keep doing the things we had planned already and will be heading away for both Easter and the extended Anzac weekend as we both have the Monday off. Thanks again. Appreciate everyone's thoughts Ayto
  8. Thanks for all the responses guys. This is an awesome place to be able to vent without judgement. I hear what everyone is saying. I know that if I just let them go it will be next to impossible to re-build a relationship with them and it will be seen as me giving up on them, being the bad guy. But you know what, I already am the bad guy. Simply because I have remarried (and I'm happy) whilst poor mum is stuck on her own. Doesn't matter that she ended our marriage to be with someone else, she has managed to convince the kids and everyone else (and I'm sure, herself) otherwise. I can't win because I have chosen to (eventually) move on and be happy. I have done all the letters, presents, phone calls, texts, birthday cards etc last time I was alienated. It did squat because we are back where we started. I know they are being unduly influenced, however both are very, very smart kids and they know and understand the consequences of what they have said and their behaviour. I have been very mindful of communicating with them directly as well as via family counselling around what we need to do to keep this family strong, what my expectations are around behaviour, and the importance of communication. I don't know what else to do. Nothing works because we have such a bitter, spiteful influence sitting on the other side working to undo any of my efforts of having a decent relationship with my kids. At this point, I'm too tired emotionally, and too sick of throwing good money after bad, to go in and fight again like I have for the last 5 or 6 years. I'm spent.
  9. Hi Trannies, A lot of you will know a bit about my story, and in particular, post separation with my first wife I spend a period of nearly 2 years where I didn't see my kids due to what I now understand to be parental alienation. 2 years of hard work, angst, and financial cost (ie many multiple 10 of thousands) and 10 days before I re-wed I finally got my matter heard in the federal court and received consent orders to transition back into regular visitations with my children. Over that time, like all blended families, there has been numerous "ups and downs" however through determination, communication as well as external assistance by way of mediation and / or family counselling it has generally been coasting along ok. My ex continues to create angst wherever possible by refusing to negotiate school holiday time and the like, which has required more trips back to the lawyers, significant extra expense, as well as the unnecessary angst and anxiety that goes along with that. However, I reiterate, it has generally gone well with the children and I forging a great relationship despite the ongoing reluctance of my ex to work towards successful co-parenting. (examples include her enrolling our eldest into high school with no communication with me, same with sport and the like, which all impacts on my time with them). Fast forward 2 and a half years from receipt of the consent orders, and Belinda and I have been working hard to organise a joint birthday party for the kids, as their birthdays are a week apart on the 23rd and 30th March. Invitations have gone out, kids have had input into their cakes, party games, pinata's etc etc, for the sleep over party being held tomorrow night. Last Saturday (ie a week before the party) and completely out of the blue my wife (not me) gets an email from my daughter to advise they won't be coming to the party, and in fact won't be coming to spend time with us again. Amongst other things, in the message my daughter also advised that she will no longer call me Dad, but Steve, as to call me Dad she would need to love me and she refuses to lie to herself any more. And finally, pretty much gave my wife an ultimatum that "if she truly loved my father as much as you claim you would leave this family". WTF??? I have attempted to speak with both children over the phone. My daughter (13) simply wasn't interested and telling me "refer to the message, it's all there" and my son (11), when I asked when I would see them next told me "when I get rid of Belinda". Are you kidding me? I don't know what has happened, what has been said or how they have been influenced to end up in this position, but something has happened. My ex refuses to communicate with me to advise anything (piss poor). Not even the guts to contact me to say a word. I have some views on what has happened, and I have no doubt this is a reaction to my request for time with the children over the upcoming school holidays (as allowed for in the consent orders). Rather than agree to comply, and out of spite, this is the shit she pulls to get her way. I know this sounds absolutely biased and that I am faultless (I am not, far from it), but I have worked bloody hard to make sure this works for everyone, and to have someone working against that in the background, and to create situations that have such profound impacts on people and relationships is unacceptable. I am now done. I have spent so much time, effort and money to get to this point, only to have it all go shit shaped, that I simply don't have the fight left in me. I am not going to be forced into a decision based on an ultimatum. Although, by default that will and has happened anyway as by me choosing to continue to be with my wife, the children refuse to see me. My daughter birthday was yesterday. She was supposed to spend time (as allowed for in the orders) with us which obviously didn't happen. I didn't contact her at all. I won't be contacting my son next week either. Finally, and just to be 100% clear, the children could not have ever received a bigger supporter in Belinda. She was the one, that when we were preparing affadavits and shelling out coin left, right and center to go to Court, that kept pushing me to see it through, to make sure that the kids had a relationship with me. Particularly when I was at the point of giving up because it was all too hard. We have only just now, 2.5 years down the track, finished paying off the loan I was forced to take out to pay the lawyer costs. She has never once complained about any of that. She was the one that was always organising the family events, the birthday parties and making the cakes from scratch, the family holidays, the family activities to ensure that they were always included and made to feel part of this family. She was always the one that was driving the kids to school (and subsequently missing out on lunch) because I start work too early. She was the one running around on weekend taking one of them to sport when I was taking the other because they were often scheduled to play at opposite ends of town (or even in different towns). Dead set, the way she has been treated by both the children and my ex is disgusting. Belinda is trying to encourage me to continue fighting (still.......despite all this crap), but I am done. So here we are, right back at where we were prior to consent orders. Only thing changed is I'm 2.5 years older and $70k worse off in lawyer costs. And yet, the expectation is my child support payments will increase now that the children are in the mothers care 100%. Pig's arse. I will always (and have always) paid what was required, and in a lot of cases more (currently paying for braces, over and above CSA) but I refuse to pay anymore when this is NOT my choice.
  10. Rattie, I was 36 when I separated from my wife, had 2 kids aged 3 & 5, and not 6 months before separation had had a vasectomy as we had made the decision that we weren't going to have any more kids. Post separation, I felt (and still do) a fair bit of bitterness towards my ex as she took away my options for more children by not telling me how she felt when i had my vasectomy (considering she advised me had been considering separation for 2 years!). Fast forward and 3 years post separation I met my (now) wife. Unlike your scenario she had an older daughter (16 at the time) and, like you, we had many long conversations regarding children together. She was for, I was against. Like you, I'm too old to go through all that again. Ultimately, we have decided we are not going to have any more children. The key to all of this was communication, communication, communication. We had a few goes at this as we would come to a decision (no children) and then my wife would go through a process of reconsidering and we would communicate some more. 5 years down the track (married for 2) we are now firmly on the same page and know we will not have any children together. My advise to you is that you need to be prepared to broach the subject a few times before a definative answer is agreed. As always, be respectful to your partner, consider all views and talk, talk, talk. End of the day, if it's meant to be it will be, but if it's not that's ok as well....................as long as you have both had sensible, adult conversations and full transparency, you can both make informed, good decisions accordingly. Good luck, and congratulations on your new relationship Ayto
  11. My daughter recently left a DVD player worth about $70 on a flight to NZ. They wanted $120 to return it, so I told them to keep it!! As Ex said, get someone to pick it up and post it.
  12. Taupo. I only had one go at IM, which was 2012 and it got cancelled to a 70.3 instead. Nonetheless, in terms of venue, atmosphere, scenery and the ability to tack on a bit of a holiday for you / the family it's a no-brainer. In fact, I just took the family back to Taupo in January for a holiday just because it's a great place to base yourself to explore a lot of the North Island. Having said all that, I've spectated at Port as well and enjoyed that as well (might have been the fact I was watching and drinking beer!!) Cheers Ayto
  13. Steer clear of Panasonic, Hisense and the cheaper panels. Stick with the likes of Sony. Mine have been awesome over the years. Having said that I also presently have a Samsung and an LG. Samsung have got a hold on the market so plenty of offerings in that space. LG is changing up their stock so getting a finishing line model could be a cheap option at present. New ranges are expected from June onwards across all brands so current stock and display models will be selling up cheap. Go UHD if possible and make sure it has HDR, at least 100Hz. 200Hz would be better but price goes up. Happy hunting!!
  14. Similar to above, 6 days a week it's a smoothie of some kind and generally with a spoonful of coffee. (Banana / Coffee - get on it). Sundays are generally a fry up of some kind. Eggs, bacon, tomato, avo, beans, hash brown.............mmmmmmm
  15. Last episode of Vikings last night before the "Mid-Season break". Apparently the second half doesn't air until June!!!! For Christ sake..........will need to watch the first half again before the second half starts to refresh my memory!